


The Journal

by MidStarlight



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Anxiety, Attempted Suicide in Chap.10, Depression, Fellcest - Freeform, Incest, M/M, Mild Sexual Assualt in Chap.7, Self-Loathing, Suicidal Thoughts, affection-starved!sans, cruel!papyrus, dark themes, first undertale story, more tags to be added later, possessive!papyrus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-23 11:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6115273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidStarlight/pseuds/MidStarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans decides to write down all his issues into a journal. A certain tall skeleton finds it, and he is pleasantly surprised... [DISCONTINUED]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not a Diary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first Undertale story, so please don't judge it too harshly!

"SANS! YOU IDIOTIC SLOB! GET UP OR I'LL PERSONALLY WAKE YOU UP MYSELF!"

Sans groaned and rolled over, burying his face in the pillow. It had been one of _those_ nights. Where he would wake up from a nightmare in a cold sweat, and he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep until it was well into the morning. Honestly, he would've been alarmed if it hadn't been a bad night.

Since Papyrus always woke him up at 7:00 AM sharp, Sans had gotten a whopping three hours of sleep. Joy. Why did he have to get up again? Oh, right, Papyrus. He would have his head if he didn't come downstairs, literally. Sans made a half-hearted effort to roll out of bed, but his body felt like lead. He lied halfway off the mattress, and he closed his eye sockets in exhaustion. Surely no one would care if he never opened them again...

SLAM. The door was slammed opened with enough force to shake the whole house. Papyrus grabbed a fearful Sans by the front of his red shirt and mercilessly pulled him up to his height, leaving the short skeleton dangling over the hard floor.

"I thought I told you to. Get. Up," Papyrus growled.

"i-i was just about to, boss. i swear," Sans replied nervously, gripping Papyrus' wrists to keep himself from falling and losing his 1 HP.

"Sure you were, and I was about to resign from second in command of the Royal Guard," he mocked. "You can't even obey a simple order, can you? Typical," Papyrus sneered.

Sans shrunk in on himself and bowed his head. " _He's right, you know_ ," voiced his insecurities.

Papyrus roughly tossed him back onto the bare mattress. It was just enough not to kill him but only just. Sans winced and grit his teeth, remaining quiet. "Be down at your post in ten minutes. Undyne is patrolling Snowdin today, and if you're late and make me look bad..." Papyrus trailed off, threateningly, casting a dark glare over his shoulder. "And since I had to wake you up, you can make your own damn breakfast." He strode out of the room.

Once Sans was sure he was gone, he let out a shaky breath and got off the bed. Using his right arm to push himself off the bed, he winced as he realized his radius had a chip in it. He checked himself over, and, sure enough, his pelvis had several small chips in it, too. He groaned; he really needed to get a better mattress.

Dragging his feet towards the doorway, he left his room and made his way downstairs. Sans looked towards the kitchen. For a second, he actually contemplated cooking himself a decent breakfast. Nah, too much effort. He could just chug the mustard at his sentry station, anyway. Taking a deep breath, Sans gathered his magic and teleported to his sentry station.

 

* * *

 

The patrol went fine. Papyrus was satisfied, and that was all Sans cared about. It didn't matter that he had had to scratch at the chips in his arm to stay awake, or that he had had to deal with Undyne's unrelentless interrogation that made his anxiety sky rocket. He would suck it up and put up with it. For Papyrus.

Speaking of anxiety, his and Papyrus' relationship took that to a whole other level. He made him feel things that should be impossible for monsters like them. Papyrus made Sans want to be held and protected, to be cared for. Fuck him if that wasn't just the most pathetic thing ever. Sometimes, he would purposefully instigate his brother just to get some sort of touch from him. Stars, he was such a sick little fuck, and he knew Papyrus didn't deserve any of his mess. But he couldn't help it. At times, the weight of his secret would become too great, and he caught himself almost telling Grillby about it, or to any of the monsters around him. Was he really so desperate for someone to confide in that he was willing to spill his secret to anyone?

That's why Sans decided to get a journal. No, not a diary. He had found one at the Garbage Dump, and he was determined to write down his issues and get this unsettling weight off his soul.

It was around midnight, and Papyrus was already fast asleep. Sans carefully pulled away a loose piece of carpet in the corner of his room to expose a torn away floorboard underneath. Under the floorboard, there was a journal which he pulled out.

Opening to the first page, he muttered, "i can't believe i'm doing this." Sans plucked a stray pen out of his self-sustaining tornado of trash and sat on his mattress.

hello journal. i have no idea why i'm writing to you like you're a real monster but whatever. i'm too lazy to cross it out. heh. i guess i just needed somewhere to write down my messed up thoughts. lately...i've been having major problems with my brother, and, stars, if i could change it, i would. he doesn't deserve the shit i put him through. hell, i have no idea why he hasn't killed me yet. i just don't know how much longer i can deal with all this. the nightmares, the pain in my chest whenever i'm around him, the anxiety. why am i even trying anymore? i think i'm hoping for more out of life than this, but a pathetic monster like me doesn't get that option. i just want things to be okay for once. is that too much to ask?...welp. until next time i guess. 

Sans closed the journal and carefully put it away. Time for another sleepless night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter! Things will get more interesting in the next chapter!


	2. The Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the awesome feedback, guys! I also updated the last chapter because I realized that Sans' room isn't made out of bricks lol, so the journal is underneath the carpet instead.

_"Oh, Sans. You're such a disappointment. Can't you at least try not to be so worthless?" Papyrus said, his voice laced with disgust.  
_

_"pa-papyrus?" Sans questioned, suddenly feeling very small._

_"That's boss to you," Papyrus snarled._

_Sans' eye sockets widened comically, and he hastily corrected his mistake, "i'm sorry, boss; i wasn't thinking."_

_The tall skeleton's face morphed into a cold expression, "For once, I agree with you. You never do anything right, you never think anything through, you always make things difficult, you're lazy, you're weak, and you're disgusting. Did you really think I wouldn't find out about your little crush on me? As if I would EVER have any interest in you!" Papyrus sighed and continued ruthlessly, "You lousy excuse for a monster, you can't even like someone properly. I mean, really, crushing on your own brother? How could I be related to such garbage? I hate you."_

_The pain in his rib cage continued to grow; his words cutting deep. Sans was freaking out._

_"_ stars, he hates me, he fucking hates me. he's disgusted and horrified and ohstarsohstars why do i always fuck things up? what's wrong with me?! i ruin everything. i'd be more useful as dust. i hate myself _," he thought, panicking._

_Papyrus slowly advanced towards him with his cruel, cold eye sockets burning holes into Sans' soul. By the time Papyrus had reached him, the ache had increased to unbearable levels. Sans reached up to rub at the ache in his chest. Papyrus quickly caught his wrist in an iron grip and lifted Sans up by his arm. Sans struggled to get away from the unforgiving hold, but Papyrus only increased the strength of his hold. Sans let out a pathetic whimper. The younger brother dug his claws into Sans' radius, and the bone let out a sickening crack as it traveled up the rest of his arm. Sans felt his HP go down by .1._

_Papyrus continued to crack his bones one by one, "Weak." Ulna. "Disgusting." Humerus. "Annoying." Carpals. "Lazy." Ribs. He dropped Sans-_

_"please, boss," Sans begged in vain, his voice breaking._

_-only to harshly stomp his boot down onto Sans' leg bones. "Idiotic." Femur. "Disgraceful." Patella. "Embarrassing." Tibia. "Worthless." Fibula._

_Sans panted; his breath came out in harsh, unsteady pants. He laid defenseless and exhausted on the floor._

_"b-boss, please don't do this. i can ch-change. i'll do anything you want me to do," Sans tried one last time._

_"Please, you've already had your chance," Papyrus concluded, and he jerked up Sans' shirt only to reach into his ribcage and aggressively pull out his blue soul. It was dull and weak, flickering ever so often._

_Sans gasped at the foreign sensation. His brother's hand was encasing his entire soul, and it felt like he was surrounded by Papyrus' magic completely. Before he had time to dwell on his new situation, Papyrus started to slowly squeeze the blue heart. To Sans, it felt like he was being suffocated from the inside out. The air in his nonexistent lungs was being forced out of him, and all he could manage was a pitiful croak. He clenched his fingers, and his damaged arms protested with his every movement. Sans' vision started to go black around the edges, and Sans stared at his brother hopelessly._

_Papyrus' only response was to squeeze his soul tighter as he casually stated, "I'm actually doing you a favor, Sans. No one will miss you when you're gone, and no one will remember you. I know I certainly won't."_

_Sans felt the tears he had so desperately been trying to hold in pour out of his eye sockets. The gaping hole in his chest had swallowed up his entire being, and he knew if Papyrus didn't kill him in time, the pain in his chest would. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you looked at it), Papyrus gave Sans one last look of disappointment before viciously crushing his soul in the palm of his clawed hand, and everything went dark._

 

* * *

 

Sans bolted up out of bed, his left eye blazing with red magic that illuminated the entire room. Tears were streaming down his face, and he quickly wiped them away. He could practically feel the pains all over his bones, and his soul hurt so badly. Tremors raked his body, and he slowly brought his shaking hand to his chest. Summoning his soul, Sans carefully brought it out in front of him. It had been a long time since he had done this. He knew his soul was weak, but this, this was just sad. His blue soul wasn't even glowing, and it looked so frail in his hands. Suddenly, Sans saw something that caught his attention. There were tiny, thin cracks running up and down his soul all over the place. He cautiously ran his thumb over one, but he instantly drew back, a burning sensation erupting in his chest. The skeleton gasped and doubled over in pain. After the pain ebbed away, he carefully began to place his soul back in his ribcage.

Sans looked out the window over his mattress. It was still dark outside. He sighed and laid down on his bare mattress tiredly. A corner of his carpet was sticking up ever so slightly.

" _well, it's not like i have anything better to do_ ," he thought.

Walking over to the corner of the room, he pulled the carpet away and took out the journal. Then, he began to write.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus looked at the couch, irritated. He had decided to clean up the house because it was, quite honestly, getting disgusting.

" _Which is all Sans' fault, really. I'm only ever in the kitchen or my room, and both of them are spotless. This couch, however, has so many mustard and dirt stains on it that I can't tell what color it was originally!_ " Papyrus thought. He lifted up the couch cushions with two clawed fingers, not wanting to touch it longer than necessary, "Nyeh! What fuck even is that?! Actually, I don't want to know. If the whole house is in this condition, then I'll just have to clean the whole damn house. How dirty is Sans? Ugh, he's such a revolting slob; can't he clean up his own messes?!"

With that, he got the vacuum out from under their tall sink and proceeded to clean the living room. Once he was done, he exclaimed, "There! It's a good thing Sans is out at his sentry post, or he'd just be in my way!" Papyrus paused, and an idea came to him, "Hmm, Sans' room is probably a hideous mess, too..."

He walked up the stairs, taking two at a time. When he reached to door, he carelessly shoved it opened. It would've been locked, but Papyrus broke it the day before. The scene before him was surprising to say the least. He had never really paid attention to his brother's room before, so it had never occurred to him how messy it was. There were socks everywhere, his sheets for the mattress were rolled up in a ball, his pillow was on the floor, and there was...a self-sustaining tornado of trash.

Papyrus scowled, "Trust Sans to use his magic on a trash tornado and not something useful." Then, he quickly used his magic to levitate the socks, the sheets, and the pillow into the laundry room. He summoned the vacuum cleaner into his hand and cleaned the whole carpet. When he was cleaning near the dresser, he noticed a tiny corner of the carpet was lifted up. He didn't really think anything of it until the carpet stuck to the vacuum, and it was pulled back to reveal an empty space.

"What do we have here?" Papyrus asked curiously, bending down to look in the space.

What he saw only made him more interested, "A journal?" He opened it to the first page and read the entry. "I've been having major problems with my brother...I just don't know how much longer I can deal with all this. The nightmares, the pain in my chest whenever I'm around him, the anxiety..." he mumbled some of the phrases out loud. "Is this a _diary_? This is painfully cliche...but if this was hidden in the floor, then he must be hiding something interesting." The controlling side of him wanted answers. "Just what are you hiding from me...," he murmured. Slowly, Papyrus realized what this meant, and he felt a wicked smile grow on his face. "If Sans wants to keep secrets, then I'll just have to keep tabs on him. I can wait until he goes to his shift, and then I can read whatever he wrote in here."

Wanting to know more, he turned to the next page, and it read:

i had another nightmare. this one was worse than all the others. stars, it was fucking terrible. papyrus was slowly killing me and telling me how worthless I was. it wasn't that this was anything new, but...this time, he knew about my secret.-

Papyrus' eye sockets narrowed. Sans had nightmares about him? He wasn't sure how he felt about that. And just what exactly was this secret?

-he kept telling me how disgusting it was and that he hated me. it just made my realize...that i'm never going to be worthy of him. i try so hard to get some praise or anything positive from him, but i'm just a burden. things are okay right now. i shouldn't fuck things up, but how long can i keep suffering in silence? i want his attention and his affection so bad. stars, what i wouldn't do for him. i'm so pathetic.

The journal entry ended there.

This was...shocking to say the least. Papyrus read the last sentences over and over again until he was sure he had it memorized. He put the journal away exactly how he found it and started pacing.

"Sans wants my attention this badly? Have I been neglecting him this much? Hmm...." A sadistic idea came over him, and he perked up. "Although, this isn't exactly a bad thing. Now that I know his weakness, I can get my brother to do anything I want him to do! In fact, I can use his cravings for affection against him to get him to agree to anything I want! No more messes, no more laziness, and no more shit to put up with! Nyeh heh heh! Besides, having complete and utter control over my brother is rather appealing," he said, smirking.

He walked out of Sans' room and shut the door. Time to put the plan into motion.

 

* * *

 

Sans eagerly opened the front door. Heavy snow was already falling, and the wind was howling fiercely. There was a blizzard approaching, and he wanted to get inside before it hit too hard. He closed the door behind him, and he wiped his sneakers on the mat and shook out his jacket before putting it back on. Sans knew Papyrus hated it when snow got into the house. He looked around the living room for his brother. However, he was surprised to see him sitting on the couch watching TV. Papyrus usually never sat in the living room or sat down at all, really, except for sleeping. As he took a few steps further into the house, he noticed it smelled kinda nice. Huh. He figured Papyrus must've cleaned the house.

"hey, boss. thanks for cleaning the house. it smells nice," Sans commented, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets to hide his nervousness.

"I didn't clean it for you. But regardless, you're welcome," Papyrus replied stiffly.

Papyrus said "your welcome"? Sans' shock must've shown on his face, for Papyrus raised a brow ridge as if Sans was questioning his authority.

"u-uh, no problem, boss," Sans said uneasily. He stood in the middle of the living room uncomfortably, not sure if he was allowed to sit down on the couch or if he should go up to his room. Sans decided on the latter, and he slowly turned to go up the stairs.

"Sans."

Said skeleton immediately stopped and turned back to face his brother.

"yes, boss?" Sans answered tentatively. What would Papyrus need him for? Shit, what had he screwed up this time?

"Come here," he answered, gesturing to the couch.

Sans quickly walked over to the couch, not wanting to keep Papyrus waiting, and he sat on the opposite end that Papyrus was sitting on. The taller brother sighed and looked at Sans, exasperated.

"Sit next to me, Sans."

Sans gulped and nodded. He awkwardly scooted down to where his brother was sitting. He tried to keep a fair amount of distance between them, but Papyrus' weight caused the cushion to dip down. So Sans ended up sliding down right next to him, so their hips were touching. His face became as red as a tomato, and he shifted anxiously.

" _why is he asking me to sit by him? is this some kind of sick joke that's gonna come back to bite me in the ass? i mean, it's not that i don't like it. it actually feels kinda nice-no. stop that kind of thinking before you make it even more obvious that you like him as more than a brother_ ," Sans berated himself.

All thoughts, however, were immediately halted as Papyrus put a gloved hand on top of Sans' head.

"Good boy," he praised.

Sans froze, every bone in his body tensing up. His mind was racing, and his soul was thumping wildly inside his chest as he unconsciously leaned his skull up into the touch. His soul was now a steady hum against his ribcage, and his eye sockets automatically closed.

"Sans, I have meeting with Undyne tomorrow. You'll cover my duties at the sentry station all day, won't you?" Papyrus asked, petting Sans with a wicked smile.

Sans nodded, not really understanding or caring what he had agreed to. All he cared about was the amazing warmth inside of him.

Suddenly the hand was gone, and Sans snapped his eyes open (he didn't even realize they closed), and his receding blush from before came back twice as strong. If Sans hadn't looked away in embarrassment, he would've seen Papyrus smirking victoriously. Let the games begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews and kudos! I've been having such a terrible week, and this story has really taken my mind off of it!


	3. Greater Dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS TOOK FOREVER. Okay, I was originally going to finish this on the thirty-first, but my whole second part of the story was only half as good as it could've been. Soooo, I deleted everything but the first five paragraphs or so, and started over. 
> 
> And oh my god. This community is outstanding. Everyone is so supportive, and I was honestly blown away by it. I wrote this story just to get the idea on paper, but I never expected this many people to read it!
> 
> Thanks so much for the reviews! I love replying to every one of them, and they really make my day!

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He fucked up. He fucked up because he was a fuck up, and now he has to fucking deal with it. Fuck.

What was he thinking? Acting like a pussy (literally and figuratively) just because Papyrus patted his head? Sans almost purred when he praised him, and he practically melted into the couch. Fucking pathetic. Why does life always enjoy making him miserable? Stars, just thinking about that evening made him want to bash his skull into the sentry station until it was nothing but dust.

Which brought him to his current situation. Sans was sitting on a stool in his sentry station in the Snowdin Forest, slumped over with his chin resting on his crossed arms. The weather was terrible. It was only lightly snowing, but the strong wind made it bothersome.

" _heh. i never knew i'd have this much in common with the weather,_ " Sans joked humorlessly inside his head.

In short, it was a great day to wallow in self-hatred. Thinking back on last night's awkwardness, his mind couldn't help but wander to every time he'd done something shitty or cringeworthy. He felt a headache coming on just thinking about it. Sans buried his face further into his arms, and he pulled his fur-lined hood up over his head. He really hated having all of this time alone. The more time he had to himself, the more time he had alone with his dark thoughts. Why was he such a failure, anyway? Couldn't he just receive a pat on the head without freaking out?

" _obviously, not,_ " Sans thought bitterly.

Then, the clock he kept in his sentry station beeped. Sans jumped, bolting upright; his left eye was aglow with a hellish light, ready for an attack. Realizing what it was, Sans' shoulders slumped in relief. He had set an alarm to remind him when to start patrolling the forest. He sluggishly hopped off of the stool and made his way towards the path leading towards Snowdin. He did agree to cover Papyrus' duties today, after all.

The memory of him agreeing to do this had Sans violently shoving his hands into his pockets, and he clenched his fingers in embarrassed anger.

"i'm so weak. one little touch and i'm a mindless slave," Sans mumbled, kicking a stray pebble out of his way.

The path was empty, and so far, there was no sign of any humans or monsters causing unwanted trouble. He continued to walk down the path, always keeping an eye socket out for any surprise attacks. In this world it was kill or be killed. If it wasn't for his brother, Sans would've been dust a long time ago. Truthfully, he owed a lot to Papyrus. He put a roof over his head, he looked out for Sans, and he put up with him. He was also second in command in the Royal Guard; it took some serious skill and ruthlessness to impress Undyne like that. Every monster, excluding Undyne and the king of course, feared Papyrus, and he was well respected, not just in Snowdin, but in every region. His brother really was the coolest. Which was why Sans didn't understand how someone as amazing as his brother could ever bother with some lousy failure who just took up space. And he knew that if one day Papyrus decided to get rid of him once and for all, he wouldn't put up much of a fight. It was the least he could do.

Suddenly, Sans bumped into something hard. He let out a little cry as he stumbled back slightly, and he looked up in surprise, not realizing he had walked this far. In front of him were two tables with a frozen plate of spaghetti and a microwave on it. He remembered this. Papyrus set this up about five years ago. Sans was surprised to see it still there; he guessed no one bothered to clean in up, that and the tables were frozen to the ground.

The short skeleton sighed, remembering what life was like five years ago. Papyrus was more lenient back then. Well, he still wasn't nice, but he wasn't as cruel as he was now. Sans wasn't as anxious as he was now, either, and his brother could actually tolerate him on some days. Papyrus also hadn't made it into the Royal Guard. When he finally got accepted, he was the lowest ranking member, like all the newbies who first joined. That didn't last long. Papyrus toughened up and trained nonstop. He was ambitious, and he didn't hesitate to do anything (or kill anything) it took to get to the top. Just another reason to admire him.

Sans ran his hand along the edge of the table tiredly before dropping it uselessly at his side. Why was he here again? Oh, right. Patrolling the forest. As he passed by the microwave, a rustle came from the trees. It was the only warning he got before he felt his soul being pulled into a battle. Greater Dog stood there, growling.

"Look what we have here. A 1 HP monster like you shouldn't be wandering the forest alone," the giant dog snarled. "I've been waiting for an opportunity like this. Once I take you hostage, Papyrus will have no choice but to step down! That second in command position is mine!"

Sans almost laughed. If Greater Dog wanted to capture something Papyrus cared about, he should've gone after the bones Papyrus used for his special attack. Not Sans. He let out an exasperated sigh. It was just another butt hurt wannabe who was jealous of his cool brother. They were obviously too scared to face Papyrus head on (Sans could definitely relate), so they went for the next best thing: his brother. Except that Sans was no where near as great as his brother.

" _this is just a waste of time,_ " Sans thought, annoyed. " _i'm outta here._ " He focused on another part of the forest, ready to teleport away.

However, Greater Dog wasn't finished yet. "Your brother isn't even half as strong as he thinks he is! That scum bag is probably just whoring himself out to Undyne to get into her good books!" he sneered.

Sans froze. His pupils disappeared entirely, and his left eye lit up with a deadly, blood red flame. He summoned his bones in a circle around the two of them, their wickedly sharp ends pointing towards Greater Dog. A wide, menacing smile stretched over his face.

" **no one insults my brother.** "

 

* * *

 

Papyrus was in a bad mood. Well, a worse mood then normal. His meeting with Undyne had ended on a bad note because, frankly, he just didn't agree with her. They were discussing what they would do when the next human fell down. Undyne just wanted to slaughter them and harvest their souls, plain and simple. Papyrus, however, said that they should lure the human into a false sense of security, so they could trick them into inviting their friends. The head of the Royal Guard argued that it was too risky and time consuming, but Papyrus said that they could easily take the humans on and that it was worth the risk. All in all, it just ended in broken furniture and two furious monsters.

Papyrus walked through the snowy town with a scowl on his face. No one dared to look at him for more than a few seconds in fear that they would be pounded into dust. He walked towards the forest purposefully. He wanted to check his puzzles and recalibrate them. It always took his mind off of things, and it was a tedious, but calming, activity he enjoyed.

Papyrus kept walking when he all of the sudden a spear with an angry dog face pierced the air next to him. His eyes narrowed. That was Greater Dog's weapon. Who was he fighting and why? He was the leader of the dog pack, and he usually didn't bother to fight monsters himself when he could send other dogs after them. It must be important.

He walked towards the battle curiously. Greater Dog's back was towards him, so he couldn't see who his opponent was. But his question was answered when a flurry of bones hit their target dead on, the armed dog's invincibility having no affect. Papyrus stepped behind a tree, unnoticed.

" _Nyeh heh heh. Well, this should be interesting,_ " the corners of his mouth curving up into a smirk. " _I wonder what they're fighting about. My lazy brother never puts effort into anything, so Greater Dog must've hit a nerve. After this terrible day I've had, I hope I get to see some dust flying. Let's just see how things pan out._ "

Sans' next attack took Greater Dog by surprise, so he didn't even have a chance to dodge it. A decent chunk of his health was already gone. The canine attempted to make a cage of spears around Sans, but he easily dodged it. Greater Dog looked shocked and outraged.

"what? you think i'm just gonna stand there and take it?" he said with a casual shrug accompanied by a shit eating grin.

The dog bared his teeth and growled.

Sans prepared his Gaster Blasters, "you know, with all that talk you've been doing, i expected something a bit...oh, i don't know? stronger? heh. guess you're all bark and no bite."

His Gaster Blasters appeared all around the member of the Royal Guard, and they fired simultaneously. Their lethal beams of magic forming an asterisk around Greater Dog before disappearing and firing at random. His health was down to less than half.

Greater Dog snarled; his fur was singed and burnt off in random patches. His armor charred and fried. Completely forgetting he was supposed to capture Sans, the furious canine formed a wall of dog spears that came rushing at the skeleton.

"You and your idiotic brother are just getting in my way! The sooner I kill you two, the sooner I can become second in command, and then, I can kill Undyne, too!" he barked gleefully.

Sans snorted at the ridiculous plan. He focused on the area behind the spears and easily teleported out of the way. "listen, pal. if you can't even get past me, a "1 hp monster", then you'll never be able to beat undyne or papyrus. and anyhow, i don't really appreciate you calling my brother all those names. you get what i'm saying, _buddy_?" He gathered more bones and turned his opponent's soul blue. "so let's just get to the point."

If Papyrus had eyebrows, they would've been raised, but for right now, he just raised his brow bones. This fight was about Greater Dog insulting him? He silently chuckled in amusement.

"Sans, you're such a loyal little pet," he whispered.

Sans' head whipped around. Was that Papyrus' voice? Greater Dog used his momentary distraction to his advantage, and he sent one big, powerful spear hurtling towards Sans. The skeleton's eye sockets widened, and he blindly teleported away from the attack. He ended up tripping on a stray branch, and his arms flailed around, trying in vain to catch something in the air to break his fall. Sans fell backwards onto a blunt rock and landed in the middle of his thoracic vertebrae. His whole body arched in pain. He heard a nauseating crack as he felt it travel across the back of his ribs and up his spine, and a shout of misery passed through his open mouth. Black spots danced in his vision, and the blinding pain consumed him. His health went down by .99999, and his mind could vaguely recognize that Greater Dog was approaching him.

He raised his spear slowly, as if to savor the moment, "I was originally going to just capture you, but killing you is so much more satisfying."

The dog forcefully brought his spear down to deliver the final blow. With adrenaline coursing through his bones, Sans weakly raised his left arm. Bones suddenly came up from under the ground and pierced through its armor like it was nothing. Greater Dog let out an agonized howl before turning into a pile of dust, his frowning dog spear the only thing left.

"get dunked on," Sans managed gasp out. He used the last of his strength to push himself off of the rock and roll onto the snow. He tried to tap into his magic reserves, but they were _bone_ dry. " _i need to get out of the open, now. even a moldsmal could finish me off._ " The best option would be to teleport away, but he didn't have any magic left. Moving was out of the question; even lifting his head up sent waves of pain down his spine. Besides, even if he could move, he would have to crawl which would leave tracks in the snow that practically shouted "follow this trail and you'll find an injured monster".

"i'm gonna die out here," Sans muttered.

A shadow stepped out from behind a tree, and his anxiety hit him full force. Sans tensed up, for he had no way to save himself. The figure fully stepped out from the shadows, and Sans' jaw dropped.

"boss?" he questioned softly.

"That's quite the predicament you've got yourself into, Sans," he stated, his tall figure towering over his brother.

Stars, he must look so weak right now. "i-i can expla-"

Papyrus cut him off, "No need to. I saw the whole thing." He crossed his arms and peered down at the injured skeleton, not making any move to help him.

Sans felt dread building up in his chest. He really didn't want to do this, but he had no choice. The older brother sighed and looked anywhere but Papyrus. He asked, ashamed, "can...can you help me? pl-please, boss?"

"Yes, yes," he replied, with an irritated tone. But he gave a sly grin, "You owe me, though."

Sans nodded obediently. If Papyrus fixed him up, then Sans would do whatever he wanted him to do. It was the way things worked.

With a snap of his fingers, Sans' soul turned blue, and he let out a pain-filled gasp as he was moved from his spot on the ground and levitated into the air. Papyrus walked back towards Snowdin with Sans floating behind him.

 

* * *

 

The front door opened silently, and Papyrus walked in, shutting it behind him with his magic. Sans was still being supported by his magic, and the taller of the two flipped him over before putting him facedown on the couch.

Papyrus surveyed the damage, "This is going to take a lot of magic, Sans. You better be grateful." With that being said, he took off his gloves and called forth his magic. His hands became surrounded in a red aura. Papyrus reached under Sans' jacket and shirt, and he placed his hands on his brother's cracked back. Sans made a small whimpering sound which was muffled by the couch cushion, but he kept still.

The member of the Royal Guard eased his magic into the injury and let it seep into the cracks. Sans sighed in relief, and his tension melted away. Papyrus kept his hands there, letting his magic do the work. After a little while, however, Sans began to feel _very_ conscious of Papyrus' proximity, and his soul started to pick up its pace, beating faster and faster.

" _no, no, no, no, no. fuck no. not now. he's right there. don't freak out. you shitty, good for nothing soul,_ " Sans panicked. Which, in retrospect, probably wasn't a good idea. In retaliation, his soul beat faster until it was a steady vibration in his chest, making _him_ vibrate, too. And then, oh stars, it started _glowing_. Fucking glowing. Sans closed his eyes and tried to think about shitty things, things that made him depressed, anything to still his soul, really. It was never hard to think of terrible things before, but all he could think about was Papyrus' hands on his bare back, some of his fingers resting in the ridges of his spine, others curled around the back of his ribs. Sans' face turned an embarrassing red, and he buried his face further into the couch cushion.

" _i don't think papyrus notices it. he doesn't seem to be saying anything,_ " Sans thought, relieved a small bit.

However, Papyrus had noticed his brother's flustered state. How could he not when Sans was shaking and glowing? The healing process was pretty much finished, but seeing Sans this riled up was...entertaining to say the least. He wondered how far he could push it.

Papyrus crooked one of his sharp fingers and dragged it lightly over a rib. Sans jolted, and his fingers clenched tightly into fists. He seemed to be trying to get himself under control, but Papyrus wouldn't let him. His hands lit up with magic once again, and he wrapped his fingers around Sans' ribs. He willed his magic to encase the shuddering skeleton's entire ribcage, his magic completely taking control of Sans and owning him.

Sans' pupils rolled into the back of his skull, and he closed his eye sockets blissfully. Stars, he could feel the dominant pulse of Papyrus' magic in his very soul. It wasn't allowing him to have any other thoughts that weren't about his brother, and he was beginning to get extremely needy.

" _he's just healing me. i'm such a disgusting pervert. why is this having so much affect on me? stars, this is torturous!_ " His thoughts were getting jumbled together, and it was taking everything he had in him not to writhe around or make any sound. It was like getting your feet massaged when you're ticklish; it feels good but terrible at the same time. This needed to stop before Sans did something idiotic and fucked things up. Finally, he got his thoughts together enough to stutter out, "b-b-boss, i-i uh th-think i'm good n-now."

"Hmph. Dinner is in half and hour, and you are not going to Grillby's and eating their shit. Do you understand?" Papyrus sent one last wave of magic into Sans for emphasis. Sans quickly nodded and gritted his sharp teeth together as he stifled his moans, and he pressed his face into the couch until he was sure there was going to be an impression of it when he got up.

Papyrus smirked and got up from the couch, putting his gloves back on. He walked towards the kitchen thinking, " _That was definitely interesting, and seeing him so fucked up and obedient was extremely satisfying. He's always so ready to agree to whatever I ask of him. Hmm...what_ couldn't _I ask of him?_ "

 

 

* * *

 

Sans laid on the couch for a solid ten minutes before even attempting to get up. He tried to push himself up into a sitting position, but his arms shook and collapsed under him in exhaustion. Dinner would be ready in twenty minutes, so there was really no point in going upstairs. But Sans needed all the time he could get alone to sort his life out. He dragged himself up the stairs, not teleporting because his magic was still not replenished, and he stepped into his room with a sigh of relief. Familiar territory. So much had changed in the past twelve hours, and Sans was totally overwhelmed. For one, he now owed Papyrus big time for saving his life. Secondly, he killed Greater Dog which would surely make the rest of the dog pack come after him. And last but not least, he felt oddly...empty without Papyrus' magic surrounding him. Sans groaned in frustration as he flopped onto his bed.

"i wish i had someone to vent to," Sans mumbled. Oh wait. He did have someone-or rather something-to vent to. He tried to summon the journal to him, only to forget that he was all out of magic. Sans gave a long suffering sigh as he got out of bed and took out his journal. He sat on the floor, leaning against his mattress, and he started to write.

dear journal. this day has been seriously fucked up...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took waaayyy too long. Thanks for waiting for my slow ass to actually finish this chapter. I hope you liked it, and I'm hoping to get the next chapter up faster. You guys are fabulous as always! Have a great day!


	4. Spaghetti Server

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said I would update sooner? Um...well, just ignore that previous message; that previous me didn't realize how slow and uncreative I am. Seriously though, I AM SO SORRY. Writer's block is a bitch, and if you have any general ideas for the next chapter that would be great thanks!

Sans woke up with a dazed look on his face, and his head was pounding like a drum. He made a move to rub where his temples would be, but he realized he couldn't. He was wrapped up in his sheets like a burrito.

" _wha...what even happened?_ " Sans thought sluggishly.

He tried to think back on what happened the night before, and it all came flooding back.

_~Flashback~_

_After he had finished scribbling away his sinful thoughts in his journal, he glanced at his dresser. Dragging himself over to the dresser drawer, he clumsily opened it and got out his emergency mustard bottle. Grabbing hold of the plastic tube, he opened his mouth and started squirting the yellow condiment into his mouth._

_"fuck it," he growled, quickly getting impatient._

_He ripped the top off of the mustard bottle, tipped his head back, and started chugging it like there was no tomorrow. Sans finished the bottle, making sure to drink the last drop, and he wiped his mouth on the back of his jacket sleeve. He let the bottle fall to the floor carelessly. Almost immediately, Sans felt the effects of the mustard kick in. A light, weightless feeling came over him, and he let a drunk little smile slip over his face._

_The skeleton stumbled over to his mattress and tried to put his hand on it to steady himself. However, he missed and ended up on the carpeted floor. Sans let out a snort and then a chuckle which turned into full blown laughter, suddenly finding the situation hilarious._

_"wow. i guess i got myself into a pretty_ humerus _situation. y'know? like the bone. hehhh~," he chuckled. The carpet in front of him began to blur before he was seeing double. "wooooaaahhhh. easy theerrre head. maybe i should lay down for a bit," he slurred his words together._

_Intending to get ready for bed, he got up and began unsteadily slipping off his jacket and his shoes, swaying on his feet. As his coat fell to the ground, he noticed a tiny tear in the middle of his jacket from where the rock had tore through it. The day he had so desperately been trying to forget was brought to the forefront of his mind, and Sans sighed, resigned and exhausted, his alcoholic high beginning to wearing off._

_He collapsed onto his bare mattress and tried to untangle the ball of sheets laying there. The short monster gave up halfway through, and he decided to just squirm his way into the sheets. He was tangled up in them with only his head poking out, creating a Sans-burrito. Sans closed his eyes. When he was wrapped this tightly in his sheets, it felt like he was surrounded by warmth. If he concentrated hard enough, he could almost feel arms too similar to his brother's wrap securely around him instead of the sheets. It was just his drunken brain playing tricks on him he knew, but...it was nice to pretend, if only for a minute._

_His mind drifted in and out of consciousness until sleep eventually claimed him. Nightmares were there to greet him._

_ ~Flashback  _ _End~_

Sans groaned in misery because _fuck_ his head hurt like hell. He couldn't vomit like most monsters could, but he could definitely feel the queasiness in his soul. He looked up to see the ceiling spinning around and around and around. Sans made a move to get up, but thought better of it.

" _why should i even get up? it's not like i'm gonna be missed by anyone if i don't leave my room. actually, it'd probably be better if i just laid here out of everyone's way,_ " Sans thought.

So he laid there in his burrito of sadness just staring up at the ceiling, not daring to close his eye sockets in fear of having more nightmares. He couldn't have gotten more than an hour of sleep, his night terrors leaving him exhausted.

After what seemed like a few hours, he could distinctly hear the slight creak of the floor as Papyrus got out of bed.

" _holy shit. it's four o'clock? stars, what time did i wake up?_ " Sans wondered. Then he chuckled tiredly, " _probably way too early._ " Sans shifted around in his nest-like structure when he felt one of the stray springs from his mattress brush up against the freshly healed cracks in his back. He yelped softly in surprise. "ah, jeez why is it so..." he mumbled, and he experimentally brushed up against the spring again. "s-sensitive?" he shivered at the weird feeling. It felt like all the nonexistent nerves in his back were on fire. Sans carefully bent his arm back as much as he could in the confined space, and he ran his hand over the back of his spine. He could feel the slight indentations of the cracks where they weren't able to heal anymore, and they were ridiculously sensitive. Sans adjusted his arm back to a more comfortable position and sighed. " _i guess it's just another scar to add to my list. at least it doesn't hurt anymore, but why is it so fucking sensitive?_ " Sans realized something, " _it must've been all that magic papyrus put into me. maybe it had some side effects?_ "

He let out another sigh. " _why do i have so many fucking problems? i wish me and my problems would just disappear. then i wouldn't bother anyone else, and i wouldn't be such a fucking disappointment. maybe if i actually_ tried _to do something...things might get better?_ " Sans thought about it for all of two seconds before chuckling dryly. " _pfft. yeah right. and then papyrus will actually like me, and we'll both live happily ever fucking after in a meadow full of fucking daisies. hah. who am i kidding? something this fucked up and broken like me can't really be fixed. sure, things can be stitched up and glued back together, but that's just a temporary fix. stitches don't prevent more damage, they just patch up existing cracks._ " Sans shrunk in on himself, and he nestled deeper into the sheets. He curled his hands into fists, forearms touching in front of his face, and he buried his head in the crook of his elbows, his chin touching his chest. Sans kept laying in the sheets with his depressing thoughts, no motivation to actually get up and move on with his life. His body felt like lead, and all he wanted to do was lay there until his soul rotted away.

He would've, if a familiar voice hadn't called to him from downstairs, "GET UP! GET UP NOW, YOU MORON! JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT HURT YESTERDAY DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO SLACK OFF! SANS!"

Sans groaned, and he made a pathetic attempt to drag himself out from the ball of sheets before giving up completely. He heard his brother stomping up the stairs, and he curled his body into a fetal position, burrowing into the sheets.

Papyrus slammed the door open, making another dent in the wall.

"Why are you not up?!" Papyrus snarled.

Sans' only response was to burrow deeper into the sheets, causing Papyrus to let out an irritated groan.

He focused on Sans' soul, and encased it with his magic, roughly yanking Sans out of his burrito. Sans was lifted into the air, and he hung limply in the air. His arms and legs dangling uselessly.

Papyrus looked Sans over in surprise and stated bluntly, "You look like shit." It was true. The circles under his brother's eyes were bigger and darker than usual, his overall posture just screamed exhaustion, and his shoulders were slumped in fatigue.

"what? have you never had a bad night before?" Sans snapped before he could stop himself. There was a brief moment of silence before Sans realized what he had blurted out, and he hurriedly apologized, "uh s-sorry, boss. i...i didn't get much sleep la-last night. i didn't mean t-to snap-"

Papyrus' magic gripped Sans' soul a little tighter, warning him that he had crossed into dangerous territory. "You know, Sans, I didn't have to save your sorry ass last night. If it weren't for me, you'd be a pile of **dust** , so watch what you say. You owe me your life."

Sans let out a shaky breath and bowed his head anxiously.

"You're actually going to go to work on time today. Got it?" he said, letting Sans fall to the floor and stumble to keep his balance. Too impatient to wait for Sans' response, Papyrus walked out of Sans' room and went downstairs without him.

The member of the Royal Gaurd walked into the kitchen and scooped out some spaghetti he made a few minutes ago from the pot. He placed it in a bowl for himself and went into the living room to eat. Sans sleepily walked into the kitchen a few seconds later, fully dressed (pretty much just putting his jacket and sneakers back on), and, seeing the pot of spaghetti, his stomach rumbled. He needed something in his stomach other than mustard. Sans got a bowl and a fork out of the cabinet, and he set them on the counter and stood on his tiptoes, struggling to reach the spaghetti server handle poking out of the tall pot. He wasn't sure how much of his magic had returned, and he didn't want to waste it all on levitating a spaghetti server. The tips of his fingers finally reached the black handle, and he wrapped his hand around it victoriously. However, he wasn't tall enough to actually lift it up and scoop spaghetti out of he pot, so he stood there awkwardly on his tiptoes with one hand clasped on the handle for a few seconds before letting it go, frustrated.

"fuck it. damn spaghetti server. why is the pot so fucking tall? ugh, who needs breakfast anyway? i can just get some grillby's later," Sans quietly grumbled.

He was about to walk away when the cursed spaghetti server was surrounded by a red aura, and it magically scooped some spaghetti into his bowl still sitting on the counter.

"Hmph. You really are helpless without me," Papyrus huffed from the doorway.

Sans felt a light blush cover his face, and he bowed his head in embarrassment. "thanks, boss," he mumbled. The short skeleton gratefully took the bowl and the fork off of the counter and made his way towards the couch in the living room. He made sure to sit far away from his brother on the ugly green couch, lest he make a fool of himself again.

Papyrus picked up his fork and started eating. Sans only began to touch his food after he made sure his brother had already started to eat. Papyrus was the boss after all. It was only respectful.

His brother took the remote laying in between them and switched to the MTT channel. Sans took this time to sneak glances at his younger sibling. He sighed. Papyrus looked like a badass just casually sitting on the couch, and damn if he wasn't just a little bit jealous. His battle body was worn with scratches on it, a testament to how many fights he had won. The huge crack running across his left eye socket was intentionally not healed all the way. It was earned in a fight with Undyne that got him his position as second in command, and he wore it like a badge of honor. The tattered scarf wrapped around his neck always had a way of majestically flowing in the wind, even if there was no breeze at all, and his entire outfit gave him an intimidating "don't fuck with me" look.

" _...and then there's me. just a lowly 1 HP monster lucky enough to be counted as his sidekick,_ " Sans suddenly didn't find his breakfast very appetizing anymore.

Papyrus noticed that his brother had stopped eating and was just staring off into space, and he cleared his throat. His brother snapped out of it and looked at Papyrus confusedly.

"Eat," he commanded. "I didn't patch you up just for you to die of starvation, and I won't have you wasting my delicious spaghetti."

Sans sighed, and he opened his mouth and put the pasta into his mouth mechanically. After a few bites, however, his stomach seemed to remember how hungry it was, and soon he was shoveling the food into his mouth like it would disappear at any moment.

Papyrus rolled his eye sockets in exasperation (well, as best as he could being a skeleton and all), and he finished his pasta with much more self-control. Sans finished his breakfast too and got up from the couch.

He headed towards the door before turning back toward Papyrus, "erm. aren't you comin', boss?"

"I have to do the laundry today. Go on without me," Papyrus lied, but Sans didn't need to know that.

"alright, boss," Sans replied with a shrug of his shoulders, and he headed out the front door.

Papyrus grinned. He collected the dirty dishes Sans left on the couch and put them in the sink. Once that was done, he made his way towards his brother's room. He entered the, once more, messy room, "Seriously? How the hell does he manage to get it dirty this fast? I cleaned it two fucking days ago! Ugh, he's such a fucking slob." He stepped over more dirty socks and trash, and then he kicked back the carpet and levitated the journal into his waiting hands. He flipped to the latest page:

dear journal. this day has been seriously fucked up. for starters, i killed greater dog which probably means the whole dog pack is going to be after my ass. heh.-

Papyrus growled in irritation. They better not fuck with his brother. He just finished healing him, and if Sans got hurt again, all that magic he used on him would be for naught. Not to say that he couldn't do it all over again; he had more than enough magic.

Suddenly, Papyrus remembered that he had a Royal Guard meeting next week. He groaned; the pack was going to be such an annoyance to deal with. Papyrus was mentally preparing for the bitching that would ensue, and if any one of them had a problem, they could complain to his face. He gave an agitated sigh. Getting back to the task on hand, he continued reading.

-i wasn't the one who started the fight though. you see, greater dog was planning on capturing me, so he could blackmail my brother into stepping down from second in command in the royal guard.-

" _Really? I knew Greater Dog wasn't that bright, but that was just fucking stupid,_ " Papyrus thought.

-the only problem was, in order for blackmail to work, they have to take something the monster actually values. greater dog obviously didn't do much thinking when he confronted me. i mean, stars, papyrus cares more about his spaghetti than he cares about me. and who could blame him really? i'm just some idiotic slob.-

His brow bones furrowed in confusion. Was Sans' self-esteem really this low? Not that it concerned him, but now Papyrus' curiosity was piqued. And he wanted to get to the root of this problem. It was like a puzzle waiting to be solved.

-anyhow, i was just going to teleport away, but then he started to insult papyrus. _how dare he?_ my brother is the best damn monster in this shitty hell hole, and anyone who says otherwise is as good as dust. so of course, i had to set him straight.-

Papyrus gave a smug smirk. He didn't know he had instilled this much loyalty in his brother.

-little did i know, papyrus was watching the whole thing for stars knows how long. in short, i ended up busting my back up real bad, and i had to ask papyrus for help like a pathetic pussy. so now i owe him a life debt.-

" _And what should I do with that life debt? Surely, it'll come in handy later. But until then, I can just enjoy hanging it over Sans' head,_ " he decided.

-to make matters worse, papyrus had his bare hands all over my back when he was healing me. stars, his touch drives me crazy...and i can't help it. it shouldn't because for _fucks_ sake i'm his brother. but i'm such a sick, selfish, disgusting little fuck, and i can't control my needy, unwanted, repulsive emotions.-

" _I might've went a little overboard on the magic last night. Oops,_ " Papyrus thought without a hint of regret. " _Sans said that he was needy...but that couldn't be more than a need for affection right? Could my brother actually have a crush on m-no. No that's ridiculous. I'm probably reading too much into this,_ " he assured himself.

-papyrus is so cool, and what does he get in return? a useless brother who has more fucking problems than asgore has flowers. i don't even know why or how he puts up with me. i wish i could at least be useful in some way to him, and despite what my brother might think, i always try to listen to him and do what he tells me. it's just hard to keep it together when you're breaking inside.-

Now he was _definitely_ interested. It seemed that his brother was slowly falling apart, and that probably should've upset him at least a tiny bit. But all Papyrus felt was possessiveness. He wanted to be the one to put Sans back together, so he could shape him into whatever he wanted Sans to be. " _I should keep him close, so I can be there when everything falls apart,_ " Papyrus thought slyly and resumed reading.

-so i usually push my feelings and problems aside, so no one else has to deal with them. but sometimes...i wish, just for one day, that i did have someone real to talk to. i mean, i wouldn't ask that of anybody, but i wish someone would be willing to anyway. heh. jeeze, i sound like a weak little baby bones writing all this mushy shit. i should probably go to bed.

It ended there.

Papyrus shut the journal with thoughts and cunning schemes whirling around his head. He was honestly quite excited. Nothing like this had happened in a long time that required him to manipulate and play with other people in such a way.

He put the journal away and covered it back up with the carpet. He remembered that he had to leave the house attend to his Royal Guard duties. He walked downstairs and headed out the front door with wicked thoughts and ill intentions filling his mind.

 

* * *

 

It was almost time to start heading home. Sans looked at the steadily setting sun with relief. The day hadn't been terrible, just tiresome. He hadn't run into any monsters either, so that was good. His hands were stuffed in his pockets like usual, and he decided to walk home instead of using his slowly replenishing magic to teleport there. Their home wasn't that far away, anyway.

"i wonder where papyrus is. probably doing some really cool royal guard stuff," he mumbled.

Once he arrived, Sans walked up to the front door and entered the house.

"boss? you here yet?" he called out. "guess not," he muttered.

The skeleton walked up to his room intending to just sit up there and feel bad about himself. However, when he went into the room, the door quickly shut close with a bang, and he heard someone smash the lock in.

In front of him was Dogamy, Dogaressa, Annoying Dog, Lesser Dog, and Doggo looking at him like he was a fresh piece of meat.

Dogamy and Dogaressa spoke up, "Well, well if it isn't the dog killer. (You good for nothing dog murderer! Our revenge will be sweet!)"

" _oh shit._ "

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter! If you have any ideas for the next chapter, please comment them! I would love to hear your thoughts, and it would definitely help me get the ball rolling a lot faster. Thanks for your reviews, kudos, bookmarks, and for subscribing!


	5. A Long Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this up earlier than I usually do (if only by a few hours), and I'm proud of my slow self lol. Thank you guys so so much for reviewing, the kudos, and all that jazz. I say it in every chapter, but I really do mean it so thank you! I hope you enjoy!

Dogamy and Dogaressa swung their axes from opposite directions towards Sans's skull.

"Disgusting dog destroyer! (I can still smell his dust on you!)" they exclaimed.

He teleported out of the way only for Lesser Dog to lunge at him with his jaws wide open, full of sharpened fangs. Sans's eye quickly lit up with a burning crimson light, and he hastily brought his left arm up. A wall of blue bones erupted from the floor, and Lesser Dog smashed into them with a growl.

"(Snarl! Snarl!)" he, quite obviously, snarled.

The dogs had him surrounded. They stood in a circle around him, his small room forcing Sans to use a limited type of attacks. He couldn't use his Gaster Blasters, or the whole house would collapse. If he could just concentrate, then he would be able to teleport far enough awa-

"I saw you moving! You were definitely moving!" Doggo said quickly.

Fast as lightning, Doggo launched his blue swords at Sans. Equally as fast, Sans froze up and let the weapons pass through him with an unpleasant shiver; it always felt weird when blue attacks phased through him. He summoned a plethora of sharp bones, and he sent them hurtling towards Doggo faster then he could smell them. They hit their target dead on.

"WHERE'D YOU GO?! YOU WEREN'T NOT NOT MOVING!" he barked out.

Sans heard a noise behind him, and he quickly snapped his head around in time to see Dogamy and Dogaressa send a circle of white and blue hearts flying at him. Sans teleported through one of the circles and stood still at the right times for the other one. Lesser Dog viciously chucked spears at him, and he raised his bones to block them.

Doggo threw more swords at him. Freeze. Dogaressa swung her axe towards his ribcage. Dodge. Dogamy sent another pattern of hearts at him. Teleport. And, fortunately, Annoying Dog just laid there panting, much to the other dogs' annoyance.

"Annoying Dog, why are you not helping?! (We've seen the weird stuff you do! Do it now!)" the dog couple yelled, but Annoying Dog just laid there with a dopey smile on his face. Dogressa and Dogamy just growled and shook their heads in aggravation as they continued to fight.

The pack started to get frustrated at his dodging skills, and then, instead of taking turns to fight, they all fought at once. Sans couldn't keep attacking anymore; all he could do was teleport and block the never-ending swarm of attacks. The circle of canines formed a new strategy, and they started cycling in between spots. When Dogamy would run at him with an axe, Doggo would come in the opposite direction and try to stab him. Sans would dodge or teleport out of the way as best as he could in the middle of the circle, and the dogs would just end up switching spots.

Dogaressa and Lesser Dog lunged at him, and they too switched places. Attack. Dodge. Switch. Attack. Dodge. Switch. A blurry, furry figure jumped at him. Sans sidestepped it, and sweat made of magic dripped down the side of his face. He could hear his soul pounding in his head, and he could feel his magic pumping through his body. Another dog swiped at him from behind, and he raised a wall of bones to block it. His attacker took damage and let out a whine before wall jumping off the bones and into an open spot.

" _shitshitshittyshitshit_ ," Sans cursed desperately. " _i'm so dead. i'm so dead. i can't keep this up much longer; my magic still isn't fully restored. if i don't do something quick, i might_ bite the dust." he couldn't help but chuckle a bit, but it was cut off when a spear flew inches past his face. " _okay. i_ _should probably get my priorities straight._ "

A thought came to his mind as he dodged yet another sword, " _will...will papyrus miss me if i die?...heh. stars, what am i thinking? of course he won't. he'll probably be more relieved than anything._ " With self-loathing thoughts beginning to cloud his mind, Sans's dodging started to get sloppier and more careless. " _will he even notice i was gone?_ " Lesser Dog came close enough to make a tear in his jacket with his teeth. " _how long will it take him to realize his failure of a brother is dead?_ " A sword was violently thrown through the gap between his radius and ulna, tearing a slit in his jacket before sinking into the wall behind him. " _why should i even try?_ " Sans hesitated to dodge for a second too long, and he stumbled slightly. Dogaressa launched herself at Sans, going in for the kill.

Sans caught the movement at the very last second, and in the blink of an eye, she was slammed into the wall by Sans's attack. The weapons pinned her to the wall by her clothes, and pointy sharp bones surrounded her, daring Dogaressa to move from her position.

All of the sudden, the door was torn of its hinges, and Papyrus's towering figure stood in the doorway. All the dogs instantly stopped what they were doing, and they cowered when they saw who had arrived. Sans couldn't help but feel nervous as well, and he felt his brother's magic roll off of him in waves. Papyrus only displayed this much power when he wanted to intimidate someone or he was seriously pissed. Probably both.

"WHAT. THE FUCK. ARE YOU DOING. IN. MY. FUCKING. HOUSE?!" His voice was laced with disgust, and his glowing red eye sockets promised murder. Sans shuddered; if he was on the receiving end of that death stare, he would be an absolute mess.

Papyrus scowled menacingly, and he only seemed to get more pissed off with each word, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I SHOULDN'T HAVE YOU KICKED OFF OF THE ROYAL GUARD, OR WHY I SHOULDN'T JUST TURN YOU ALL INTO DUST WHERE YOU STAND!"

Dogamy looked over at Dogaressa desperately, and thinking quickly, Dogamy snatched up Annoying Dog from his position on the floor and grabbed a matchbox from his cloak. He hastily stroked the match and lit Annoying Dog's tail on fire.

Sans' eyes widened in alarm as he realized what was happening, and in his shock, the bones he had keeping Dogaressa in place fell to the ground. On instinct, Sans teleported to his brother, and he wrapped his arms desperately around Papyrus's armored chest, burrowing his forehead into his battle body. In a flash of red magic, Sans teleported them completely out of town and near the snow poffs, using up the last of his magic.

An enormous explosion rocked the house as the dog blew up...but somehow didn't die?

A cloud of fire and smoke consumed the portion of house that Sans's room was in, and debris flew in every direction.

Papyrus saw flames and ash in the shape of a mushroom rise above their house in the distance.

Sans seemed to realize that he was still clinging onto him, and he instantly let go of Papyrus as if burned. He flinched and looked up at his brother fearfully, half expecting to be hit for his unwanted touch, but Papyrus wasn't paying the slightest bit attention to him. He ran as fast as his long legs could carry him, which was incredibly fast, towards the house, and he skidded to a stop in front of their burning home.

Being the quick thinker that he was, he immediately thought of a solution. Papyrus concentrated on the sink in their kitchen and swiftly tore it off the pipes and smashed it through the ceiling and the carpet. He flicked his hand aside impatiently, dismissively throwing the sink somewhere out of the way. Next, he concentrated on the detached pipes that water was spurting out of. He twisted his hand that was surrounded by a red aura, and the pipe bent to his will. A much bigger fountain of water broke free, and Papyrus used his magic once more to increase the pressure of the water bursting from the pipes. From his position on the ground, Papyrus could see the water burst through the hole he made in the ceiling, and start to put out the blazing flames. He then proceeded to bend and stretch the pipes, making a makeshift hose, and after a few minutes, the fire was completely out. Papyrus let out a small sigh of relief.

However, as he surveyed the ruined section of the house, his relief was replaced with fury. His clawed hands curled into fists by his side, and bystanders were watching warily as his expression morphed into something truly frightening.

Sans came running towards him. With his hands on his knees, he panted, "boss, did you put the fire..." Sans trailed off, noticing the dark, murderous look on his brother's face.

Papyrus was just staring at their ruined house, and he spoke in a deadly, uncharacteristically quiet voice, "The next time I see those cowardly _mutts_ , I'll make sure they're nothing but dust between my fingers." His magic flared dangerously, ready to destroy anything within a one-hundred mile radius, and his eyes were burning red with a need to kill.

Sans noticed the crowd of monsters standing around and watching them, whispering things to each other behind their hands. He glanced at his brother who was still lost in his dark thoughts, and he quietly, and anxiously, cleared his throat to get his brother's attention. When that failed, he lightly nudged Papyrus' hand with his shoulder.

Papyrus seemed to finally snap out of it, and his cold gaze swept towards the crowd. "Well?! Are you just going to stand there and gape, or do you want to end up like dust too?!" Papyrus snarled, and he summoned razor sharp bones, pointing them threateningly at the residents of Snowdin. Monsters quickly averted their eyes and started to disperse.

Papyrus's scowl grew deeper as he walked towards the house, and Sans hurried after him nervously. His brother slammed the door open with more force than necessary, and Sans cringed. The water had flooded the whole downstairs, so everything was soaking wet. The pipe was still spouting out water, and Papyrus's mood just seemed to darken as he used his magic to stop the water.

Sans shifted around nervously. He really didn't want to be on the receiving end of his brother's bad mood, and he felt so uncomfortable standing there in the tense atmosphere.

Papyrus eventually spoke up, "Nyeh. We'll need to start rebuilding the house immediately, and the burnt down portion of our house leaves us vulnerable to attacks. I'm also going to have to deal with those filthy mutts soon; the sooner I deal with them, the sooner the message will get across that nobody fucks with me and gets away with it." He suddenly turned to Sans, "I need you to teleport to the Shopkeeper and steal some wooden planks and some nails. We don't need everyone seeing that our house is missing some of its walls."

The magic-drained skeleton flinched, and he avoided Papyrus's stare, "uh, a-actually, boss. i'm, uh, i'm all o-out of magic." The last part of the sentence coming out as a whisper.

Papyrus pinched the spot where his nose bridge would be, and he gave an aggravated sigh. "Well, I guess we'll just have to wait until tomorrow and hope we don't get attacked in our sleep." With that, he walked to his, surprisingly undamaged, room, not even sparing him a second glance.

Sans stared after Papyrus with a broken expression, his eye lights gone. "way to go," he whispered bitterly. He walked towards his room to wallow in his sadness before he remembered that his room was gone. Another thought came to him. Where would he sleep? He supposed he could sleep on the couch, but he would honestly be better off on the floor. Both were soaking wet, but at least the floor was somewhat comfortable.

" _i don't have any blankets or pillows either._ " He sighed tiredly, " _whatever. it's not anything less than i deserve._ "

Sans turned around halfway up the stairway and went back downstairs. His sneakers squelched in the damp carpet, and his face scrunched up in a grimace. Did he really want to lay in the wet carpet all night? Maybe he should just sleep on the table or something...

"Sans, just get over here," Papyrus huffed in resignation from atop the stairs.

Said monster jumped in shock at his brother's unexpected appearance. After a second or two, he registered what Papyrus had said, and he started to panic at the prospect of sharing a room with the monster he was crushing on. If he shared a room with his brother, he'd risk fucking up their relationship even more than it already was, and he really didn't think he could handle that.

"th-that's okay, boss. i-i wouldn't wanna b-bother you," he nervously answered, scratching at his palms from the inside of his pockets.

"That wasn't a question, Sans," Papyrus replied coolly.

Anxiety began to take ahold of Sans's thoughts again, and he scrambled to make up more excuses, "n-no, boss. i-i'm good, really. um..."

"You always do have a way of making my patience run thin," he said with an exasperated growl. Papyrus let his magic encase his brother's soul, and he forcefully levitated Sans into the air over to where he was standing. Then, he opened the door to his room with his free hand and walked in. He put Sans down on the floor and locked the door behind him.

Sans shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to touch anything in fear of ruining it. Everything in his brother's room was organized and had its own little spot, and he didn't want to disturb any of it. He watched as Papyrus walked over to his bed.

It used to be in the shape of a race car a long time ago, but Papyrus had deemed it "too childish". Now, it was a queen sized bed with a black headboard and black sheets, and the comforter and pillow cases were a blood red, the underside of the comforter black as well, making the bed look particularly cool when it was made.

The short skeleton looked down, not really knowing what to do with himself. He noticed his still damp sneakers, and he hurriedly took them off and set them neatly by the door. Sans stepped towards the bed, but then, he stopped himself, " _am i allowed on the bed? it does look pretty clean, and i don't want to dirty it. he never said i could get on the bed. what if i assume the wrong thing, and he gets mad at me?_ " He flexed his boney toes, feeling the plush, gold rug underneath them. " _it actually wouldn't be too bad to sleep on this rug,_ " he noted.

Papyrus was already on the bed, and he raised a brow bone at Sans just standing there looking lost. Figuring out what was wrong, he rolled his eye sockets, "You're allowed on the bed, Sans."

His brother flushed and nodded quickly. He took off his jacket and carefully put it near Papyrus's bed. Facing the tall bed that came up to Sans's chest, he scrambled to get up onto it. When he finally plopped onto the bed, he was amazed to feel how soft it was. The mattress practically molded to fit his bones, and he let out a sigh of contentment.

"wow," he breathed out. Sans could already feel his eye sockets start to close on their own.

"Nyeh heh. Much better than sleeping on the floor, yes?" Papyrus said smugly.

Sans nodded reluctantly, "you were right as always, boss." He turned on his side to face his brother. Sans froze when he realized how close he was to him, Papyrus's back was towards him, and he couldn't help but feel a little aroused by the pajamas his brother was wearing. Papyrus was wearing a casual, red t-shirt that exposed his clavicle, and his black pajama pants hung far too low on his hip bones, making Sans want to run his fingers along them. He forcibly turned himself around. " _haha. yeah, no. not happening. just have some self-control you sick fuck._ "

He scooted himself to the end of the bed and got under the covers, and he heard Papyrus do the same thing. Sans sighed deeply, trying to get his thoughts under control. He shuddered; the bed smelt like Papyrus: herbs, fresh snow, and a hint of cologne. Sans snuggled into the covers more, and he buried his face into the pillow. His body unconsciously relaxed, and his mind began to get hazy with sleep.

He imagined Papyrus pinning him against a wall, holding his hands captive above his head. His brother's deft hands would slither up and under his shirt, tracing the sensitive cracks on his back with clawed fingers. He would moan out Papyrus's name, only for his brother to swallow them in a demanding kiss, and his pupils would roll into the back of his head in bliss. The taller skeleton would release his mouth just to growl out "Mine" over and over again. As Papyrus would dive back in for another kiss, he would murmur, "I love y-"

Sans's eyes snapped open with a shocked jolt. His soul was starting to glow again, and it was beating against his rib cage fiercely. He pulled at the collar of his shirt to look down and see his soul oozing a bit. He was sweating now, and his breaths were coming out in quiet gasps.

" _stop hyperventilating. i don't even need to breathe. why can't i just stop torturing myself?!" He started to sweat even more, and his entire body was shaking. "fuckity fuck he's right next to me, and i'm fantasizing about him fucking me._ " Yet, somehow, that made the situation all the more arousing. Suddenly, Sans felt magic involuntarily building up in his mouth. " _no. no. please if there are any gods in this world, i'm begging you,_ " he pleaded desperately. But it seemed that the gods weren't on his side, and the poor skeleton felt his red tongue slowly form in his mouth. He clenched his teeth tightly together and was tempted to groan at the horror of it all.

It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm going tibia honest, it wasn't my best chapter, but it had to be posted to move the story along. Hopefully, you like it more than I do. Have a nice day!


	6. Guard Me, Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make this chapter better than the last one, so I hope you like it! Your reassurances from the last chapter made me think that maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought it was? Regardless, thank you for your support; it really keeps me going! Enough rambling, I present to you, the chapter!

_Idiot._

_Disgusting._

_Worthless._

_Weak._

_Annoying._

_Unnecessary._

_Burden._

_Slob._

_Moron._

_Lazy._

_Unwanted._

_Disappointment._

_Failure._

_I wish you were never my brother-_

Sans's eye sockets snapped open as he bolted upright in a bed that wasn't his. His left eye was ablaze with red magic, and he was sweating bullets. He looked around confusedly for a few seconds; his head was repeatedly turning left and right in a disorientated panic, not recognizing his surroundings, before remembering that he was in his brother's room.

The smol skeleton whimpered quietly and hugged his knees. He closed his eyes in an attempt to block the light coming from his eye socket, so he wouldn't disturb the monster sleeping soundly next to him. Sans buried his face in his bony knees as he tried to get his breathing under control.

" _keep it together. keep it together. i can't wake up papyrus. i can't wake up papyrus,_ " he chanted in his head like it was the only thing holding him together.

His entire frame was shaking in exhaustion, and his hands were locked so tightly together he was sure his bones were going to crack.

" _i have to get out of here before i bother papyrus,_ " Sans thought as he shakily hopped off the tall bed. However, the second his bare feet made contact with the gold rug, the floor let out a loud creak that instantly stopped Sans in his tracks. He heard the sheets shifting. He slowly turned around and peered up at his brother who was, thankfully, still asleep, but now, he was spread-eagle on the bed, making it impossible for Sans to get back on it whether he wanted to or not.

Getting back to the task at hand, he slowly crept on the balls of his feet (well, the best he could when he was shaking like a leaf) towards the door. Every time the floor creaked, he flinched, expecting his brother to wake up at any moment. After taking more agonizingly slow steps, he finally reached the door, and Sans silently sighed in relief. With still trembling hands, he wrapped one around the wooden doorknob and attempted to open it. The knob twisted right a little bit, but stopped; it was locked.

Sans's shoulders slumped in defeat, " _shit. papyrus locked it._ " Hand still resting on the doorknob, he leaned his forehead on the door and closed his eyes tiredly, and he let out a slow, unsteady breath.

He weighed his options. He couldn't teleport out of the room because, while some of his magic was replenished, most of it was still gone. His only option, really, was to stay in here until Papyrus unlocked it.

Resigned to his fate, the tired skeleton walked over to the rug and practically collapsed onto the floor and curled up into a ball. The rug's long, soft fibers surrounded him, his weight forcing the fibers under him to lie flat. He laid there for what felt like forever as he waited for his body to stop shaking, and the tremors eventually died down to an occasional twitch every now and then. Sans felt his eye sockets begin to droop.

His head jerked as he forced them open, " _no. i've...i've gotta stay awake. if i fall asleep, then i'll just have more nightmares…_ " Yet, even as the thought entered his mind, he was starting to drift off. Sans made one last ditch effort to stay awake, but his nightmares dug their claws into him and dragged him into unconsciousness, where they lay waiting.

 

* * *

 

_Dogamy looked over at Dogaressa desperately, and thinking quickly, Dogamy snatched up Annoying Dog from his position on the floor and grabbed a matchbox from his cloak. He hastily stroked the match and lit Annoying Dog's tail on fire._

_Sans' eyes widened in alarm as he realized what was happening, and in his shock, the bones he had keeping Dogaressa in place fell to the ground. On instinct, Sans-_

_BOOM. Flames engulfed the entire room, and Sans was sent flying into a corner. He covered his face with outstretched arms, and he curled into a ball, bracing himself for his impending death. However, as the smoke cleared, he was miraculously still alive._

_The room was in ruins, and the walls were completely blown away except for the small corner Sans had been in._

_He coughed as he felt some debris uncomfortably tickle his ribs. Wait a second, where was his-_

_"papyrus? papyrus!" he called out. Sans looked around the destroyed the room, his panic escalating. His eye lights hastily darted around the room as he searched for someone that wasn't there. "c-c'mon, papyrus. this…this isn't funny." Sans's breathing sped up as he started to hyperventilate. "you-you've had your fun. you g-got me, b-boss! you can come o-out now. s-stop. please. this isn't funny anymore. p-please just-" his voice cut off as he saw a pile of dust on the burnt floor._

_The tears he had been holding in spilled down his face only to be replaced by more. "no," Sans whispered desperately. "nonononononono. no! this can't be happening. this can't be happening," he shook his head furiously as he tried in vain to convince himself everything was fine. Sans stared at the pile of dust at his feet uncomprehendingly._

_After a few minutes of blank staring, it all sunk in. He mechanically dropped to his knees and looked at the dust in anguish. Finally, he broke down. "p…papyrus. papyrus. papyrus! PAPYRUS!" he screamed in agony, and sobs wracked his small frame. "why?! why him?! stars, anyone but him." Sans buried his head in his hands as he took quick shuddering breaths, and dark thoughts began to creep into the corners of his mind, "how-how could i just sit there curled up in a ball in the corner like a fucking coward?! i could've done something! but no, i just had to lay there like the pathetic worm that i am. how could i choose to protect myself instead of my brother?!" His sharp fingers clawed at his skull desperately, leaving marks, "damn it. fucking damn it! i'm such a failure! i never do anything right!"_

_Sans let his hands fall away from his face and land on the floor on either side of his brother's dust. More tears of self-hatred streamed down his face and fell onto the grey, lifeless dust, the red making little wells in the dust. The longer he stared at the dust, the more his despair tortuously ate away at him, and a realization hit him. "t-this…this is all my fault. i did this to him. he's dead because of me. i should've been the one that died! why couldn't i have been faster? stronger? better? not such a fuck-up? what's wrong with me?!" Sans dug his claws into the burnt carpet so hard that the tips of some of his fingertips broke off. He ignored the pain. " **i hate myself.** i hate myself so fucking much," his voice broke at the end of the last sentence._

_After pathetically sobbing some more, he unsteadily took off his jacket, and with shaking hands, he gently scooped the dust up and onto the jacket, not missing a spec. Sans felt nauseous. He could feel the dust sift through his fingers, some of it getting stuck in his joints, and his stomach was turning as he stared at his dust covered hands._

_"His dust is on your hands," a cruel voice whispered from the shadows._

_"You're a no good freak," hissed another._

_"It's your fault. All your fault."_

_"He's gone forever."_

_The tormented skeleton pressed his hands to where his ears would be, trying to block out the voices. But they continued relentlessly._

_"Your brother protected you, and look how you repaid him."_

_"He'll never get to achieve his goals."_

_"He'll never be a master chef."_

_"He'll never be captain of the Royal Guard."_

_"He'll never see the sun."_

_"You'll never see him."_

_There was a pain blooming in his chest now, spreading throughout his entire being. It was pressing on his soul, and his soul quivered, as if it was going to crack and break under the pressure._

_"Maybe he could've come to care about you a small bit. Maybe he would've told you how much he loved you," taunted a particularly cruel voice._

_Sans's breath came out in breathless gasps, and he shook his head violently, trying to get rid of the terrible voices all around him._

_"stop. stop it!" a sob lodged its way in his throat. "y-you're wrong! he doesn't l-love me! he never did, and he never would've!"_

_"You don't know that. And now, you never will."_

_The skeleton's skull twisted into a tortured expression filled with despair, "shut up! shutupshutupshutup! You don't know anything about me! So just SHUT UP!"_

_The voices only chuckled in cold amusement, "Oh Sans, we know more about you than you know about yourself."_

_Wicked laughter seemed to come from all around him, mocking him. He leaned on his forearms and knees, protecting his brother's remains from his darkness. The shadows swirled in a tornado-like formation around Sans, closing in._

_He tensed up as if thinking about fighting back, but instead, he just bowed his head in resignation. He had nothing else to live for._

_He felt his soul begin to crack._

_The darkness lashed out at him from every angle._

_" **You dirty brother killer** -_

-Sans was jostled awake by a pissed looking Papyrus. He was in the air, held up by only the hand grasping the back of his shirt, like someone would hold a puppy by their scruff.

Sans's chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to reestablish his surrounds. His eye sockets were empty, and he was looking at Papyrus like he might disappear at any minute.

"p-papyrus?" Sans questioned in a small, fearful voice as if he wasn't quite sure he wanted to know the answer.

"You were having one of your nightmares," Papyrus explained flatly, his mouth turning down in irritation.

"i-i...," he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. The sheer amount of emotions running through him were too overwhelming, and he couldn't stop the tears that rolled down his cheekbones. Finally, Sans broke down. His shoulders heaved as he sobbed uncontrollably, and he brought his trembling hands up to cover his face in shame. "i...i thought," he gave another terrified sob, "i thought you were g-gone. y-you were d-dust between my fingers." Sans looked up at his brother with quivering pinpricks of white light in his eye sockets, a haunted expression on his face, and tears continued to flow down his face steadily, "and it was _all my fault_. i k-killed you. you-i couldn't-wouldn't-" The skeleton broke off and clawed at his chest with both hands, where his soul had begun to dim and crack painfully.

Papyrus grimaced awkwardly. He didn't exactly know what to do in these situations. He hated not knowing something. Sans continued to clutch his ribcage and hastily wipe away his tears, only for them to reappear just as quickly. The taller skeleton sighed in frustration. The crying needed to stop now. It was just so weak and disgusting to look at, and Papyrus was quickly getting impatient. He had woken up at around 2:00 AM (early even for him) to Sans thrashing around on his rug of all places, and he had had to pick the panicked monster up and shake him around to get him to wake up. So, understandably, he was in no mood for Sans's shit.

His eyes narrowed, and he shook Sans's red shirt to get his attention. Said skeleton swung back and forth in midair for a few seconds, and he gave a little hiccup before looking up at Papyrus. His eye sockets widened fearfully as a terrifying realization dawned on him.

"i-is this just a-another n-nightmare? am i g-going to l-lose you in th-this one t-too? stars, i-i can't...i can't do it a-again. ican'tican'tican'tican'tican't," he muttered over and over again, looking at the rug beneath him and shaking his head frantically back and forth.

"SANS!" Papyrus snapped, "I'm still here, you numbskull! Now, stop crying this instance!"

But Sans's mind was still lost in his nightmares. "i f-failed. i couldn't s-save you. i'm a shitty b-brother," he was staring at his hands, seeing something Papyrus couldn't, "i sh-should've died i-instead. should've...should've p-protected you." Magical red tears were falling onto Sans's hands.

Papyrus growled. He obviously needed to switch tactics because talking was getting him nowhere. He almost considered just dropping Sans and walking out the door. But no, he wouldn't give up that easily; the Great Papyrus never gives up on a puzzle!

An idea came to him. With his hand that wasn't holding his brother up, he firmly pressed his palm to Sans's head, and Papyrus started roughly petting Sans. He lightly raked his claws along the smaller skeleton's skull repeatedly. "Calm down," he commanded with a growl.

Sans immediately stilled and let his hands drop to his side. He started to slowly relax, his breathing becoming steadier, and his tears stopped altogether. He began to come back to the present, realizing that he wasn't in another nightmare, and his shaking ceased. There was a pleasant hum traveling throughout his body, washing away his previous terrible emotions. Sans leaned into the touch, content, and his soul started to gl-. Then, Papyrus stopped. He opened his eye sockets, nearly letting out a whine of disappointment. Before he could dwell on his feeling of loss, he fell to the ground with a thud. The rug cushioned his fall, and he landed on his chest, not taking any damage, luckily.

"Now that you've gotten your shit together, we're going back to sleep. I still have two more hours until I usually wake up, and I'm not breaking out of my routine for you," the younger skeleton stated and proceeded to get back into bed and under the covers.

Sans sighed and rolled over onto his back. He tried to recreate the SANSation of Papyrus grazing his fingertips along his head, hoping it would be enough to drive away the nightmares.

Papyrus huffed in agitation, and he used his magic to lift Sans up onto the bed next to him. His brother let out a small shout of surprise, and Papyrus just stated irritably, "You're not sleeping on the floor. I need to keep you close in case you have more of your annoying nightmares. Now go to sleep." With that, his closed his eyes, facing away from Sans. The short skeleton got under the sheets of his brother's bed once more.

It was weird, how all his dark thoughts just went away with a few simple touches. The fact that Papyrus was willing to touch trash like him just to calm him down had a warm, happy feeling spread through his soul, despite how Sans tried to stop it. Stars, his brother really was the coolest. Feeling much better than before, Sans closed his eye sockets hoping that maybe, just maybe, his brother could guard him against his nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this chapter didn't really move the plot along that much, but I needed to write some fontcest fluff (as little as there was). Thanks for reading my chapter!


	7. Too Much Mustard and an Unwanted Grillby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO FUCKING SORRY. Okay, here's what happened: I went on a cruise, and, for some reason, I thought they would have wifi. Obviously, they didn't, so I went three days without checking my email, responding to reviews, or posting a new chapter. I wasn't being a bitch a holding out on you guys, I swear. I'm really sorry. 
> 
> Anyway, Vellicious drew this fantastic fan art for my story (which is insane by the way)! It's WAY better than what I could ever do, and I'm really grateful for it! Here's their tumblr and deviantart!:
> 
> Tumblr: http://vellicious-idioticus.tumblr.com/post/142328847962/drew-these-sketches-based-off-this-fanfic-that-i
> 
> Deviantart: http://vellicious.deviantart.com/art/Journal-Underfell-601310196?ga_submit_new=10%253A1459912229&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1&ga_recent=1
> 
> Thank you for all the reviews last chapter and for being patient with me!
> 
> WARNING: THERE WILL BE MILD SEXUAL ASSAULT IN THIS CHAPTER
> 
> I do not think sexual assault is okay or ever will be okay. Sexual assault is a crime. Don't do it. If you're in a situation where you're being sexually assaulted, please tell someone. Thank you.

 

Papyrus woke up at precisely 4:00 AM. He was going to get out of bed and start his morning, but a certain someone was blocking his way. He levitated his brother up with a snap of his fingers and got off the bed, passing under Sans before dropping him back onto the covers. Sans woke with a jolt.

"You had no more nightmares, I presume?" Papyrus questioned coolly.

He was confused for a moment before his memories came flooding back from last night. He began to sweat, and he started stuttering out apologies, "shit. i'm s-sorry, boss. i'm s-so sorry. i-i'm such a c-crybaby. i d-didn't m-mean to b-be s-so w-weak in front of y-you. stars, i-"

"If you start crying again, I'm kicking you out," Papyrus interrupted coldly.

Sans flinched from his position lying on the bed, his whole body curling inwards.

" _please don't hate me._ "

"sorry, b-boss," he murmured meekly.

"You know, you don't have to get up yet," Papyrus stated with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Sans said nothing, and he looked to his right, facing the wall, where Papyrus had slept. Suddenly, sleep didn't seem too appealing without his brother lying beside him. For the first time in years, Sans had had a dreamless sleep, and he wasn't too keen on falling back asleep with the chance that he might have to face his nightmares.

"i, uh, i was actually going to get up. i-if that's okay with you, boss," Sans explained nervously as he turned back around to face his brother.

Papyrus's eyes widened in surprise, but then, his mouth curved into a pleased smirk, "Alright, as long as you don't get in my way." With that, Papyrus began to get dressed. He hooked his fingers around the collar of his red t-shirt and started to take it off.

Sans turned redder than Papyrus's shirt, and he scrambled to turn around, yelping in surprised embarrassment.

"What?" the tall skeleton drawled, and the shorter could practically hear the amused smirk in his voice.

"j-just th-thought i'd g-give you s-some p-privacy, boss," Sans stuttered, trying to get his suddenly labored breathing under control. There was more rustling of clothing, and he tried to block out the images of Papyrus taking off his clothes _right behind him_. " _think of asgore in a bikini. think of asgore in a bikini,_ " he chanted as he attempted to push his feelings down.

After a few torturously long minutes of Sans lying there in horrified shame, his brother said with that same mocking tone, "I'm done now. You can look, Sans."

His cheekbones flamed once more, and he got off the bed quickly, picking up his torn jacket from the floor and avoiding Papyrus's eyes. He put on the ripped up jacket, and he held his arm out with the cut in the middle of the sleeve. There was also a huge tear in the side of his coat, and Sans examined it with a troubled frown. He was just awful at mending clothes, and he really didn't want to sew it up. Plus, he really liked this jacket, and now he ruined it.

"Oh, stop pouting you baby bones. I'll fix it later," Papyrus interrupted his thoughts irritably.

Sans jumped slightly as his thoughts were interrupted. He blushed yet again at being called a "baby bones". "thanks, boss," he muttered gratefully.

Papyrus rolled his eye sockets behind Sans's back, but then he frowned. Seeing his brother this flustered gave him a feeling he didn't quite understand...but he shook the weird feeling off.

Then, the small monster looked closer. He saw a hole in the side of his shirt too. How had he not noticed that?! Half of his ribs were sticking out! "uh, boss?"

"Yes, Sans?"

"it's just t-that…well," the situation was entirely too awkward for his tastes, and he struggled to word the question right.

"Spit it out! I need to go start on my paperwork and make breakfast, and I don't have time for your shit!" he snapped impatiently.

Sans flinched, and he quickly stumbled over his words, "c-can you lendmeoneofyourshirts?" It felt as if all his magic was powering his blush, and his cheekbones were glowing brighter than a flashlight.

He blinked once then twice before noticing the hole in his sibling's shirt. It had been dark in the room when Sans had taken off his jacket, so that's probably why they both didn't notice it before.

The thought of anybody seeing Sans like this had his fingers curling in possessive anger, and he swung open his closet door and dug out his pajama shirt that he had already hung up (After all, he wasn't a slob like a certain someone.). It was red like the one Sans already had on, but it was twice as big. Papyrus threw it at him, "Here."

Using his quick reflexes, Sans caught it with ease, and he slipped off his jacket. The shirt was made of soft cotton, and he rubbed the comfortable fabric between his fingers. He resisted the urge to bury his face in it, for just having it in his hands was comforting. Shaking his head a little, he was about to take off his shirt when he noticed that Papyrus was still in the room. He looked between the shirt and his brother, desperately not wanting to change in front of him. However, Papyrus just crossed his arms over his battle body impatiently and stood there, not budging.

Sans quickly turned away from his brother with another embarrassed flush on his face, and he dropped the shirt on the floor before using both hands to clumsily pull at the collar of his shirt. He was hyperaware of his every movement, and his hands shook slightly as he slipped it off and over his head. Feeling as if the whole Underground was watching him, Sans bent down to retrieve Papyrus's shirt. Just as he was standing back up with the t-shirt in hand, he felt a bony hand grab the nape of his neck, and the middle of his gloved palm was pressed against his C7 vertebra, firmly holding him in place. Sans froze, dropping the shirt, and a different kind of flush appeared on his face at the intimacy of the position.

There was dead silence for a few seconds before Sans cleared his throat anxiously, soul racing and body shaking slightly, and he gulped, "b-boss? w-what are y-you do-doing?"

"Why are the cracks in your back not fully healed? Hmm, and they seem to have spread...," he muttered to himself as he scrutinized his brother's spine, "Maybe I didn't finish it? I could've sworn I did! How could the Great Papyrus not succeed in healing?!" His grip on Sans's neck became tighter, and the bent over skeleton shuddered slightly as he instinctively tilted his head down to get more of that wonderful contact. "Nyeh heh heh. I'll just have to finish what I started!" he proclaimed. With that, Papyrus grabbed the tip of his gloved finger with his teeth, and he started removing it.

Sans's eye sockets grew wider at the statement, the memory of his mattress spring brushing against his injury had him jerking away from his brother. If Papyrus touched his back, he would definitely fuck everything up.

"Sans," Papyrus said warningly, and he slowly advanced on his brother, like a predator stalking its prey.

Sans took an equal number of unsteady steps back, eventually backing himself into a corner. By that time, he was sweating bullets, and his breathing came out faster and faster in labored breaths. His eye flickered to life, and he prepared to teleport, regardless of the consequences there would be for using too much magic.

Papyrus realized what Sans was about to do, and, quick as lightning, he reached a clawed hand into Sans's ribcage and pulled out his soul.

Sans instantly froze.

Papyrus slowly closed his hand around the soul, creating a cage around it. "Now, you're going to be good and stay here, aren't you?" He squeezed his fingers around the soul briefly.

Flashbacks of another Papyrus crushing his soul in the palm of his hand had Sans pressing his back against the wall with his hands spread out on either side of him. He pushed against the two sides of the wall, and he tried in vain to back away from his brother further. Sans was hyperventilating now, the tall skeleton's shadow looming over him in an intimidating manner. His flaming eye was blazing bright, and his trembling had turned into violent shaking.

" _I'm actually doing you a favor, Sans. No one will miss you when you're gone, and no one will remember you. I know I certainly won't._ " His brother's words flashed through his mind, and he shut his eye sockets tightly, trying to block out the horrible memory.

Papyrus looked down at the panicking skeleton, and he sighed in frustration. He wouldn't actually harm his brother, but sometimes he seriously considered it when Sans started freaking out like this. " _Nyeh. I've got to get him to calm down, so I can heal him properly. If the cracks keep spreading, he could eventually break into little pieces, and I don't want him gone quite yet. Hmm...maybe I should try something else?_ " Remembering what worked the other night, an idea came to him. He placed his thumb in the middle of the pale, dull heart and started rubbing slow, tedious circles on it's cracked surface.

His brother's actions seemed to do the trick, for Sans gasped out a whimper as his shaking transformed into shuddering. His soul started glowing in his brother's hand, and he leaned his head back against the wall, his eyes still clenched shut. A euphoric high came over him, and Sans's soul was vibrating. His bones slowly lost their tension, and he slid down the wall and onto the floor, tiny whimpers escaping his mouth.

Papyrus's grin widened. He enveloped his brother's soul with his magic and slowly levitated Sans up and turned him around. Sans didn't even notice what his brother was doing; all he could focus on was the incredible feeling of Papyrus's fingers rubbing small circles on his soul. The more dominant of the two slowly inched his hand towards his brother's back, and he pressed his magic filled hand against the cracks. Sans eye sockets snapped open, and he let out a surprised gasp. He attempted to squirm away again, but Papyrus grabbed his neck once more.

"Stop moving, _now_. This needs to happen, Sans. You're lucky I noticed it when I did. If it had continued any longer, you would've died," Papyrus stated as if it was all Sans's fault. Then, he focused on the slowly, but surely, healing cracks, and he sent a stronger flow of magic into his brother to speed up the process.

Sans buried his face in his hands and bit back a sob at the overwhelming feeling.

Now that Sans had ultimately given in and wasn't struggling anymore, Papyrus stopped the healing process momentarily before dipping his hand under Sans's ribcage and placing his sibling's soul back in its rightful place. He took off his other glove, and he placed both hands back on his brother's ribs.

Sans had sighed in relief when he thought Papyrus was done, but he quickly groaned when the hands where in back on him. " _fuck my life,_ " Sans shuddered. His nerves had become twice as sensitive, and his soul was vibrating and bouncing in his chest spasmodically. Magic was collecting in his mouth, and Sans whined as he tried to keep his tongue from forming. Despite his best efforts, it slowly appeared, and he had to grit his sharp fangs together in order to keep it from lolling out of his mouth.

This kept going on for about ten more minutes with the magic getting stronger and more aggressive. Sans was gasping through his clenched teeth, and his chest was heaving as if he had just run a marathon. His burning eye was heating up to painful temperature, and he silently begged for mercy.

Then, Papyrus suddenly growled and drew back, blurting out, "Why won't it heal any further?! The original cracks aren't going back to normal! What the fuck is wrong with this?!"

Sans sagged in relief that the overwhelming magic was gone, and his mind cleared enough to form a coherent thought. At hearing his brother's outburst, an idea came to him, and he seized the opportunity. "i-it m-might've scarred o-over, b-boss. i d-don't think even y-you c-can h-heal it," he desperately suggested. However, as he said that, his glowing red tongue became visible, and he hastily closed his mouth a second too late. The damage was already done.

Papyrus humphed, "I suppose that could be plausible..." His magic died down, and he put his gloves back on. "However, I'm checking up on you every day, got it?" he questioned as he stood up and made his way to the door.

Sans nodded quickly. The sooner Papyrus left, the sooner he could get his unwanted feelings under control.

The Royal Guard member tilted his head down in goodbye and opened the door. However, halfway out the door, he stopped. The short skeleton's sigh of relief was cut off, and he tensed up anxiously. Papyrus slowly turned on his heel and asked suspiciously, "Sans, what was just in your mouth?"

He gulped and stayed silent, not daring to open his mouth and answer in case he showed his tongue again.

Papyrus's eye sockets narrowed. "Open," he demanded.

Sans started panicking, " _no i can't. stars, what if he thinks it's disgusting?_ " He quickly shook his head in defiance.

" _Sans_ , open, _now_ ," he commanded slowly.

Once again, his brother shook his head, still stubbornly insisting that he keep his tongue hidden away.

"Don't make me...," he trailed off, his fingers clenched in tight fists as he attempted to rein in his growing anger.

The older brother put his hands up to cover his mouth and glared at the ground, frustrated that his brother wouldn't let the issue go. When he thought Papyrus wasn't looking, he redirected his glare to the tall skeleton, and he let out an annoyed sigh.

Papyrus's hands were clenched so tightly they were shaking, and he felt all his built-up aggravation and irritation inside of him reach its limit. He snapped. Like a snake striking its victim, he darted towards Sans so fast, it could've been mistaken for teleporting.

The tall monster leaned close to the now shaking skeleton so that their foreheads were almost touching, and he whispered in a terrifying tone, "I am so tired of your fucking shit. I heal you, and yet, you can't even obey a simple order? When I tell you to do something, _you fucking do it_." With that, he violently grabbed Sans's jaw with one hand and hooked his fingers around the top of his mouth with the other. Papyrus roughly pried open his mouth, and he raised his brow bones in surprise.

Sans flinched. His eye lights went out.

"A...tongue?" He moved his right hand from the top of his brother's mouth, and he curiously grabbed the red appendage between his thumb and his other four fingers. "Really, Sans? I thought you were hiding some secret, unknown power from me, not a _tongue_. Although, this _is_ rather interesting," he chuckled mockingly.

Sans was beyond mortified, and he could only sit there, frozen in shame, with his mouth wide open while his brother pulled, stroked, and poked his tongue like it was some kind of specimen. His face was burning crimson, and he let out a humiliated whimper.

Papyrus pointedly ignored it as he stared at his tongue, studying it. "Well, if _you_ can form one, then I, the Great Papyrus, must be able to form one too!" he exclaimed. His eyes glowed red, and he narrowed them slightly in concentration. Then, a familiar glow shone through Papyrus's teeth, and he opened his mouth to reveal a tongue of his own.

Sitting up straighter, Sans let out a surprised gasp, but his shock quickly transformed into admiration. " _of course papyrus would be able to control it that easily and summon it at will...he's so cool,_ " he thought longingly, " _stars, i wish i could have half the control over my magic that he does. my tongue just forms whenever the hell it wants to...heh. i may have a lot of magic, but what good does it do if i can't control it?_ "

While the older brother sat there in his thoughts, the younger sibling had long since let go of the other's tongue and was now standing up and moving his own around, experimenting.

Sans's attention was caught by the erotic movements, and his pupils were solely focused on Papyrus's tongue. His brother's tongue was red like his, except it was longer and more snake-like, and it moved around like it was its own being.

" _i wonder how that tongue would feel inside my mouth,_ " Sans thought before he could stop himself, and he immediately felt ashamed of his perverted thoughts as he blushed heavily.

In short, Papyrus's tongue was sexy as hell.

"What the fuck do we even need a tongue for anyway?" Papyrus suddenly asked.

The other's blush intensified; he could think of many ways he could use his tongue. "w-well, it makes eating a hell of a lot easier, and it, u-uh, makesotherthingseasiertoo," he quietly mumbled the last part quickly.

"What was that?" Papyrus snapped irritably.

His blush got brighter, and he squirmed uncomfortably, "e-erm, y-ya know, l-like, other c-certain acti-tivities?"

Papyrus's face scrunched slightly in confusion for a second, but it was quickly rearranged into a disgusted expression. "Nyeh," he grimaced and got rid of his tongue. Sans watched it go with a great amount of disappointment.

Then, Papyrus raised a brow ridge in his brother's direction, "What do _you_ use it for, Sans?"

He sputtered uselessly, looking extremely flustered as he struggled to find the right answer.

Papyrus chuckled, "Nyeh heh heh."

Sans's jaw dropped, " _is...is he teasing me?_ " His face burned.

His brother's chuckles died down, and he glanced over at the clock in his room and frowned. "We need to go downstairs and have breakfast. It's already 6:30," he said as he walked towards the door.

Sans nodded, and he got up from his spot against the wall. His bones creaked and popped from staying in that position for too long, but he ignored it and picked up Papyrus's shirt from the floor. He held it out in front of him, just now noticing how big it was.

From his place next to the door, Papyrus cleared his throat impatiently as he watched Sans with crossed arms, signaling him to hurry up.

Ignoring the size, Sans hastily slipped the large shirt over his small frame, and he looked down at the t-shirt with an insecure half-smile.

The piece of clothing went a little past the middle of his femur, almost completely covering his black and gold basketball shorts, and its sleeves were down to his elbow. He looked absolutely ridiculous. He didn't want to seem ungrateful but...

He cleared his throat, "uh, boss? d-do you have a-"

"Huh. You look good in my shirt," Papyrus said out loud, unintentionally. He quickly turned his head away, so quick that Sans was sure that he imagined the faint, barely-there blush that stained his boss's cheek bones.

As for him, nothing could hide the red glow that covered his entire face. "i-uh," he tried, speechless, before remembering his manners, "th-thank y-you, b-boss." He subconsciously fumbled with the bottom of the shirt before picking his jacket up from the floor and putting it on, completely forgetting about his desire to get a new shirt.

His boss simply brushed off his "thank you", and he opened the door purposefully. "Enough dilly dallying, we need to get to work on time."

"o-okay, boss," Sans replied obediently as he walked towards the door, one step behind his brother.

They went down to the kitchen, got their breakfast, and sat in their respective spots on the living room couch.

While they were eating their spaghetti, Papyrus remembered what his brother had said, and he summoned his tongue out of curiosity.

His snake-like tongue wrapped around the fork as he put it in his mouth, and it darted out of his fanged teeth to lick at some of the sauce that had accidentally ended up on the side of his mouth.

" _Huh,_ " Papyrus mused, continuing to eat, " _it is easier._ "

Sans glanced over at Papyrus and did a double take. He dropped his fork on his bowl as he couldn't help but stare at his brother. " _he's so damn sexy. stars, does he even know what he's doing to me? he can make eating spaghetti look like its some kind of erotic show, and he has me drooling over him by doing absolutely nothing._ "

An ugly, unwanted thought crept into his mind, " _it's only a matter of time before monsters start coming up to him wanting a date._ " Then, Sans grew jealous. He grew jealous of the lucky monster Papyrus would one day pick to be his companion and (a knot formed in his stomach at the very idea) lover. Someone who could present a calm, confident front in the eyes of the public. Someone who could be an equal. Someone who could control their own magic. Someone who wasn't so clingy. Someone who didn't have so many fucking problems. " _and why would Papyrus want someone as fucked up as me when he could have someone so much better? wow. i really am-_ "

"-ANS! SANS! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

He was snapped out of his sad, depressing thoughts as his brother harshly flicked him in the middle of his forehead. "s-sorry, boss. i k-kinda z-zoned out th-there," he said sheepishly.

"I could tell," Papyrus said disdainfully, glaring at his brother. "As I was saying, if you actually paid attention, I have a few errands to run tonight, so I won't be back in time for dinner."

"oh, okay," Sans replied, disappointed, fumbling with his fork. "d-does that m-mean i can go t-to grillb-by's?" he asked nervously.

Papyrus scowled, "If you want to go to that grease bucket, then I don't care."

"thanks, b-boss," he said gratefully.

His brother rolled his eye sockets, and he got up with his empty bowl. He grabbed Sans's empty bowl too (He didn't even notice he had eaten all of it.), and his hands accidentally grabbed Sans's. The small skeleton moved his hands away as if burned, and Papyrus just sighed in exasperation and took the bowl. He turned away either ignoring or not caring about Sans's weird behavior, and he headed into the kitchen.

" _what's wrong with me?_ " he wondered, shaking his head.

Once Papyrus came back into the living room, he gestured for Sans to follow him as he briskly walked towards the door, and Sans struggled to keep up with his long strides.

Papyrus opened the front door with a deep sigh, time to start another day.

 

* * *

 

The sun had set, the snow was lightly falling outside, monsters were at home sleeping soundly, and Sans was _wasted_.

He had gone to Grillby's like he said he would, and he had only bought a hamburger, a harmless hamburger. That is, until a bottle of mustard had mysteriously shown up next to him. He had only meant to take a small sip, but then, he started thinking about all his problems concerning him and Papyrus. Suddenly, a sip didn't seem like nearly enough. Maybe he would've stopped at one bottle, but they just kept appearing. And, well, who was he to deny another bottle?

Which brought him to his current situation.

"hehhh. i just don' know how long i can keep doin' this, ya know? heh heh," he confessed drunkenly. His head was sloppily propped up by his hand, and empty bottles of mustard were strewn all over the bar around him.

Grillby got out another mustard bottle from under the counter and placed it in front of the drunk monster.

"thaannksss, grillby," Sans slurred as he started chugging the condiment.

The flame monster gathered the empty glasses left on the counter, and he started cleaning them. As he was drying off the glasses, he studied the skeleton before him. His cheekbones were flushed from the alcohol, and his huge shirt practically swallowed him whole, making him look smol and adorable. " _Hm, he is rather cute._ " An idea came to him, " _And he probably won't remember anything in the morning. He can't even use his magic right now. Perhaps..._ "

**WARNING: MILD SEXUAL ASSAULT**

Grillby looked around the empty bar cautiously, just to be safe. He stealthily sneaked around to the other side of the bar, stopping right behind the drunk skeleton. "You know, Sans, you probably shouldn't have gotten so drunk. It leaves you _quite_ vulnerable." He suggestively trailed a fiery finger down the skeleton's jaw.

Sans jumped and turned around. He looked at him with a confused expression, "g-grillby? wha-what are you doin'?"

"Oh, just having some fun," he coolly responded, and he put his arms on either side of Sans, caging him in, his flaming hands on the edge of the counter.

Sans flinched and tried to duck under Grillby's arms, but the bartender moved in closer and grabbed Sans's bony chin, forcing him to look at him.

"You're actually pretty cute when you're trying to escape," he said with a wicked smile. He moved in to kiss the poor monster, but Sans turned his head at the last minute, making Grillby kiss his clavicle. However, the fire monster just grinned and started sucking on the bone, leaving a burning hickey.

Sans gritted his teeth against the whimpers that threatened to come out; he wouldn't give his attacker the satisfaction of hearing his pain. He tried to push, kick, or fight in some way against Grillby, but the flame monster just held a fireball against his wildly beating soul, threatening to kill him. Sans knew that there was little he could do to escape, especially with his 1 HP, and that fact alone gave Sans a whole new sense of panic. " _help. someone please help me_ ," he desperately thought.

But nobody ca-

Papyrus slammed open the door and looked around, only to see Grillby hunched over, burning hickeys into his brother. A blinding fury came over him, and he focused on the bartender, constricting his soul with his magic. Grillby let out a shocked yell.

" **DON'T FUCKING TOUCH MY BROTHER.** "

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make this chapter longer because of the long wait (damn ship), and I hope you like it! Also, I really appreciate you waiting for the next chapter. I know I already said that, but it means a lot to me!


	8. A Busy Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have no excuse as to why this is so late other than life is a bitch. The past couple of weeks have been shit, and I've had almost no motivation to write this chapter. Buuuut, I finally finished it! Thank you for all the nice reviews that helped me slowly, but surely, finish this chapter!
> 
> IMPORTANT (A/N): I'm in theater, and my show is coming up really soon. That being said, I'm practicing after school until 9:00 PM EVERY DAY next week, so the next chapter will probably be later because, between homework, showering, and sleeping, I won't really have time to work on it. I'm really sorry, but I'll try to work on it when I can!
> 
> Also, more people drew more fan art for me?!:
> 
> NotHeatherBlossom:
> 
> Tumblr-
> 
> http://iscribbledfilth.tumblr.com/post/142992551782/httpsarchiveofourownorgworks6115273-finally
> 
> Amortem:
> 
> Tumblr-
> 
> http://amortem-kun.tumblr.com/post/142903837345/the-journal-fanfic-ah-i-love-it-%CF%89-smol
> 
> Anonartistcone:
> 
> Tumblr-
> 
> http://anonartistcone.tumblr.com/image/142970947337
> 
> http://anonartistcone.tumblr.com/post/142981899122
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH! THIS IS AMAZING! <3

Papyrus had just finished running his "errands". "Errands" as in hunting-down-the-dog-pack-and-kicking-their-asses, of course. He couldn't kill them, unfortunately, because Undyne still needed some monsters that were halfway competent enough to sit at their sentry stations and guard the area, but he could come pretty close to it.

She had been less than pleased when he had reported to her that Greater Dog was dead; however, he was able to convince her that if _Sans_ could kill him, then he deserved to be dust.

Anyhow, after he had made them beg for mercy (Except that weird, smaller dog, he didn't really do anything, so Papyrus didn't bother to mess with him.), he had gone back to the house to fill out some boring, but necessary, paperwork on behalf of Undyne about new laws concerning better punishments for crimes and such.

The existing laws said that the monsters committing the crimes should be locked away for a certain period of time or even killed, depending on how serious the crime was. However, he and Undyne were trying to get the offenders to be immediately sentenced to death/torture. While some monsters might bitch about how "unfair" it was, not much was actually considered a crime here, and the things that were, were very serious crimes. Crimes like sexual assault and genocide were the two major offenses, and anyone who committed them would have to answer to Papyrus or Undyne.

He sighed. He had just given the paperwork back to Undyne, and he was walking away from the captain's house and towards Grillby's where his, probably drunk, brother would be. As he was walking through the Garbage Dump, a red object caught his eye. Papyrus cocked his head curiously and headed towards the mound of objects and trash it was stuck in. He trudged through the piles of stuff, pushing more things out of the way, until the red object was in reaching distance.

The powerful skeleton reached out a gloved hand, and he firmly hooked his claws around the object. Papyrus pulled it out only to realize there was something else attached to it. He tugged some more, and a long, gold chain was revealed. Papyrus grabbed the sturdy chain and pulled on it, and a red circle of leather with gold spikes attached to it popped out. He studied the object in his hands, " _A collar and a leash?_ " he thought with raised brow bones. There was a strip of red leather folded in half to make the handle, and the leash was made out of a gold chain that hooked onto the gold ring attached to the center of the collar. The collar itself was made out of red leather with gold spikes protruding from it, and it buckled in the back like a belt.

Papyrus furrowed his brow bones. "What the fuck do I even need this for?" he wondered, holding the collar and leash in his hands. For some reason, he felt compelled to keep it. He didn't exactly know _why_ , but he reasoned that it couldn't hurt to have it.

The skeleton walked back to Snowdin, and he stopped at his house to drop off the leash and collar. He went up to his room and placed it on the dresser. "Nyeh. I can decide what to do with this later," he concluded. Then, he exited the house and made his way to the bar, grumbling, "Now, I have to go pick up my lazy-ass brother."

As he was going to Grillby's, it started snowing, and he probably wouldn't have minded it if it hadn't turned into a full out blizzard in a matter of minutes. Papyrus growled in irritation as he struggled through the snow, "Sans, you better be fucking grateful."

When he finally arrived at the pub, he was cold, tired, hungry, and pissed off. Papyrus angrily grabbed the doorknob, and the wind blew through the crack and slammed the door open for him. The sight in front of him had him seeing red.

Grillby was hunched over, holding a fireball over his brother's soul, burning _mother fucking hickeys_ into Sans's clavicle.

A possessive hatred filled his soul, and he clenched his fingers into fists so tightly, it was a wonder they didn't crack. Papyrus attacked Grillby's soul with his magic, turning it a cold blue; he relished his shocked yelp and sent him flying away from Sans. He crashed into the right wall, landing in front of the jukebox with a satisfying thud.

" **DON'T FUCKING TOUCH MY BROTHER,** " Papyrus roared furiously.

The bartender scrambled to get up, but Papyrus summoned deadly sharp bones around him. They pierced through the wooden floorboards and created a cage around him. The bones were so tightly packed together that Grillby couldn't see a thing beyond them. The restaurant owner curled his fingers into a fist, and he attempted to make a crack in the wall. However, the second his hand made contact, he recoiled as if his hand was on fire. His HP lowered, and he hissed in aggravation, having no choice but to wait for them to disappear.

Papyrus blew a harsh puff of air through his anterior nasal aperture, and he turned away from the fire monster with a growl, still fuming. His attention shifted to his wasted brother.

" _You_ ," he snarled as he advanced threateningly on his brother.

Even though he was drunk as hell, Sans still had enough common sense to try to back away. However, he forgot he was sitting on a stool (the poor drunk bastard), and he clumsily toppled off of it. Papyrus didn't even flinch; he just caught his brother with his magic before he could fall and levitated him upwards so that him and Sans were eye level. His brother didn't dare meet Papyrus's fierce glare.

"If you hadn't come to this fucking bar, none of this would've happened! What have I told you about getting drunk and letting your guard down?!" Papyrus raised his voice harshly at the end.

Sans cowered from his position dangling in the air. "b-boss, pl-please, i-i-i'm s-sor-"

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up," he interrupted. "Don't you dare try to interrupt me with your halfhearted apologies!" Papyrus continued on, "You know you're easy to kill, and yet, you still come to this shabby, greasy, shitty pub and get wasted! I'm so _tired_ of saving your sorry ass all the time!"

The anxious monster flinched but said nothing, not even trying to make up excuses. He looked on the verge of a panic attack with his labored breathing and shaking hands, but Papyrus paid no heed to that.

"And you couldn't even defend yourself! You act like you don't even have fucking magic at all! If I hadn't come in when I did..." he trailed off, letting the idea hang there. Then, he carried on ruthlessly, "You're always getting yourself into trouble with your incompetence, and you don't put in the effort to try to train and get better! I don't know _why_ you never learn, you fucking idiot!" He narrowed his eye sockets, glaring down at Sans, "Maybe I'll just have to teach you a lesson..."

Sans bowed his head in shame, fumbling with his hands as he sloppily picked at them. His claws caught on previous indents he had made in them, and flakes of bone fluttered to the floor, his pain helping distract him from the cruel words of his brother.

Papyrus glanced behind him to where Grillby was trapped. Then, he turned back to Sans with a growl, "I'll deal with you later." He let him fall to the ground with a thump. Sans felt his kneecaps scrape painfully on the wooden floor. His olecranon caught on a stray nail poking out of the floorboards, and his momentum caused the nail to take a section of bone with it. However, he made no move to actually get up from his position. He just laid there in sad heap on the floor, feeling his brother's disappointment course through him like poison.

Stomping towards his bone cage, Papyrus held his hand out once more and brought the cage down. Instantaneously, Grillby came rushing towards Papyrus, and he began shooting fireballs at him rapidly. The Royal Guard member gritted his teeth impatiently and dodged all of his attacks smoothly. Then, with a snap of his fingers, he turned Grillby's soul blue, and Papyrus violently lifted his hand upwards. The flaming monster gave another surprised yell as he was thrown up, and the furious skeleton let him crash into the ceiling before throwing him into another wall across the room. Grillby smashed into the small light on the left side of the room, and he roughly fell onto the little wooden table before it broke in half. He tumbled to the floor, and shards of glass rained down on top of him, stabbing him from all directions.

He attempted to push himself up, but the two halves of the table collapsed onto him, and he landed flat on his chest with a pained "oomph". Grillby glared up at the approaching skeleton and summoned a fire attack in his hands. He begin shooting them towards Papyrus once more, but the Royal Guardsman lazily summoned a bone-like club and batted them out of the way, some of them reflecting and coming back at Grillby.

He swiftly raised his hands to instinctually block the attack, but, just as swiftly, knife-like bones appeared above his head and pierced through the top of his hands, pinning them to the ground. Grillby felt a shout of pure agony leave his throat only for another to replace it.

Papyrus's boots thudded against the floorboards rhythmically as he took his time walking towards Grillby, mocking his inability to fight him, and he scoffed, "Pathetic." He swiped his hand downwards, and the table pieces were flung away from Grillby's body. At the same time, Papyrus summoned needle-sharp bones above the bartender and sent them through the edges of Grillby's clothes (some "accidentally" nicking his body) to firmly pin him in place, the bones outlining his body.

"That you managed to beat my brother is rather," he glanced at Sans's figure lying on the floor, "...disappointing." His voice was laced with disdain, directed at both Grillby and Sans.

Sans closed his eye sockets tightly, trying to block out Papyrus's words, yet it still felt as if a hole was slowly burning itself through his soul. He let out a shaky breath. " _wow. i managed to disappoint him even more. heh,_ " he thought, the familiar feeling of tears stinging his eyes. However, he hastily blinked them away, refusing to show more weakness than he already had.

He curled in on himself, wrapping his arms around his tibiae, and he buried his face in his kneecaps, the smell of Papyrus's shirt comforting him more than Papyrus himself.

Sans was facing away from Papyrus and Grillby, and he could hear their conversation behind his back. He didn't have any motivation to move, much less turn around and watch them, so he opted to just listen instead.

He could hear his brother mocking Grillby about how easy it was to take him down, but to Sans, it felt like his brother was mocking _him_. Him and his inability to take down a monster like Grillby when his brother had done it in less than ten minutes. Him and his inability to defend himself. Him and his inability to do _anything fucking right_.

Every harsh insult toward the bartender was like a slap in the face for Sans, reminding him that he was at least ten times worse than Grillby. Sans tried to block out these thoughts and think about how grateful he should be that he was alive, but he couldn't help but _not care_.

All he could focus on was the pain in his kneecaps, the pain in his olecranon, the pain in his palms, the pain in his _soul_. And, for _those_ feelings, he was grateful.

The pain distracted him from the outside world. It distracted him from Papyrus. It distracted him from himself. The conversation around him dulled until he could no longer make out the pained shouts of his attacker. All Sans could hear was the sound of his own soul weakly pulsing in his ribcage. It was was almost calming in an irregular-and-unsteady sort of way.

His mind slowly shifted to dull, sleep-filled thoughts, and his previously tense body relaxed slightly as his arms unwrapped themselves from his tibiae and fell limply at his side. The mental exhaustion mixed with the mustard had Sans slumping on the floor, blissfully unconscious.

Meanwhile, Papyrus was standing over the mangled form of Grillby, oblivious to Sans's unconscious form. He had been torturing the bartender slowly and viciously for some time now, and he had a plethora of sharp bones behind him, just waiting to further injure the other.

Papyrus coldly looked down at Grillby. The flame monster had bones sticking out of him at all angles like he was a fiery pincushion, and his suit was ripped and split open in various places. His flames had noticeably dimmed to a gray, lifeless purple, and his HP was down to a measly 20.

"Now, I'm going to make this _very clear_." Papyrus jerked his hand up, and Grillby was sent flying up into the air. The bones embedded in his body tore and ripped at his insides as they were jostled around. Grillby let out a _piercing_ scream (Hehe, you know because he was being _pierced_ by bones?...Okay, I'll stop.), and his whole body contorted into an unnatural position, tensing in excruciating pain.

His flaming face was level with the skeleton's bony one, and, quick as lightning, Papyrus raised his gloved hand only to violently swing it across Grillby's face. The bartender's head snapped to the side with the force of Papyrus's backhand, and waves of pain coming from his jaw and nose told him they were broken. He felt the hinges on his black glasses snap, and the temple of his glasses was just hanging there uselessly. There was a spiderweb of cracks in the center of the lens that obscured his vision slightly.

Papyrus growled threateningly, "Sans. Belongs. To **me** ," with that, Papyrus flipped Grillby over, so his face was facing the ceiling. Then, he forcefully pushed his palm towards the ground, and Grillby was sent falling towards the floor. The bartender realized what was happening a second too late, and he uselessly opened his mouth to let out a scream. However, it was cut off as the bones in his body were forced through him, like a nail forced through wood. His body arched, almost bending in half, and he fell silent. Papyrus's attacks were strategically placed, so Grillby's body was supported by four bigger bones that stood up on their own. There was a sickening squelching sound as his body slowly sunk deeper onto the bones, his mouth frozen in a yell of horror. But Papyrus wasn't done yet.

He summoned a mustard bottle into his waiting claws. "Here, have a drink," he pointed the condiment at Grillby, and he clenched his claws into a fist. The top of the bottle exploded, and mustard shot out of it and landed on Grillby. His body sizzled and smoked before his face morphed into a terrified expression. The bartender gave a quiet, croaky squeak which morphed into a shrill scream of agony. Grillby reached out to grab at the skeleton, making one last ditch effort, but he crumbled into dust.

Papyrus smirked. All of his bones disappeared with a snap of his fingers, and he walked over the the pile of dust on the floor. There was a pair of cracked glasses on Grillby's remains . Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets slightly and raised his foot just to stomp on the glasses; he ground them into the floor with the ball of his foot before turning on his heel and striding towards Sans.

Sans, surprisingly, hadn't woken during Grillby's shrieks of pain, and he was still passed out cold on the floor. Papyrus levitated his brother off the floor and had Sans trailing behind him as headed towards the front door of the bar. He would've just woken his lazy ass up and made him walk to their house that was a few minutes away. But he could hear that the raging blizzard hadn't stopped, and Sans would just trip and collapse in the snow like the useless lump that he was, anyway.

Papyrus had barely opened the door before the howling wind slammed it all the way open, the doorknob banging against the wall, and his brother floated next to him as he battled his way towards the house. The wind whipped around his scarf, threatening to take it away, so he brought a hand up to grasp tightly onto it. Sans groaned at the cold and curled into himself in an attempt to keep himself warm. Papyrus just scowled and trudged through the snow and towards the house.

When they finally arrived, the three minute walk felt like a three hour one, and by the time they actually made it to the front door, even Papyrus was shivering. The tall skeleton jerked the door open with a small sigh of relief, and he stepped into the warm, inviting room, shoulders relaxing. He turned around and kicked the door shut, locking it out of habit even though he knew no one was out there in that weather.

He considered just throwing Sans onto the stiff, uncomfortable couch, but the more possessive side of him had him reconsidering and instead letting him float there.

Papyrus started marching up the stairs when suddenly Sans have a soft groan of pain from behind him, subconsciously putting his hand up to his clavicle. Papyrus levitated his sleeping brother over to him, wondering what all the noise was about. When he saw the spot that Sans was holding, the image of Grillby giving Sans a hickey had his anger flaring up again.

He batted Sans's hand away from the burned area and assessed the damage with an angry scowl. There was a big hickey literally burned into Sans's clavicle, and the bone around the bite mark was an angry red. The marks, however, were scorched black. Papyrus gave a low, menacing growl. Grillby had practically branded his brother like cattle, like he owned him, which was utterly infuriating because Sans was _his_.

The taller skeleton didn't know when he had gotten so possessive over his brother. Papyrus had just always been the selfish type, and he despised sharing, especially when it came to his brother. Growing up, he hadn't had the money to own many things, so what he did have, he was very possessive over, no matter what it was.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he strode towards the living room. He dropped Sans onto the couch before sitting down, and he began to take Sans's jacket off. Then, he held the other's hands up, so he could tug off his shirt. Papyrus pulled his gloves off as they lit up with a red aura. He didn't necessarily have to have his gloves off for the healing process to work, but it made the procedure so much faster. He gripped Sans's uninjured shoulder firmly before placing his other on his clavicle. His brother whimpered in discomfort, but Papyrus simply ordered him to shut up, surprisingly silencing Sans even though he was unconscious. Then, he began the slow process of fixing the burns.

"I can't believe he dared to lay a hand on you," Papyrus snarled in a quiet, restrained anger. He was bent over slightly, looming above his brother, and his words rumbled in Sans's ears menacingly.

Sans made a weak attempt to pull away, his instincts screaming at him to run from the predator next to him. However, Papyrus's grip was unyielding and controlled, so he didn't budge an inch.

His brother continued on in that same terrifying tone, "Especially since he should know that no one fucks with something that's _mine_." Papyrus casually traced the blackened hickey marks with a clawed finger in a way that seemed anything but casual. His fingers glided over to the left side of his brother's collarbone, closer to Sans's soul, and he lightly raked his sharp fingers over the bone, the pressure steadily increasing until he'd properly engraved his mark onto his brother. The cuts weren't deep enough reach the marrow, but they came pretty close. The short monster groaned in pain, but he made no more attempts to free himself, his mind registering that he was trapped.

Papyrus felt his mouth turn up in a smirk, "Nyeh heh heh. That one will stay." Putting his hand back on the hickey to focus on the task at hand, he pushed magic into the burn, watching as it slowly but surely started disappearing. The indents themselves were slowly rising, reforming the previously smooth surface. Soon, the injury was gone, like it never happened. Except, it did, and the memory was all too fresh in Papyrus's mind. He sat back against the couch.

Now that he could properly reflect on the situation, he didn't exactly know why he was _this_ upset. Sure, it was partly because of his possessive nature, but that couldn't explain why the thought of Grillby getting away with what he had been doing enraged him _so fucking much_.

" _It's perfectly reasonable to not want your property to be damaged,_ " he reasoned/defended, though to who, he had no idea.

With a weary sigh, he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind, and, with some maneuvering, he put Sans's shirt back on for him. He folded his jacket (he still needed to sew up the tears) and put it on the table to the right before levitating Sans up once more. He trudged up the stairs, more than ready for the day to be over.

Papyrus tiredly turned the doorknob and entered his room. Just as he was bout to drop Sans onto the bed, a flash of gold caught his eye. Before he could really think about what he was doing, he grabbed the collar and unhooked the leash from it, and he undid the buckle and levitated his brother towards him. Then, careful not to wake him, he placed it around Sans's neck and fastened it, loose enough that it was clearly visible but not big enough to fit over Sans's skull. Papyrus stood back to admire his handiwork with a proud grin.

He dropped Sans onto the bed and started to get undressed. Once he was finished, he got under the covers, throwing them over his brother, too, without thinking much of it. With a snap of his fingers, the light switch was surrounded in his red aura and flipped off. He gave a deep sigh. He'd deal with Sans tomorrow, but for now, they both needed a good night's sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't as good as the last one. But I've been really stressed and unmotivated, and I just wanted to post something for you guys. Hopefully it was okay. <3


	9. Arguments and Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally done! Thanks for your patience, and thank you so so SOOOOO much for the reviews, kudos, and just generally reading my story! The support has been astounding! Also, I'm really sorry, but this chapter is only 2k words D: But I didn't want to keep anyone waiting anymore, and hopefully, I can get started in the next chapter! Anyway, hope you like it!

Something was choking him, and he couldn't fucking _breathe_. He hastily attempted to suck in some air, but all he could manage were a few short gasps. Sans was barely awake, his eye sockets still closed, but he was conscious enough to know that something was around his neck. And he needed it off. Now.

His head was pounding furiously, and his barely-conscious mind could only focus on the pain and the fear. Sans's hands fumbled with the object choking him, desperately trying to rip it off. His sweaty fingers lost their grip, and they slipped, causing his palms to embed themselves into something sharp and cut themselves open. This only served to intensify his panic, and Sans felt his eyes water at the painful sting. More sweat ran down the side of his skull, and it felt like the thing around his neck was getting smaller and smaller with each gasping breath he took.

Much more awake now, Sans struggled to open his eyes, but his eyelids were heavy with sleep. His head was still beating like a drum, making even opening his eyes a difficult task. When he finally wrenched them open, there were only tiny pinpricks of light residing in his sockets, and they quivered pathetically in fear.

With shaking hands, he reached up towards his neck, more carefully now, and he wrapped his hand around the accessory he didn't want, now much more alert and recognizing that it was a leather ring of sorts. Sans pulled the leather ring forward, so the back of it was flush with the nape of his neck. He continued to pull it until the leather was strained, so he could see the front of the object clearly. The things that had previously cut open his hands were golden spikes, and there was a matching golden ring in the center of the red leather.

" _wait a second...is this a mother fucking collar?!_ " Sans thought, his eye sockets widening comically. " _how-who put this on me?!_ " he thought in a confused panic. Below the collar, on his clavicle, was a scratched-in mark. " _what the actual fuck?! is that a...d*?_ " Sans shook his head with frazzled sigh, " _first things first, i need to get this collar off._ "

The small skeleton placed his hand on the bed, wincing as the sheets rubbed against the cut in his palm, and he pushed against the bed, trying to sit up and somehow take to collar off. However, just the slightest movement had the room spinning like a pinwheel, and he felt blood he didn't have rush to his head. His vision went black, and a wave of dizziness overtook him. Sans groaned in pain and could vaguely recognize that he had collapsed back onto the bed. He laid there for a good five minutes before his vision slowly returned, and the dizziness gradually receded until only the throbbing in his skull, a reminder of last night, was left.

Even though his vision was clear again, the ceiling above him kept spinning and spinning and spinning, doing nothing to help his head, and even though he technically didn't have a stomach, he still felt like he could puke at any moment. Not to mention, his mouth was painfully dry, and his throat felt like he had swallowed sandpaper. Sans could faintly taste the unique flavor of mustard on his teeth, and he grimaced at the stale taste.

"what the fuck happened last night?" Sans tiredly mumbled. He guessed that he must have gotten pretty fucking hammered, but what happened _while_ he was hammered, he had no idea. And that was more than a bit concerning.

Sans pushed the worrisome thoughts to the back of his mind. He knew that he was in his brother's room, so he was relatively safe. He couldn't have done something that bad if he was still alive and well...right?

Once again, he shook off his negative thoughts, and, with some maneuvering, he managed to twist the collar around without having to sit up. There was a golden buckle connecting the two ends, and he fumbled with it, clumsily attempting to take it off.

A clawed hand firmly curled around the buckle, effectively stopping him in his tracks. "Don't. You. Dare."

Sans jumped a bit as his soul did the same. "b-boss!" he exclaimed. Sans turned his head to face him (not too quickly so he wouldn't aggravate his head even more). "but why can't i...?"

"Because I said so," Papyrus replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I put it there, and I intend to keep it there, whether you like it or not."

Sensing Sans's confusion Papyrus gave an exasperated huff and continued on. "I need everyone to know that you belong to me," he growled, his pitch lowering.

Sans felt shivers run down his spine, surprisingly feeling himself turned on by this, and an embarrassed blush made its way to his face.

"Especially after last night..." Papyrus trailed off, as if remembering something, and his gaze darkened into a glare, directed at Sans.

The small skeleton immediately averted his gaze when he saw Papyrus's fierce stare focused on him. "b-boss?" Sans questioned in a small voice. " _shit. what the fuck did i do?_ "

"Do you not remember any of last night?" Papyrus snapped impatiently.

His brother shook his head nervously.

"Really? You don't remember getting fucking wasted and having Grillby _feel you up_?" he all but snarled.

Sans furrowed his brow bones in confusion as he mulled over his brother's words. Suddenly, something clicked, and a rush of memories hit him.

The panic he felt when Grillby got a _little_ too close. The immense feeling of relief and fear when his brother slammed open the bar door. The complete and utter uselessness that was coursing through him when he was dropped onto the wooden floor. And the crushing hopelessness that weighed down his soul just before he fell unconscious.  
  
Papyrus's words from the other night flashed rapidly through his mind, and Sans unconsciously brought his knees up to his chest. He leaned away from the Royal Guardsman as much as Papyrus's grip would allow, which wasn't very much at all, trying to protect himself.

"Oh? So you do remember?" Papyrus questioned coolly.

The hungover skeleton violently winced, almost groaning at the dizziness the quick movement caused, and he nodded his head slowly, timidly.

"Then do you remember why Grillby had his hands _all fucking over you_?!" he said harshly. He roughly yanked Sans by his collar, so their faces were mere inches apart.

"i-i-i d-don-" Sans fearfully stuttered, trying to appease the other monster.

"Did you _want_ it?!" Papyrus roared, interrupting his brother's stuttering, and his eyes glowed a menacing red. His grip on Sans's collar violently tightened, and Sans briefly wondered if the buckle might snap in half.

He hurried to deny the false statement, "n-no! stars, no! i-i don't-i would n-never-i only want..." he immediately cut himself off. " _...you,_ " whispered a small, hopeless voice buried deep in his mind. Sans looked down and away from Papyrus, feeling unworthy to even be in his brother's presence.

" _you fucking retard,_ " he harshly berated himself. " _you were almost about to fuck everything up._ " Sans gave a resigned sigh. " _like you always do._ "

Mistaking his brother's anguish for guilt that he had, in fact, wanted it, Papyrus roughly let go of Sans's collar with a disgusted scowl. "No matter. He's dust anyway."

The older skeleton looked back up in surprise.

"What? Are you upset that your fuck buddy is dead?" Papyrus venomously spat out the words, their cruelness hurting Sans exactly like they were supposed to.

Said skeleton tightly clenched his fingers into fists, trying to keep it together, to not just fall apart into little pieces right then and there. " _he still thinks that i just go around fucking other monsters. he doesn't trust me._ " The thoughts were almost too painful to think. " _and why should he? i'm just a lowly 1 hp monster that he keeps around because he's too responsible not to. he doesn't owe me anything._ " And, yet, even though Papyrus had no reason to trust him, it didn't make it any less painful. " _idiot,_ " he scolded himself, a bitter chuckle threatening to make its way out of his throat at his sheer naïveté.

Noticing his brother's silence, Papyrus gave an annoyed sigh, shaking his head, and he sat up and got out of bed.

Noticing that his brother was leaving Sans worked up the courage to ask, "b-boss? d-do you want m-me to c-come with y-"

Papyrus couldn't help but scoff at the ridiculous suggestion.

The smaller monster instantly regretted his decision to speak up at all, and he shrunk in on himself, anxiously scratching at his hands.

"Please, you can't even sit up properly. If I brought you along with me, you'd just be targeted by other monsters because of how fucking weak you look," Papyrus said, not noticing his brother's crestfallen expression.

Maybe he should just stay here-no. He had to prove to his brother that he wasn't useless. "i-i could s-still help," Sans tried.

His brother scoffed once again, and he quickly shot down Sans's offer, "With what? Falling unconscious once you stand up or being more lazy than usual? Pfft, give me a fucking break. Besides, you never do shit, anyway."

Maybe it was his still throbbing head or his aching stomach or his pure exhaustion, but a defensive anger rose within him. He blew out a puff of air through his anterior nasal aperture. "w-well, that isn't all my fault. maybe if you'd actually give me a fucking chance, then-"

"Oh? 'Give you a chance'? That's just rich. I've given you more chances than Asgore has flowers, you piece of shit," Papyrus snarled, aggravation growing, "and you've fucked up every one of them!"

Sans sat up, ignoring the black spots dancing in his vision, "really? because if I remember correctly, i became a sentry before you, _and_ i work directly in the king's castle, something even 'the great papyrus' doesn't do!"

Papyrus growled; that was a low blow. He clenched his fists in an effort to control himself. "Fine! If you're so much better than me, then you can fend for yourself! Your incapable ass won't last five minutes out there!-"

"watch me!"

"-In fact, you would never have gotten this far without me saving your sorry ass all the fucking time!"

"i never asked you to come and save me! i can take care of myself! if you've forgotten, _i'm_ the older brother, not you!"

"Well, you sure don't act like it! You're always a complete and utter mess! All. The daMN. TIME!" His eye sockets were aflame with a blood red fire. "FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE, CAN YOU NOT BE A COMPLETE FUCK-UP?!"

Silence.

Sans's jaw was frozen halfway open, his words stuck in his throat. A whispered, "okay," made its way out instead.

Deep down, Papyrus couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of guil-no. He shoved the useless emotion away. He didn't need it.

Sans knew that half the things he had said were lies. His anger long gone, he was left with empty regret. Suddenly, going outside didn't seem like such a big deal anymore. He laid back down, playing with the collar that seemed to be mocking him.

Papyrus sharply turned away from Sans from his position next to the bed. He got out his clothes and got dressed. Sans turned away from Papyrus from his position on the bed. He pulled the covers up to his chin and closed his eyes.

The younger brother opened the door with a click. He closed it with a slam. The older brother opened his empty eyes with a blank expression. He closed them as they started to tear up.

Sans could've sworn he heard a tiny crack coming from his chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *From Sans's perspective, the "P" looks like a "d" (just incase you didn't get that part).
> 
> Okay, I know not a lot really happened in this chapter, but it just kinda happened? Nonetheless, I hope you liked it! Have a great day!


	10. Overwhelmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M DONE. Ugh, finally! This one took too long! Thank you guys so much for the nice support; I really appreciate it!
> 
> WARNING: ATTEMPTED SUICIDE IN THIS CHAPTER

Sans opened his eye sockets, blissfully unaware that anything was wrong for a good ten seconds... And then his memories hit him like a truck. Their fight replayed in his head, and he gave an utterly miserable sigh.

Although his headache was mostly gone and he felt better physically, all Sans wanted to do was curl up in a ball and lay there until he turned into dust. Probably not on Papyrus's bed, though, he wouldn't want to get his dust all over the sheets. It would just inconvenience his brother even more.

Sans stared at the empty sheets in front of him. It was rather cold and depressing to look at, the likeness to his damaged soul a bit too real.

He turned over, not wanting to look at the reminder of his loneliness anymore. He took this time to survey his brother's room, anything to distract him from his dark thoughts, really.

Papyrus's room had a very...impersonal look to it, like it hadn't ever been lived in before, and Sans always felt out of place on the rare occasion that he entered his brother's room. Everything was neat, orderly, crisp, and Sans felt that if he moved even one thing an inch out of place, Papyrus would notice. This probably explained why he never went into the tall skeleton's bedroom unless he absolutely had to.

Lost in his thoughts, the small monster absentmindedly reached up and under his collar to trace the "P" on his clavicle. He still didn't know what that mark was about. However, his fingers froze in place once he realized what he was doing. His hand drifted upwards to rest on the collar laying there, and the heavy ache in his ribcage returned.

" _why did he put this on me?_ " Sans wondered, lost, eye lights studying the accessory like it might hold the answer to all his problems. " _does...does it mean he cares about me, even just a little?_ " he thought desperately. " _or does it mean that he only cares about himself?_ " He sighed, clutching the collar. " _he said that everyone needs to know that i belong to him...but in what way? is it just him being possessive? am i really only an object to him?_ " Sans curled his hands into fists a sudden burst of anger coming over him.

" _stars, i can't keep doing this to myself!_ he _can't keep doing this to me! it's just so...unbearable. one minute his hands are all over me, and the next, he's screaming that i'm a fuck-up!_ " Sans sat up, with much more ease than a few hours ago, and he grasped the collar angrily with both of his shaking hands. He hastily spun it around, trying to finish what he started without Papyrus there to interrupt him. " _it's better if i just take this damn thing off! then, i won't have to drive myself crazy over this!_ "

He fumbled with the buckle, lifting the prong up, and clumsily pulling the end of the loop through the frame. Sans was pulling the loop's hole through the prong when he hesitated as a fleeting thought passed through his mind. " _is he going to be mad at me when he finds out that i took this off?_ " However, he quickly shook the thoughts off. " _no. he already hates me, so what does it matter?_ "

The skeleton looked down at the red leather, and he rubbed the material between his thumb and fingers. It was sturdy, reassuring. " _still...he did give it to me...no! what am i thinking? i can't keep it!_ " Still, his hands didn't make any move to actually take the collar off.

He growled. " _why can't i just take the fucking thing off?!_ " he thought angrily.

" _because, deep down, i'm still clinging to that last shred of hope that he might care about me,_ " whispered a small part of his mind.

" _he doesn't fucking care about me,_ " Sans insisted vehemently. " _especially after that last fight. he hates me. i know he does. he doesn't care. he doesn't."_ His pupils quivered. " _he can't,_ " he whispered in a barely audible voice. Sans let his hands fall limply to his side before burying his face in them.

" _i can't do even one fucking thing right,_ " he thought miserably.

Letting his hands slide down from his face and onto the rim of the collar, Sans gave an exhausted sigh before quickly re-buckling the collar.

"i'm so weak," the skeleton whispered. Weak. The word that caused him so much grief. If he hadn't been so damn obsessed with trying to put on a brave face and show that he wasn't weak, pointless in the first place because he knew that Papyrus could read him like an open book, the whole argument would've been avoided.

But, instead, he fucked it up. Just like Papyrus said he would. The pathetically sad thing was, Sans already knew that what his brother had said was true. He just didn't like the cold, hard truth being cruelly screamed at him.

" _You deserve it,_ " the voice sounding an awful lot like Papyrus's.

Sans flinched, wrapping his arms around his knees from his position sitting on the bed. "i deserve it," he echoed, like it was so obviously true, like it was written in stone.

A sharp feeling of emptiness went through his stomach, and for a second, he thought that he was finally dying. It turned out to be his hunger, instead. Sans couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed.

He lay in bed, contemplating whether or not it was worth getting up, but his body made that choice for him, a growl (somehow?) coming from his nonexistent stomach.

Believe it or not, skeletons did need food. For them, the food was immediately converted into energy. It didn't necessarily have to taste good, but that was a plus. Because Sans hadn't had proper food for a good two days, it was no wonder he felt absolutely exhausted, that and the fact that he was already mentally drained. Drinking on an empty stomach probably wasn't the best idea, either.

Giving a weary sigh, Sans swung his legs over the bed, and they dangled there before he slid off the bed and onto the rug. Remembering that he didn't have his jacket on him, his eyes swept across the room, but there was still no jacket in sight. He felt his soul pick up its pace.

"a-alright, don't freak out. papyrus probably put it away. yeah," Sans mumbled, trying to reassure himself. With more motivation to go downstairs, Sans took a step forward, bones creaking in protest, but he ignored them and pressed on.

As he trudged towards the door, he glanced back before his eyes landed on the full-body mirror attached to the closet door. He stopped, fully turning around to face the mirror.

The reflection staring back at him looked disgustingly pathetic. Sans's posture was small and anxious looking, his brother's big shirt only emphasizing his shortness.

Sans was pretty big-boned compared to his brother, yet it made him look weaker in some way. Papyrus's body was very lean and agile, not to mention his height made him look intimidating as fuck. Sans's figure was short and stubby, intimidating absolutely no one, and his figure was one of the many things he hated about his body.

His eye lights shifted to his face. Deep shadows lay under his eye sockets, making him look exhausted and weary. His gaze travelled down his face and landed on his golden tooth.

The original tooth had been knocked out in a fight when he was younger, a fight that he had won, so he had found a scrap of gold in the Garbage Dump and fashioned it into a tooth (with a little help from his magic). It was the one thing he was slightly proud of because it had been a sign that he could survive in this merciless world.

Sans couldn't believe how naive he was back then.

The world they lived in was ruthless and relentless in a way that it could morph even the kindest, most believing soul into a malicious killer. There was no room for weakness. No room for Sans.

The skeleton shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts. He could save those thoughts for another day. Stars knows he had plenty of them.

Eye lights drifted downwards to rest on his neck. The spiked collar lay there, looking strangely right on him, like it belonged there, and he was finding it hard to imagine what he looked like without it on him. Sans reached up to run his fingers over it, but they accidentally brushed against the scratch on his clavicle, instead. He winced slightly, but, upon closer inspection, Sans realized they weren't just some nonsensical cuts. The mark's reflection looked like a "9", serving to confuse Sans even further, but, realizing the symbol would be flipped around in the mirror, he visualized the number flipped over. Suddenly, the weird "9" in the mirror made a lot more sense, and his eye sockets widened in shock as he realized the "9" was a capital "P". It was pretty clear as to where the mark came from.

" _what? why would he...?!_ " His eye lights darted back and forth, frazzled. "what the hell does all this mean?!" he couldn't help but shout, his voice cracking, and he gripped his skull in frustrated confusion. "first the collar and now this?! i thought it was just some tiny wound from last night, not a fucking...whatever-the-hell it is!"

"fuck! what should i do?!" Sans yelled, pacing back and forth in front of the mirror. "sh-should i heal it? should i leave it there?! does this mean that he wants me? or am i just being too desperate and clingy? what if i ask him about it? will he reject me and blow it off? i'd be better off just not asking him at all. i probably shouldn't even bring it up. if i do, will he heal it or not? do i _want_ it to be healed or not?" Sans paused. "he did mark me after all..." he trailed off, the thought alone enough to make him blush faintly. However, the second he felt his blush, he was cursing his stupidity, and he felt a flush of anger overpower his blush. Sans clenched his hands into fists in fury and scrunched up his eye sockets.

"SON OF A BITCH! what do i do?!" the poor skeleton screamed. He put his palms on the mirror, leaning against it, his breath coming out in labored pants, and tears of pure frustration formed at the edges of his eye sockets. As quickly as his anger had come, it was gone, instead replaced with a feeling of loss. "i'm so confused," Sans whispered. He rested his forehead on the glass, taking a moment to recollect himself, before pushing off of it and standing upright again.

He took the chance to glance at the mirror once more. There was a dim glow coming from his ribcage, his soul aglow with the intense emotions raging through him. Curiosity overcame him, and, lifting the oversized shirt up, Sans shakily reached under his ribcage to grab the soul residing there. He cupped the fragile heart in his chipped, scratched-up hands. It was as pathetic looking as the last time he saw it, if not worse. The tiny cracks had become a bit bigger, not too big, but enough to look pretty fucked up.

Sans couldn't help but stare, mesmerized, at the cracked heart in front of him. It was broken and pitiful looking, but it captivated him in some sick way. It was like he was staring at the source of all his problems.

In a daze, he unconsciously brushed his thumb over one the cracks. A sharp sensation of pain felt like it was slicing itself across his entire being, and, yet, he didn't make a sound or move a muscle (metaphorically, of course). Sans kept running his thumb over the cracks, the cracks that represented his failures, feeling their every indentation, pressing harder with every swipe. He could vaguely recognize the sheer agony that had consumed his entire being, but he couldn't find it in him to care all that much.

His movements became more aggressive, and he felt himself squeezing the soul in his hands until he could hardly breathe. Sans watched with rapt attention as the little soul in his palms lost what little color it had left, and its dim glow dimmed even further. The lights in his sockets long gone, Sans found his vision going black.

The collar on his neck brushed up against the "P" on his clavicle.

The blue* soul flickered.

Just like that, whatever sick, twisted trance had overcome him was broken.

Sans let go of his abused soul with a shuddering gasp.

He placed his hands on the carpeted floor he hadn't even realized he'd fallen onto. Tears he didn't know he had been holding back came rushing down his cheekbones like streams. "i...almost killed myself," he whispered hoarsely.

He really didn't know what horrible beast had come over him, but it absolutely _terrified_ him.

Red tears were dripping down his jaw and onto the floor, creating a glowing puddle of misery. The skeleton didn't know why he was crying so much. It was sad and weak, but he just felt so overwhelmed. He stayed there for a good solid ten minutes before taking a deep, shaky breath in and slowly letting it out.

Sans got up on trembling legs, stumbling backwards against the wall, and he leaned against it for a second or two as he steadied himself.

"jacket. right. the jacket," he murmured, taking a couple of unsteady steps towards the door once more. "one step at a time," he mumbled.

When he finally made it downstairs, Sans looked around the room before spotting the familiar fur of his hood. Letting out a relieved sigh, he quickly walked over to it, stumbling over his feet a few times in his haste. Grabbing it off the table, Sans hurriedly put on the still ripped jacket. The small monster closed his eyes, feeling a bit more at ease with the familiar weight resting on his frame once again. His jacket was almost like his own version of a security blanket, so it was no wonder he freaked out a bit when he thought it was lost.

He rubbed at his eyes tiredly. Shit, he really wanted to get these thoughts off his chest. A thought crossed his mind. "is my journal still intact?" Honestly, over the past couple of days he hadn't really given much thought to it with all the shit happening in his life.

Suddenly, his stomach rumbled, reminding him why he decided to get up and out of bed in the first place. He briefly debated whether he should have breakfast first or find his journal. He chose the latter, knowing that it would be better to write in it while his brother wasn't home.

Trudging back up the stairs, Sans entered the utterly destroyed room, surveying the burnt carpet until he found the piece with the little corner of it sticking up. He walked over to it and lifted it up to, surprisingly, see the journal still intact.

He picked it up, but he soon realized that he didn't have anything to write with. Giving a long-suffering sigh, Sans headed back towards Papyrus's room and entered it. Looking left and right, paranoid, he quickly scanned Papyrus's dresser, careful not to move anything from its place. "c'mon, with all the paperwork he does, he's gotta have a pen around here somewhere," he said. At long last, Sans found a pen, and he sat down on the bed, journal in hand.

He opened it to a clean page.

dear journal. it's been a long time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A lot of Underfell AUs have the skelebros' souls being red, but I like to think that each monster soul is different, including its color. That being said, everyone's soul is the same color as in the regular Undertale universe. 
> 
> I'm so happy I finally finished! I'm sorry if it feels a tad rushed, but I really wanted to get this chapter up! I hope you liked it, and thank you for all the little things that make my day! (*^-^*)


	11. The Leash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I've been sick for the last few days, and honestly, I didn't work on any of this story during last time. I tried to make this chapter at least longer that 2,500 words (it's around 3,800 words I think), but that took some extra time. Sorry for the longer wait, and thank you for all the amazing support! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, I might be writing a little Underfell fontcest oneshot because I've got a bunch of plot bunnies I've been wanting to write out. I really don't want this to feel like a job, so I'm gonna try to spice things up a bit and take a breather. Soooo the next chapter might be out later.

dear journal. it's been a long time. mostly because my room exploded and life's been hell. heh heh. for starters, i'm sleeping in the boss's room now, and it's been more than a little awkward to say the least. i'm actually writing this entry in his room right now, and i really hope he doesn't walk in to see me practically lounging on the bed without his permission.

i'm always worried that i'll overstep my boundaries or make one wrong move, and he'll kick me out. which is crazy, considering i was against sleeping here in the first place. but, uh, ever since that first night, i haven't had a nightmare since. it's been...a relief, like i can finally relax. although, i'm not sure how long i'll be allowed to stay here. see, boss and i had a really ugly fight earlier this morning because he thought that it was _my_ fault grillby got all handsy with me. but how could he possibly think i _wanted_ that?

it's just...stars, doesn't he know how ashamed i was? how ashamed i still am now? for fucks sake, papyrus dusted grillby in less than ten minutes! yet, i couldn't even bring his health down by a single point! damn it, i'm such a pathetic failure! maybe if i actually succeeded in something, boss would respect me more! but i'm sure that, if he ever had any respect for me, it's all gone anyway. stars, he probably fucking hates me even more than he already did, and for good reason, too!

i kept pushing and pushing even though he warned me not to, and it was about something so petty! i mean, going outside, really? i was in no condition to go outside, and him and i both knew it. he was just trying to help me out, but, no, i had to let my pride get in the way. now, everything is more messed up than it ever was, and he thinks that i want to fuck _grillby_!

the only one i've ever wanted to be close to is papyrus, but it's not like i can just tell him that. love, the real kind, isn't exactly accepted here. the only way monsters can possibly make it work is if they put up a strong front, so others won't attack them. take undyne and alphys for example. in public, they act like they don't even know each other, much less care about their partner, even if one of them gets hurt. but they have to. if they didn't, alphys would probably get kidnapped every five seconds to be used as blackmail material.

and i also think most of it depends on status, you know? for example, while doagamy and dogaressa are still members of the Royal Guard, they don't have to put up such an emotionless mask in front of everybody because they aren't as high status. if papyrus and i ever were a couple, which would never happen, i'd have to act like i didn't care about him at all because of his position as second-in-command, and i don't think i could do that. stars, whenever i see a new scratch him, i just want to brutally maim them.

add that to the fact that i'm not even sure if papyrus is gay for fucks sake. he could be as straight as a board, and here i am, hopelessly infatuated with him. how could anyone think that i like grillby when i'm so obviously attracted to him?

besides, the way grillby's magic felt when he was that close to me just felt wrong in every sense of the word. it was so hot and overwhelming; i could practically feel it crawling all over my soul. it was completely revolting. nothing like papyrus's. papyrus's magic feels warm, consuming, dangerous. absolutely fucking perfect, and i know it's so unsafe to think like this. in a world of kill or be killed, having such a huge weakness is bound to get me killed, but i can't help but be selfish. whenever he touches me, even if it's for only a few seconds, my soul feels a bit lighter.

i can still remember the way it felt to have his hands across my back, trying to heal my injuries. his magic is just so powerful; it's like it's sending intense waves of magic directly to my soul. even if he's just petting me (which sounds pretty embarrassing now that i write it out), it immediately calms me down. it's like this drug that i can't shake off, and i just want to...no. it doesn't matter anyway. i'll probably never get to feel that wonderful magic again... and all because i wanted to prove a point. stars, i'm such an idiot.

Sans let out a regretful sigh, but he continued on.

speaking of being an idiot, i also managed to blow up an entire potion of the house, which is always fun. i'm actually kinda surprised that boss wasn't angry with me for that. he should've been. after all, it was my fault. if i had been strong enough to defeat the dogs, then they wouldn't have blown the house up, and papyrus wouldn't have had to come in and do it for me. stars, i owe him so much.

heh, i don't even remember how many debts i owe him. let's see, he saved me from greater dog, and i teleported him away from the exploding house. then, he saved me from grillby. so, i owe him one life debt?

but it's not like i only saved him to get even. i would've saved him anyway, no matter what the consequences were. and i don't really mind owing him a life debt as much as i should. if it came down to it, i would do what he asked, regardless if he had something to hang over my head or not. it just sort of bothers me that he had to save my life at all. i'm supposed to be the big brother. it's supposed to be my job to protect him, but he always ends up doing my job for me. it's a wonder i'm allowed to live here at all since i'm so useless.

i mean, boss doesn't even let me pay the bills or at least pay some of them. it's not like i haven't volunteered to pay for them. i definitely have, but i always get shot down in some way. it probably has something to do with him not wanting to rely on me, but i feel like i'm just this extra weight he has to lug around.

and papyrus always says that i'm lazy, but then, he won't even let me do anything. he doesn't let me do the laundry, doesn't let me clean, doesn't let me cook. ...or, maybe, i'm just being a spoiled brat looking for an excuse to give up, so i won't have to deal with all the stress of actually trying to do anything and potentiality ruining our relationship even more. it's better if i just shut the fuck up and listen to boss, anyhow.

maybe that's why our relationship is so fucked up. i'm always acting like a lost puppy, following him around and never really doing anything. someone as strong as papyrus probably wants someone who can hold a conversation without stuttering every five seconds. he probably wants someone who can look after themselves. someone who he doesn't have to be burdened with.

it should all make sense... but then he put that collar on me. fuck, i still don't know what that means. it's so damn confusing! it wasn't exactly a pleasant surprise to wake up being choked by it, either. and what's with that "p" on my clavicle? it's kinda sensitive, as any scratch would be, and it doesn't look like an accidental injury. having it in that shape certainly isn't a coincidence, either. i know i just assumed papyrus made it, but now i'm having second thoughts. he wouldn't actually scratch his initial onto me...would he? i know he can get a little possessive, but still!

i contemplated taking the collar off and healing the scratch (even if i may not be as skilled at healing as papyrus, i can still heal a tiny scratch for fucks sake), but i just couldn't do it. heh, i guess i'm still clinging to that pathetic hope that it's actually a sign he cares. but what else could it mean? is it to warn off other monsters from trying the same thing as grillby? is it to show his...um...ownership over me?

Sans felt his face warm up; an embarrassing red covered his cheekbones as self-consciously ducked his head into the fur of his hood. The leather collar rubbed up against the mark on his collarbone, and he couldn't help but unconsciously shake his head back and forth slightly, liking the way the accessory moved and grazed the sensitive mark. He let the journal rest on his lap as he brought his hands up to hook his fingers around the collar, and he tugged on it, liking the solidity of it. It grounded him in some odd way.

Realizing what he was doing, his eyes widened, and he quickly straightened up, pulling his hands away from the collar as if burned. His blush spread throughout his entire face, and Sans hunched forward, toes curling in mortification. "really?" he mumbled, resigned. Then, he sighed, "stars, i'm pathetically hopeless." Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he got back to the task at hand.

either way, it has to mean he cares, even if it's only a little bit, right? i mean, if he didn't care, he wouldn't have bothered at all. that's probably why i couldn't take the collar off or heal the scratch earlier this morning. if i did, i feel like i'm rejecting him in some way. i don't know, it sounds stupid, but keeping them couldn't hurt, right?

i also can't help but notice the, uh, leash on the dresser. maybe he just found it with the collar and decided to bring it back. he wouldn't actually drag me around in public. no he wouldn't. c'mon, it's one thing to wear a collar, but a leash? out in the open where everyone can stare at me? jeeze, i'm getting anxious just writing it out. oh stars, if he did that i might crumble into dust right then and there.

Sans paused, brow bones furrowing. Writing that last sentence reminded him of something he had yet to write about, and he briefly contemplated not writing about it at all.

"no, i need to get this off my shoulders," he decided.

The skeleton took a deep breath in before slowly breathing out. Sans hesitantly put the pen back onto the paper and started writing what had occurred earlier that morning.

and, heh heh, speaking of that...

He fumbled with the pen in his hand, not exactly sure where to start. He decided to just go for it.

i tried to kill myself earlier this morning.

i don't exactly know how it happened. one minute i was looking at my soul, and, the next, i was crushing it in the palm of my hand. i guess when i saw it, so vulnerable and damaged, it seemed so easy to get rid of the source of my problems. there were tons of cracks in it, and i couldn't help but feel they represented all of my failures, like they were evidence of them. then i started running my fingers over the cracks; like i was punishing myself for all of the things i've fucked up. it felt... _liberating_ in some sick way. at that moment, dying and finally giving up was all i could think about. i kept thinking that it would be better for papyrus if i just offed myself right then and there. i didn't plan on stopping any time soon, and it was _terrifying_. but something knocked me out of it.

actually, i think it was the collar brushing up against the sensitive "p" on my clavicle. wow...holy fuck, if papyrus hadn't put the collar on me or marked me, i would've killed myself for sure. heh, boss sure is cool.

even if he saved my life indirectly, does that mean i owe him two life debts now? well, they really don't matter that much to me, anyhow. if papyrus wasn't there i would've given up a long time ago in the first place. he's the reason i'm still here; he's the reason that i'm still trying. i owe him so much more than a measly _two_ life debts. i pretty much owe him _everything_.

Sans reread the last few paragraphs and let out a relieved breath. It felt good to get those thoughts out.

anyways, after that whole wonderful event, i found my jacket i thought i had lost. i was really worried that it had gotten destroyed or some shit like that, so it was definitely a relief to see it folded neatly on the table downstairs. it seems so stupid to be this worried over a jacket of all things, but it's been a security blanket of sorts for me. and my soul is naturally cooler, so it's nice to be surrounded by a warm, fuzzy jacket all the time.

besides, even if i know it won't help anything, i feel like when i put my hood up, i'm protected somewhat. since no one else is going to protect me, my jacket is going to have to do... wow, that sounded really sad, even by my standards.

well, i might go downstairs and have breakfas-

Sans heard the door slam open.

He let out a shocked yelp and jumped. His claws clenched around the pen, and the ink exploded all over his fingers and the journal. Soul picking up its pace, Sans scrambled to put the still leaking pen into the journal before slamming it shut. Adrenaline was coursing through his bones, and, realizing he couldn't walk out of the room without Papyrus seeing him and the journal, he quickly teleported into his destroyed room.

Now, he could hear his brother's footsteps which only served to intensify his panic. His eye lights darted around for the loose piece of carpet before he dashed over to it. The skeleton practically ripped it off in his haste, and he shoved the journal in the floor and swiftly pushed the carpet back down.

Teleporting to the kitchen, he used his magic to lift him up to the sink. Sans then used his radius and ulna to turn on the faucet, so he wouldn't get ink on the tap. The second the water turned on, Sans shoved his ink-stained hands under it and started scrubbing at them furiously. Once he got off all that he could, he hurriedly pumped soap onto the palms of his hands and continued scrubbing harshly.

_"what the fuck is he doing home?! his shift isn't over, and it's way to early for any kind of break! hell, papyrus rarely takes any! why is he taking one right now?!"_ Sans internally screamed as he continued rubbing at his hands until only a slight dark stain was visible on his bones.

Deeming his hands clean enough, Sans looked down and checked his clothes to make sure they didn't have ink on them. To his immense relief, there was no ink on his shirt, and he let out a sigh as his soul slowly stopped its rapid beating. His posture slouched a bit as he relaxed, and he wiped his dripping hands on his shorts before stuffing them in his pockets. Sans lowered himself onto the kitchen floor just as the kitchen door swung open.

The short skeleton jumped a little, and he quickly whirled around to where his brother was standing.

Papyrus's assessing gaze focused on Sans, and said monster looked away uncomfortably. Awkward silence ensued.

The argument from earlier that morning flashed through his head, and Sans resisted the urge to pull his hood up to hide his shame. Several tense seconds passed by, and finally, Sans couldn't stand it any longer.

"i'm sorry, boss," he blurted out, looking everywhere but Papyrus.

"You didn't go outside?" Papyrus questioned mockingly as he completely ignored Sans's apology. He raised a brow bone, sneer evident in his voice.

Sans shrunk in on himself at the accusing question.

"i, uh...no," he finished lamely. "sorry," he whispered, staring at the floor intently.

"Hmph." More silence. "I assume you haven't had breakfast?" his brother asked coolly as he brushed past Sans and walked towards the refrigerator.

Sans shook his head. "i-i actually j-just came d-down for that," he replied, stuffing his hands back into his pockets as he stood there tensely.

Papyrus took out a tub full of left over spaghetti and a jar of tomato sauce. Sans almost offered to help, but he quickly shut his mouth. No way was he repeating that argument, and if Papyrus noticed it, he didn't say anything.

He set the food on the counter, and he took out a pot and a spaghetti server from the cabinet. The taller skeleton placed the items onto the stove, dumped the spaghetti and sauce into it, and turned on the heat.

Papyrus turned around and put an elbow on the counter, leaning on it far too casually. He blatantly stared at Sans, studying him.

Immediately noticing his brother's intense gaze on him, San quickly became anxious, and he squirmed a bit from his position standing in the middle of the kitchen.

"You kept the collar on?" Papyrus suddenly spoke up, and he gesturing to it.

Sans reflexively reached up to tug at the accessory. "uh, y-yeah. you said t-to keep i-it o-on so..." He awkwardly dropped his hands by his side and started fumbling with his shorts as he waited for Boss's response.

Papyrus made a barely audible hum of approval before turning back around and stirring the spaghetti with the spaghetti server. "Go wait on the couch for me. There's no use for you to just be standing here. I'll bring the food over once it's done," he ordered without looking back.

"okay, boss," Sans murmured, and he walked over to the couch before flopping onto his end. The smaller brother put his elbow on the arm of the couch, and he rested his chin on his fist. He flipped his other hand around and looked at his palm, studying the scratches and chips on it. "i still have to ask boss why he's here this early," Sans muttered.

"Because I forgot to eat breakfast," Papyrus answered coldly from right in front of him. "I wouldn't have forgotten, either, if it weren't for the little argument we had this morning."

Sans flinched at the harsh and truthful statements, and he looked up to see his brother offering the bowl of pasta to him rather impatiently. Sans was quick to snatch it up, not wanting to keep Papyrus waiting. "thanks...boss," he tried; the attempt sounding pathetic, even to his lazy-ass. Sans hunched his shoulders forward and tried to disappear into his jacket as he picked at his food.

Papyrus ignored his thanks, and Sans didn't know if it was just him being him or if he was still mad at him. Probably both. Sans held back a miserable sigh.

Deciding he really needed some food in his system, Sans picked up his fork and started eating the spaghetti. Just as he was about to take a bite, his stomach gave an embarrassingly loud growl, and he instantly froze. Magic rushed to his cheekbones, and dared to risk a glance at Papyrus. Papyrus was sitting in his battle body, looking intimidating and fearsome as fuck, even when eating spaghetti, and here he was, sounding like an undignified slob.

"excuse me," he said in a small voice. Resuming his previous actions and making sure his stomach wasn't going to growl, Sans started eating the pasta that tasted like heaven right now. He forgot that he hadn't had decent food in the last couple of days, and this was just what he needed. However, he refrained from shoveling the food into mouth. He knew that Papyrus was sitting on the other side of the couch, and he felt as if he was being judged for every move he made.

Papyrus finished before him, and he put his dishes in the sink before heading upstairs. Paranoia overtook him for a few seconds, and he briefly panicked, wondering if Papyrus might find his journal. Sans shook his head and brushed off the ridiculous idea. Papyrus didn't even know he had a journal for fucks sake.

He finished his spaghetti and somehow managed to put the dishes into the ridiculously high sink. When he walked back into the living room, he froze.

Papyrus was holding a golden chain with a red leather loop attached to the end of it. The leash.

"u-uh, b-boss?" Sans inquired, trying and failing to keep the rising panic out of his voice.

"Yes, Sans?" Papyrus asked back as he turned to fully face his brother.

"wha-what are y-you g-going to d-do with t-that?" Sans started slowly backing away towards the front door.

"Don't be so dense. I'm going to put it on you, obviously." The Royal Guardsman began calmly advancing twice as fast, hook between his fingers.

Humiliating scenarios flashed through his mind, and Sans felt the familiar sansation of anxiety clenching at his soul. He started to sweat, never taking his eyes off the predator advancing towards him. _"fuck no. fuck no fuck no fucknonononono,"_ he repeated the phrase like some sacred mantra, and his panic escalated drastically.

_"waterfall. that's where i'll teleport. waterfall,"_ Sans tried to concentrate on the image of Waterfall. Its glowing rivers and enchanting Echo Flowers appeared in his mind, and he gathered his magic, preparing to teleport. Right as he was about to blip out of Snowdin, claws hooked around the ring in the front of his collar, effectively stopping him.

Before he even had time to process what just happened, the leash was hooked around his collar with a click.

Papyrus gave a cocky smirk before striding past Sans and opening the front door. Sans stood, paralyzed, and Papyrus's grin simply grew wider as he have the leash a firm tug. This seemed to knock Sans out of it as he clumsily stumbled forward, almost knocking headfirst into his brother's back.

Papyrus took his time to survey the town, and he let out a refreshed sigh. He tried to keep the malicious smile from showing on his face, especially since he was in public. This would teach his brother a lesson or two. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stars, what even is this chapter? I've read the same 3,800 words so many times, and after a while, it makes it really hard to do anything but not like it. I don't want a beta because I don't trust anyone with my story, but at the same time, I'm worried it's gonna be shit. Not a lot really happened in this chapter? And the journal part seems kinda OOC, but at some parts, not as much? Ughhhhh, this is why I need to just step back, write a cute little oneshot, and come back to this. This chapter was a lot more stressful than I intended it to be, and by now, I'm just done with it haha. But I sincerely hope I didn't let you down, and it didn't seem worse than the other chapters.


	12. A Game Changer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahaha...sooooo long time no see. Heheh. PleasedontkillmeIwanttolive. Okay, but seriously, it's been what? A month? Holy fuck. Guys, I'm so fucking sorry. I know this keeps happening, but I feel like shit every time it does. Writing this has been exhausting and hard, ridiculously hard. It doesn't help that my week's been crap either, but hey, I'M FINISHED.
> 
> People have been so understanding and amazing, and you guys are the best! I really don't deserve it, but thank you so much!

Sans was really starting to wish he'd offed himself earlier that morning.

This was...this was the one of the worst things that had ever happened to him. Although, he was sure that if he really thought about it, he could come up with much worse things that had happened to him. Things like almost destroying his soul not even a couple of hours ago. But right now, standing in the doorway, seeing how many people were walking around the town, he was sure that this would be his undoing.

The safety of their living room was only a step behind him, and he wanted nothing more than to retreat into the house and forget that this had ever happened. He had half the mind to unbuckle the collar that caused the situation in the first place, but his arms were at his side, paralyzed, like the rest of his body.

Papyrus didn't even look back at him as he strode forward, shoulders back, spine straight. The leash was pulled taut, and Sans stumbled out of the doorway and into the snow. The tall skeleton seemed to take his time as he leisurely walked into the street and took a right.

A hush fell over the town as the pair walked out onto the main path. Sans's hands started to shake as he felt all the questioning, judging stares being directed at them. He miserably dragged his feet through the snow, and his trembling hands fumbled with his hood, trying to discreetly put it up over his face even though it felt like he was being judged for his every movement. Once he managed to put his hood up, he felt a little better with it covering most of his face.

And even though his view was hindered because of the hood, that didn't mean he couldn't hear the scornful whispers behind his back. Hell, there were monsters in front of him that were gossiping. At least the ones behind him had enough decency to do it behind his back.

His hands curled into tight fists, claws embedding themselves into his already marred palms, and he was sure the residents of Snowdin could see the way they shook anxiously. Sans was also sure that anyone listening close enough could hear the terrified rattling of his bones, and the way his soul was beating like an unrelenting drum. The usually-loud town was silent except for the ruthless whispers and the crunch of the pure, white snow beneath their shoes. It was enough to make him want to just dissolve into a pile dust, blending into the fluffy white powder, unseen and unnoticed.

The still-walking skeleton was clammy all over, despite the freezing atmosphere around him. He had his head down, trying to block out the world, when he clumsily stumbled over himself. His arms flailed for an utterly horrifying moment before he staggered forward and regained his balance, and he could've sworn that Papyrus's pace sped up just slightly in that moment.

A mortified blush made its way to his face as a mix of relief and anxiety consumed his entire being; relief at not falling on his face and anxiety about what could've happened if he had tripped and fallen on his face. Countless scenarios flashed through his mind: Him falling and Boss continuing to walk as he struggled to get back up, the whole town laughing at his expense. Him tripping and Papyrus stopping and making a huge scene out of it. Him crashing headfirst into the snow with his brother just dropping the leash entirely and walking away from him like the useless waste of space that he was.

That familiar ache of pain filled his entire chest, making it feel like his breath was being stolen away from him, and he ground his sharp teeth together until he heard them creak under the stress. His anxiety chipped away at him from the inside out as his eye lights slowly got smaller and dimmer, barely noticeable at all. His trembling increased until it was painfully obvious, and he stuffed his fists into his jacket pockets to hide the tremors in his hands.

The walk continued at the same painstakingly slow pace, leaving Sans plenty of time to think about his current situation. Monsters were giving them weird looks, and he could feel their disgusted glares burning holes into his soul. They were probably wondering how anyone could let someone do this to them; that surely Sans must have wanted to be dragged around in public like a dog or else he would've been fighting back.

Sans gnashed his fangs together in barely suppressed fury. They couldn't possibly comprehend the complicated, fucked up mess that was their relationship. Yet, they stood there with their judging stares and unforgiving whispers like they knew everything there was to know about him. That or they didn't care to know before making assumptions, and that only fueled his anger even more.

The seething skeleton was suddenly overcome with the urge to dust all of them. To surround himself with Gaster Blasters and just get rid of those judging looks. He wanted to make them forget this whole embarrassing event, and if wiping them all out was the solution, he would be more than happy to do it.

His eye flared up, hidden by his fur-lined hood, as his gaze traveled up the leash and focused on the figure ahead of him. For a second, Sans didn't see his brother. All he could see was his tormentor holding the source of all his anxiety in the palm of his hand, and he wanted nothing more than to rip it out of his grasp and make him feel all-no, twice-the misery he was feeling right now. Sans's murderous glare crept up the gloved hand holding the leash until it met the signature scar over his eye socket. Papyrus. Just like that, the genocidal urge melted away, leaving behind weary resignation and a feeling of hopelessness and shock.

 _"what the actual fuck is wrong with me?!"_ he internally screamed, almost tripping again, _"he's my brother for the love of asgore! did i just...fantasize about killing him?!"_ Thoroughly rattled, his shaking got noticeably worse as he shuffled through the snow. Of course, his mind wouldn't give him a rest, and he couldn't help it as his dim eye lights darted from left to right nervously. His paranoia had him feeling like everyone noticed that his shaking had gotten worse, and his breaths got shorter, coming out more like gasps.

 _"stars, i can't do this right fucking here. everyone's staring at me. just take deep, calming breathes, but don't make it noticeable."_ Obviously, his attempts at calming down were unsuccessful because why would anything ever work out for him? Needless to say, if he had believed in any gods, then he would be flicking them off right now. After hyperventilating (discreetly, of course) for a good five fucking minutes, his mini-freak out was interrupted when he ran head first into Papyrus's unforgiving battle body.

Sans stumbled back, and he ducked his head ever-so-slightly, fearing that Papyrus would yell at him in front of the whole town. However, his brother did something much worse.

The tall skeleton stopped at the entrance of the shop by the inn, and he turned around, giving Sans a smirk. Said monster paled in response and shrunk in on himself, knowing that expression on his brother could only mean bad things. With a smug upwards tilt of his head, Papyrus summoned a tall bone up through the ground, and he proceeded to drop the handle of the leash through it.

Sans could only look at him with wide, shocked eye sockets.

Papyrus's grin grew sadistically. "Stay," he ordered mockingly before turning on his heel and entering the shop.

His brother had just left him for dead.

The small skeleton stood there, frozen in shock, and he probably would've stayed like that if it wasn't for the whispers from behind him that slowly started getting louder. Anxiety won over his shock, and Sans unsteadily walked towards the bone embedded in the ground and leaned against it, facing away from the gossiping monsters. He tipped his head down as he tried to hide his face behind his hood, like that would protect him somehow.

Now that Papyrus was gone, the whispers only got louder.

"Why the hell does he have a leash and a collar on him?"

"I have no idea. Do you think it's some sort of weird-ass kink?"

_"why is this happening to me?"_

"Is he just going to stand there and wait for Papyrus to come back?"

"Yeah, it seemed like he hated it, so why wouldn't he take the collar off and run away?"

"What, are you kidding me? If Papyrus was my brother, I wouldn't dare to run away. He'd probably just hunt me down and torture me."

"...Do you think he rapes Sans?"

Sans's posture tensed, and he froze as his eye lights completely disappeared. After processing what had been said, his left eye flickered before burning fiercely with murderous, embarrassed fury. _"don't you dare talk about my brother like that, you fucking ignorant bastards. he hasn't ever laid a hand on me, and he's stronger than you'll ever hope to be. i should murder you just for even daring to whisper that."_ Planning to turn around and obliterate them, Sans straightened up, and the collar's hook rubbed up against the ring in the front, giving a little "clink". The sound had him stopping in his tracks.

Memories of Papyrus manhandling him that night at Grillby's, telling him what a failure he was, flashed through his head. He remembered his nightmares of his younger brother dusting him, and the leash was a harsh reminder that Papyrus had forced him into this situation in the first place.

The indignant anger slowly drained out of him, and he more or less collapsed against the bone, resuming his position. He shook his head as if trying to get rid of the negative thoughts. Boss was just doing this for his own good, right? Right. Sans was no better than those other gossiping scumbags if he continued to think this way. He shouldn't question Papyrus. After all, he was just doing this for his own good. Take right now for example; if Sans had had his back to these monsters without the leash, he would've been attacked immediately. Now that they knew that he was ~~Papyrus's property~~ with Papyrus, they didn't even dare to mess with him.

Sans instantly felt disgusted with himself. Of course his brother was looking out for him. Papyrus does all this work for him, and Sans pays him back by doubting him and wanting to _dust_ him. Stars, why did his brother even put up with an ungrateful little shit like him? The more that he though about about, the more he realized that he really did deserve this. All the anxiety and the humiliation was just his well-deserved punishment for all his fuck-ups, especially getting wasted at Grillby's. That and he somehow managed to convince Papyrus that he was fuck buddies with the bartender.

The whispers around him continued. "I heard that he dusted Greater Dog, but that has to be a rumor. I mean, look at him. He looked like he was about to pass out just a few minutes ago. Fucking pathetic."

_"yeah, it is, isn't it?"_

"Why does Papyrus even tolerate him? Is it because they're brothers? It must be."

_"that's pretty much the only reason he keeps me alive, yeah. i'm sure i'd be more useful as exp though."_

"He looks so weak."

"Would he really be worth the EXP? Surely, he wouldn't give you that much."

"He's just so...small and breakable compared to his brother."

"I kind of pity Papyrus. He's stuck with this 1 HP monster. If it were me, I would've just killed him already."

Sans clenched his fingers together from inside his pockets and curled inwards like he was trying to disappear.

 _"no,"_ he thought quietly, subtly shaking his head as he tried in vain to convince himself, _"i'm more than what you think. i am. i..."_ Maybe if he lied to enough himself he'd start to believe it.

The weak skeleton gave a deep, trembling sigh, surprised to find his throat clogged the way it usually was when he was about to cry. He had never been self-confident, and to have his insecurities practically spat at him was not helping him any.

A wave of exhaustion hit him, and he closed his eye sockets tiredly, sagging against the bone in the ground. Pangs of seemingly never-ending pain filled his chest, and his toes curled up as the desire to shrink in on himself until he was completely gone overpowered him. He cracked open an eye socket as he desperately glanced at the shop that Papyrus had yet to come out of, anxiously awaiting his ~~tormentor~~ brother.

More whispers came from the relentless gossipers, and Sans almost covered his ear holes (but stopped himself at the last moment because the action would attract too much attention) in an attempt to block them out.

It felt like he was the only one on stage in a full house, performing a play where he didn't know any of the lines, and his brother was the director. The spotlight shining down on him was trying to swallow him whole, and he so desperately wanted someone ~~(Papyrus?)~~ to save him.

He reached up to massage his temples in frustration. His thoughts were all over the place, constantly contradicting themselves. On one hand, he knew he deserved this, but he couldn't help but be selfish and want it to just stop already. He was also torn between forcing the monsters to shut up or taking his punishment like he should.

Stress and confusion overwhelmed his mind, and he didn't know what to think anymore. Sans took his fists out of his pockets and he unclenched them with some difficulty, the claws having embedded themselves deep enough to draw marrow. However, he welcomed the pain it brought, anything to distract him from where he was now.

Sans looked down at his palms, actually taking time to assess them now that he needed something to do.

The first thing that stood out to him was, obviously, the bright red marrow seeping out his hands, but Sans could easily get past that and see the scars and scratches that littered his otherwise pure white bones. He didn't know when it had become a nasty habit to chip away at his palms when he was anxious, but now, it was just something that he did. The little sting of pain gave him something to focus on other than his rising anxiety. It was almost therapeutic in an odd sort of way, and he didn't plan on stopping anytime soon. Usually his scratches and cuts healed within a few days (much slower that a normal monster's because of his low HP). But sometimes reality hurt too much, and Sans had to reduce the pain in his chest by adding more scars to his palms. It was almost as if he was transferring some of his pain. And anyone would take physical pain over emotional pain.

The deep, vicious holes in his hands were a testament to how shitty his day had been going, and it wasn't even 9:00 yet.

The miserable skeleton dipped a claw into the marrow, and he lazily dragged it across his hand, creating a drawing. Sans's brow bones furrowed in concentration as he slowly drew a heart shape, filling it in with more marrow. Impulsively, he gradually closed his hand into a fist around the design. He opened his fist and was surprised to see that it hadn't shattered before he cursed himself for his own stupidity. Then, he proceeded to clumsily wipe it away as marrow smeared all over both his hands.

Sans stuffed them into his pockets and leaned against the bone his leash was looped around, tilting his head back as he tried to clear his head and collect his thoughts.

Peeking his left eye open, he dared to turn around and glance at the other monsters. Many were huddled in their own little groups, not-so-quietly whispering amongst themselves.

Sans tried to not let the words effect him, he really did, but that ache in his ribcage just wouldn't go away no matter how hard he tried. He put his head back down with a weary sigh. As long as they weren't saying anything bad about Papyrus, he wouldn't take any action.

 _"it doesn't matter what they say about me,"_ he attempted to convince himself. _"i deserve all of it, but if they start trash talking boss, then i'll defend him,"_ he thought, posture straightening slightly in determination. _"it's the least i can do."_

Just as he was working up a tiny amount of confidence, Papyrus slammed open the shop door, and a smug grin made its way to his face when he saw that Sans hadn't moved.

Papyrus strutted over to where the short skeleton was frozen in apprehension, and he dematerialized the bone with a flick of his hand, grabbing the handle of the leash. His eyes flared with sadistic joy as he leaned down ever-so-slightly until he was eye-to-eye with Sans, and he pushed his trembling brother's hood down before placing a gloved hand on top of the shorter's head. He started petting his still-paralyzed brother. "Such a good boy," he announced mockingly, loud enough for the whole town to hear.

Sans automatically leaned into Papyrus's touch before he froze as a mortified blush lit up his entire face. He flinched away from the other skeleton's hand, and he turned away, flipping his hood back up in shame.

He could practically feel the other's amused smirk being directed at him.

Sans tilted his skull down, hoping the shadow his hood cast over his face would hide his furrowed brow bones and hurt frown.

Oblivious (or careless more likely) to his brother's miserable state, Papyrus walked towards the main path, head held high, and he turned right to exit the town.

Sans obediently, if a bit reluctantly, trailed after Papyrus as he tried to make himself as invisible as possible.

 _"they must think i'm even more pathetic than they originally thought. stars, that was so humiliating. he was praising me like a pet, and having me lean into his touch didn't help change their minds. if anything, it reinforced the idea that i'm just a weak, 1 hp toy."_ He sluggishly dragged his shoes through the fluffy snow while he was led out of the small town, and he dared to glance up at the inhabitants of said town. His gaze was met with condescending stares and thinly veiled sneers, making Sans ask himself why he even bothered looking for any other response.

He put his head back down.

 

* * *

 

The collared skeleton had gotten a lot of...interesting looks from the members of the dog pack on his way to his sentry station. Whenever they passed one of the dogs in their respective stations, the canines would first stare at the leash, then at the collar, then at Sans, and finally at Papyrus. Something like respect would flash in their eyes which was then followed by anger and frustration.

Sans really had no idea what any of it was about, but he didn't care enough to make the effort to go over to them and find out. Besides, that would just be asking for another huge fight, and he didn't want Boss to have another reason to add to his list on why he barely tolerated Sans.

When the skeleton brothers had finally arrived at their destination, Sans was beyond relieved. In fact, he practically ran over to the wooden station, situating himself onto the stool. Here, there were no monsters to gawk at him, and the leash was going to be taken off him as it was no longer needed.

Papyrus reached for the golden hook to do just that, and the shorter monster jerked his chin up eagerly.

The Royal Guardsman rolled his eyes (as best he could) in exasperation and gave an annoyed scowl.

"It wasn't that bad. Really now, Sans, you're just being dramatic," he huffed, none-too-gently unhooking the leash from the collar, causing Sans to lurch forward and almost fall off the stool.

Turning away from his brother and resting his head on his arms, Sans's shoulders sagged at Papyrus's choice of words, but the small skeleton said nothing.

"I expect that you'll be home in time for dinner, and if you're not, then I'll just have to drag you home. Do you understand, Sans?"

Said skeleton gave a small nod against his folded arms. "yes, boss," he mumbled.

"Hm." Papyrus ran his hand over Sans's skull once more. "Good boy."

This time, Sans tried to restrain himself, and he forced himself not to react. He tensed up, staying still until his already weak resolve broke, and he tilted his head up to feel more of that amazing touch. Just as he was beginning to nuzzle his skull into the palm of his younger brother's hand, Papyrus withdrew and turned on his heel without a word, swiftly walking away, a sly grin on his face as he did so.

Sans sighed in resigned disappointment before settling his chin back on his crossed arms.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus arrived back at their house and headed straight for Sans's destroyed room. He was never one for slacking off, unlike some monsters, but he reasoned that five or ten minutes out of his shift wouldn't be that bad. It was important, and he would work overtime to make up the lost time, anyway.

Once he had convinced himself that he was doing the responsible thing, Papyrus opened the door and walked right over to the patch of carpet that contained his brother's secrets.

Crouching down, he lifted up the carpet and grabbed the diary from its hiding place. Then, he swiftly exited the room, closing the door, and he entered his own before shutting and locking the door behind him.

Papyrus sat down on his bed, and he instinctually glanced around suspiciously until he realized what he was doing and resisted the urge to face palm himself.

Shaking his head at his own ridiculousness, he reminded himself what he was doing and opened the diary to the most recent entry.

dear journal. it's been a long time. mostly because my room exploded and life's been hell. heh heh. for starters, i'm sleeping in the boss's room now, and it's been more than a little awkward to say the least. i'm actually writing this entry in his room right now, and i really hope he doesn't walk in to see me practically lounging on the bed without his permission.

Papyrus growled. Sans better have not had his shoes on. He would have to wash the sheets just to make sure.

i'm always worried that i'll overstep my boundaries or make one wrong move, and he'll kick me out. which is crazy, considering i was against sleeping here in the first place. but, uh, ever since that first night, i haven't had a nightmare since. it's been...a relief, like i can finally relax.

He smirked and let out a smug "Nyeh heh heh!". Sans really should be grateful that he had such a great brother.

although, i'm not sure how long i'll be allowed to stay here. see, boss and i had a really ugly fight earlier this morning because he thought that it was my fault grillby got all handsy with me. but how could he possibly think i ••••••••••••

The tall skeleton frowned in confusion. Something was blocking the word. Upon closer inspection, Papyrus realized that it was a blotch of ink. "What the hell?" he mumbled. No matter how hard he tried to make out the words, he couldn't see past the ink. "What the fuck did Sans write?" he muttered frustratedly. Nevertheless, he continued to read the entry and maybe figure out what Sans meant.

it's just...stars, doesn't he know how ashamed i was? how ashamed i still am now?

Why?

for fucks sake, papyrus dusted grillby in less than ten minutes! yet, i couldn't even bring his health down by a single point!

Oh. _"Well it was pretty weak,"_ Papyrus mused scornfully.

damn it, i'm such a pathetic failure! maybe if i actually succeeded in something, boss would respect me more!

_"But my brother has already succeeded in a lot of things."_ he thought sarcastically. _"For example, being lazy, being a slob, not picking up his socks, going to that greasy pub night after night (not any longer nyeh heh heh), slacking off, getting into trouble, being a huge target for literally every fucking monster in the Underground! The list goes on and on really."_

but i'm sure that, if he ever had any respect for me, it's all gone anyway. stars, he probably fucking hates me even more than he already did, and for good reason, too!

Papyrus paused at that statement. Sure, he thought Sans was a weak little shit, but did he really hate him? ...He stored that thought away for another time.

i kept pushing and pushing even though he warned me not to, and it was about something so petty! i mean, going outside, really? i was in no condition to go outside, and him and i both knew it. he was just trying to help me out, but, no, i had to let my pride get in the way.

_"Nyeh heh heh! The Great Papyrus is always right! At least Sans came to his senses, even if it was too late."_

now, everything is more messed up than it ever was, _and_ ••••••••••••• i want to fuck _grillby_!

the only one i've ever wanted to be close to is ••••••••

Papyrus scowled in irritation as the words were blocked out yet again. He curiosity was only growing, and he was surprised to realize how badly he wanted to know who Sans cared about. He scoffed at the troublesome thought and brushed it off as nothing.

but it's not like i can just tell him that. love, the real kind, isn't exactly accepted here. the only way monsters can possibly make it work is if they put up a strong front, so others won't attack them. take undyne and alphys for example. in public, they act like they don't even know each other, much less care about their partner, even if one of them gets hurt. but they have to. if they didn't, alphys would probably get kidnapped every five seconds to be used as blackmail material.

The tall skeleton monster nodded in agreement after some thought. Undyne and Alphys did have to put up a wall around themselves if they wanted to survive. But did that mean Sans loved whoever he was talking about? For whatever reason, Papyrus didn't like the sound of that at all, and he could feel his agitation start to rise. _"Well,"_ he thought as he tried to reason through it, _"He is mine. He belongs to me, and I absolutely detest sharing. In fact, if I find out who Sans cares so deeply about, I'll just have to give them a..._ friendly _warning not to get anywhere near my brother. It's only practical that this monster knows who Sans belongs to first and foremost, after all."_ Satisfied with his thoughts, he resumed his reading.

and i also think most of it depends on status, you know? for example, while doagamy and dogaressa are still members of the Royal Guard, they don't have to put up such an emotionless mask in front of everybody because they aren't as high status•••••papyrus and i••••••••••••• •••••••••••••• would never happen••••••••••• ••••••••••••i didn't care about him at all because of his position as second-in-command, and •••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••••stars,••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••••••••••i just want to brutally maim••••••••••• •••••••••him.

The Royal Guardsman's eyes flared red as he read the paragraph over just to make sure what he had read the first time was correct. He forced himself to loosen his grip, so that his claws didn't pierce right through the diary. He knew that the ink stains were covering most of the words, so Papyrus forced himself to act rationally. _"Sans could've been writing about something completely different,"_ he tried to convince himself. _"And yet...he could've written something much worse."_ He huffed in pure frustration and glanced at the paragraph once more. _"Why do I even care that much? He's just my useless slob of a brother!"_ Annoyed that his reassurances did nothing to reassure him, Papyrus took a deep breath to calm himself down before returning to the entry.

••••••••••••• •••••••••••i'm••••••••• sure••••••••••• is gay for fucks sake. he could be as•••••••as a••••• and here i am, hopelessly infatuated with him.•••••••••••••• ••••••••••••••i like grillby •••••i'm so obviously attracted to him••••••

Whatever calmness he had mustered up was transformed into fury as his eyes burned crimson, and he let out a menacing growl. He fucking knew it. If Grillby wasn't already dead, he would've marched right over to the disgusting pub and dusted him right then and there.

besides, the way grillby's magic felt when he was that close to me just felt•••••••in every sense of the word. it was so hot and overwhelming; i could practically feel it••••••••••all over my soul. it was completely••••••••••. nothing like papyrus's. papyrus's magic feels•••••• consuming, dangerous. absolutely fucking••••••••••• ••••••••it's so unsafe to think like this. in a world of kill or be killed, having such a huge weakness is bound to get me killed, but i can't help but be selfish. whenever he touches me, even if it's for only a few seconds, my soul feels a bit lighter.

His breaths were coming out in harsh puffs, and he dropped the diary onto his lap to avoid puncturing it with his claws. The tall skeleton's fangs curled into an ugly sneer. "That ungrateful little FUCKER!" he snarled out in rage as his fists slammed on the bed he was sitting on. The plush comforter cushioned their impact, and suddenly, it wasn't enough. He wanted impale someone, to crush them, to utterly destroy them until they were nothing but dust.

His teeth were clenched together aggressively. _"Fine. If Sans finds my magic that repulsive, then he can fucking heal himself! See if I care."_ The diary on his lap laid there tauntingly. His eye sockets narrowed. "Let's see what other secrets you've been keeping from me, _brother_ ," he spat out the last word like venom.

i can still remember the way it felt to have his hands across my back, trying to••••••••••• •••••his magic is just so powerful; it's like it's sending intense waves of magic directly to my soul. even if he's just petting me (which sounds pretty embarrassing now that i write it out), it immediately calms me down. it's like this drug that i can't shake off, and i just want to...no. it doesn't matter anyway. i'll probably never get to feel that wonderful magic again...•••••••••••••• ••••••••••••• ••••••••••••••stars, i'm such an idiot.

If Papyrus had had any doubt about who Sans was talking to, he knew for sure now. And he was shaking with murderous rage. _"How dare that scumbag put his filthy hands anywhere on Sans! He. Is. Fucking. MINE. I OWN him, and no one is allowed to touch my property!"_ However, he stopped mid-rant as a hideous thought came to mind, and he sneered. _"I bet my worthless brother enjoyed it too. Well that's just too fucking bad, isn't it? Because Grillby is dead, and now Sans has nobody to fuck but himself. Honestly, it's a wonder he even got someone to touch him like that. Grillby must've been disgustingly desperate,"_ he thought scornfully, but there was a bitterness in his thoughts that he purposefully ignored.

speaking of being an idiot,•••also managed to blow up an entire potion of the house, which is always fun. i'm actually kinda surprised that••••••wasn't angry with••••for that. he should've•••••••• ••••••••• ••••••••fault. if•••had been strong enough to defeat the dogs, then they wouldn't have blown the house up, and papyrus wouldn't have had to••••••••••• •••••••••• ••••••••owe•••••so much.

_"Wait a second... Is he saying it's my fault that the house blew up?!"_ He gave an agitated scowl. _"When I see that whiny little bitch..."_

heh, i don't even know how many debts i owe him. let's see, he saved me from greater dog, and i teleported him away from the exploding house. then, he••••••••••• ••••••••••so, i owe him one life debt?

but•••••••••••i only saved him to get even. i would've••••••him•••••••••••• •••••••••••the consequences were. and i••••••••••mind owing him a life debt as much as i should. if it came down to it, i would do what he asked•••••••••••if he had something to hang over my head••••••it just sort of bothers me that he had to save my life at all. i'm supposed to be the big brother. it's supposed to be my job•••••••••••, but he always ends up doing my job for me. it's a wonder i••••••••••live here at all since•••••••••••••

He closed his eye sockets over his glowing red pupils as he took deep, shaking breaths, trying to get his fury under control. Fucking hell, he just wanted to...to absolutely _explode_ right in Sans's face. He wanted lift him up by his leather collar and throw him right back onto the ground where he belonged.

i mean, boss doesn't even let me pay the bills or at least pay some of them. it's not like i haven't volunteered to pay for them. i definitely have, but i always get shot down in some way. it probably has something to do with him not wanting to rely on me, but i feel like i'm just this extra weight he has to lug around.

_"Oh, well I wonder why I wouldn't want to rely on you. Especially since I know for a fact that you've been fucking that filthy bartender behind my back, and then having the audacity to try and deny it. Hm, I wonder why,"_ he thought with vicious sarcasm lacing every word.

and papyrus always says that i'm lazy, but then, he won't even let me do anything. he doesn't let me do the laundry, doesn't let me clean, doesn't let me cook. ...or, _maybe_ , i'm just being a spoiled brat looking for an excuse to give up, so i won't have to deal with all the stress of actually trying to do anything and potentiality ruining our relationship even more. it's better if i just shut the fuck up and listen to boss, anyhow.

Papyrus scoffed at the ridiculous words. _"It's a little too late to for that, Sans. And besides, you can't ruin a relationship if there's not one to begin with,"_ his comments had turned bitter and snide, his previous rage turning into harsh cruelty.

maybe that's why our relationship is so fucked up. i'm always acting like a lost puppy, following him around and never really doing anything. someone as strong as papyrus probably wants someone who can hold a conversation without stuttering every five seconds. he probably wants someone who can look after themselves. someone who he doesn't have to be burdened with.

_"That's not really the fucking problem. You see, the problem is that you are an ungrateful, disloyal piece of shit that I shouldn't have to deal with,"_ Papyrus growled out.

it should all make sense... but then he put that collar on me. fuck, i still don't know what that means. it's so damn confusing! it wasn't exactly a pleasant surprise to wake up being choked by it, either. and what's with that "p" on my clavicle? it's kinda sensitive, as any scratch would be, and it doesn't look like an accidental injury. having it in that shape certainly isn't a coincidence, either. i know i just assumed papyrus made it, but now i'm having second thoughts. he wouldn't actually scratch his initial onto me...would he? i know he can get a little possessive, but still!

He rolled his eyes scornfully. _"Can you blame me? After choosing Grillby over me, everyone needs to know that you're my property, and that anyone who touches you is as good as dead. That way, we won't be running into any more of these situations. As for my initial etched into your clavicle, well, that's just a little reminder that anymore monsters won't be touching you for a very long time."_

i contemplated taking the collar off and healing the scratch (even if i may not be as skilled at healing as papyrus, i can still heal a tiny scratch for fucks sake), but i just couldn't do it. heh, i guess i'm still clinging to that pathetic hope that it's actually a sign he cares. but what else could it mean? is it to warn off other monsters from trying the same thing as grillby? is it to show his...um...ownership over me?

_"Obviously."_

either way, it has to mean he cares, even if it's only a little bit, right? i mean, if he didn't care, he wouldn't have bothered at all. that's probably why i couldn't take the collar off or heal the scratch earlier this morning. if i did, i feel like i'm rejecting him in some way. i don't know, it sounds stupid, but keeping them couldn't hurt, right?

_"That's utterly ridiculous. I couldn't care less about you. And if you even think about taking the collar off or healing the scratch, I'll make you beg me to replace them."_ His eye lights burned brighter.

i also can't help but notice the, uh, leash on the dresser. maybe he just found it with the collar and decided to bring it back. he wouldn't actually drag me around in public. no he wouldn't. c'mon, it's one thing to wear a collar, but a leash? out in the open where everyone can stare at me? jeeze, i'm getting anxious just writing it out. oh stars, if he did that i might crumble into dust right then and there.

He hmphed. _"Tch. Don't underestimate me. I guess I'll just have to take you out on more walks then,"_ Papyrus decided cruelly.

and, heh heh, speaking of that...

i tried to kill myself earlier this morning.

His thoughts instantly halted to a stop, and the red flames in his sockets went out.

i don't exactly know how it happened. one minute i was looking at my soul, and the next, i was crushing it in the palm of my hand.

"Soul suicide," he whispered in complete shock, like he couldn't even believe he had to utter those words.

i guess when i saw it, so vulnerable and damaged, it seemed so easy to get rid of the source of my problems. there were tons of cracks in it, and i couldn't help but feel they represented all of my failures, like they were evidence of them. then i started running my fingers over the cracks; like i was punishing myself for all of the things i've fucked up. it felt... _liberating_ in some sick way. at that moment, dying and finally giving up was all i could think about. i kept thinking that it would be better for papyrus if i just offed myself right then and there.

A painful pang of something like...fear shot through him only to swiftly be replaced by anger, and then, burning _fury_. His eye sockets were swallowed by the twin flames ignited in them as they shined so fiercely that the entire room was cast in a hellish glow. The feeling of rage consumed him until he could only see red, and he was shaking like a bomb ready to go off. _"How dare he."_

"HOW FUCKING DARE HE!"

 _"That selfish, moronic BASTARD! Does he think he can just erase himself from ever existing and leave me behind?! He can't-no-he doesn't have any RIGHT to even think about doing something like that! Let alone attempt to! And he dares to hide it from me!"_ A terrifying snarl made its way out of his mouth, and he could feel his magic swirling around him like a hurricane. _"What if he had succeeded?! Did he think of that?! And he didn't have the decency to leave anything behind; not a single fucking note! He was going to leave me stranded without a care in the world!"_

Papyrus's crimson gaze shifted to the last sentence. _"Nyeh! I can't believe he has the audacity to...to fucking decide for me like that! It's NOT his decision to make!"_

The Royal Guardsman sucked in a huge breath as he forcefully shoved his anger behind his walls. He had to think about this carefully without his emotions getting in the way, but his flaming sockets didn't dim in the slightest. _"I suppose,"_ he thought, stretching out the two words with a forced calmness, _"that I can't trust him enough to let him out of my sight for even a second. No matter. I'll just have to keep an eye on him at all times. He will continue to live. Whether he likes it or not."_

Deeming himself calm enough, Papyrus steeled himself and let his eyes wonder to the next part.

i didn't plan on stopping any time soon, and it was _terrifying_. but something knocked me out of it.

His eye sockets widened in surprise, and they quickly darted to the next paragraph, impatient to know what had prevented his brother's near death.

actually, i think it was the collar brushing up against the sensitive "p" on my clavicle. wow...holy fuck, if papyrus hadn't put the collar on me or marked me, i would've killed myself for sure••••••••••• ••••••••••••

Papyrus's brow bones furrowed slightly in confusion and frustration. He really didn't know how he felt about all of this. On one hand, he wanted to bitch slap Sans over and over for his utter stupidity, but on the other hand, he wanted to have Sans's leash in his hand at all times just to make sure no one, including Sans, hurt his brother. It was entirely confusing, and it was honestly starting to give him a headache.

even if he saved my life indirectly, does that mean i owe him two life debts now? well, they really don't matter that much to me, anyhow. if papyrus wasn't there i would've given up a long time ago in the first place. he's the reason i'm still here; he's the reason that i'm still trying. i owe him so much more than a measly two life debts. i pretty much owe him _everything_.

The thing is, Papyrus would like to believe that this was true instead of the paragraphs that insulted him before this one, but he wasn't sure what to believe anymore. Sans was obviously not in his right mind, so Papyrus remained skeptical.

That wasn't to say that he would completely discard the information. He certainly didn't miss the whole "i pretty much owe him everything" part. Papyrus stored the information away for further use, but for now, he had to finish this mess of a diary entry.

anyways, after that whole wonderful event, i found my jacket i thought i had lost. i was really worried that it had gotten destroyed or some shit like that, so it was definitely a relief to see it folded neatly on the table downstairs. it seems so stupid to be this worried over a jacket of all things, but it's been a security blanket of sorts for me. and my soul is naturally cooler, so it's nice to be surrounded by a warm, fuzzy jacket all the time.

_"Really? After trying to kill yourself, this is what you're worried about? And of course I would have it folded nicely on the table. Both of us can't be disgusting slobs,"_ he remarked.

Papyrus absentmindedly reached up and wrapped his fingers around his scarf. _"Although, I suppose I can somewhat understand the attachment."_

besides, even if i know it won't help anything, i feel like when i put my hood up, i'm protected somewhat. since no one else is going to protect me, my jacket is going to have to do... wow, that sounded really sad, even by my standards.

The tall skeleton made an offended noise in the back of his throat. _"What am I, chopped liver?! I protect Sans! He's not dead yet, is he?"_

His mind automatically flashed back to the last couple of paragraphs. He huffed. _"Well, I didn't think he'd try to fucking hurt himself!"_ he defended. _"Still...I'll just have to defend him from one more monster! Even if it is himself! Nothing The Great Papyrus can't handle!"_

He went on the read the next sentence, but there was a huge ink splatter across the page. Papyrus figured that the ink must've been spilt on the page and bled through to the previous pages once the diary had been closed.

Gloved hands shut the book, and he sighed. He had a lot to think about. Stars, he was furious at Sans for lying to him, going behind his back, being ungrateful, trying to kill himself so selfishly, and he was sure he could think up many other reasons if he so desired, but he couldn't afford to stay angry and emotionally unattached. He couldn't just abandon his responsibility like that. As his brother, it was his duty to look after Sans, no matter how unbearable he might be acting at the moment.

Yet...those passages. They made his marrow boil with hate and spite, and it made him feel emotions that he wasn't sure he liked. He felt like he had uncovered this whole other side of his brother, and he almost wished he hadn't because suddenly, Sans felt like a stranger. He had morphed into this backstabbing, ungrateful, suicidal _stranger_.

This changed the game quite a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CREDIT:  
> "Flamefriends" had the idea to make it seem like Sans liked Grillby and not Papyrus with the way the ink blotches were structured, and an anon named "x" reinforced the idea by doing two paragraphs for me (1. besides, the way grillby's magic felt when he was that close to me... & 2\. i can still remember the way it felt to have his hands across my back...).
> 
> Sooooo, it was totally their idea and not mine, and they're the ones that made Sans's life so much worse. *Casually throws these two lovely people under the bus* Haha I'm just kidding! Don't hate on them; they helped me out a bunch!
> 
> Anyway, this chapter was a good bit longer than my other ones (around 7,600 words) to make up for my lateness. I hope the chapter didn't disappoint you because I know some people were really looking forward to the journal entry part, and I tried to live up to their expectations. I hope you have a fantastic day/night!


	13. The Tense House in Snowdin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey...um...at least it's not a month this time, right? Although, it would've been in one more day. Buuuut, we're not going to mention that :DD. Honestly, I'm not even going to apologize because I feel like I'm just repeating myself at this point because I can't get my shit together. Seriously, HOW DO PEOPLE POST CHAPTERS WITH 4K+ WORDS IN LIKE THREE DAYS?????!!!! I HATE YOU.
> 
> Also, thank you sooooo soooo soooo much for your lovely support! It really makes me smile (especially when I'm having a shitty day)! 
> 
> This person made fan art for my dumb fic????:
> 
> Vam+Vam:
> 
> Tumblr-  
> http://sinisor.tumblr.com/image/147087932201
> 
> Thank you! You're da best <3.

Sans left the station as soon as he could without being accused of slacking off. He briskly walked through the snow, but he was dragging his feet as he did so. Sans was very reluctant to return to the house for some reason, but having Papyrus drag him back on that leash for being tardy was not on his to-do list. He decided to walk to the edge of town, so he could procrastinate going home as long as he could. Then, he would just teleport the rest of the way home, and he wouldn't have to be subjected to the towns people's stares again.

Hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, he kept his head down, occasionally looking from side to side to see if any monsters were watching him. He kept walking in that same swift pace until he crossed the first bridge that had him staring at Dogamy and Dogaressa's stations.

They were both still sitting there since their shifts ended later than his. However, the canines were giving him those same weird looks that they had given him that morning. Just as he was turning away from them and heading right to continue walking home, he heard a crunch in the snow that wasn't from his footsteps.

In an instant, Sans's eye was burning bright, and he whirled around before simultaneously putting up four large walls of bones to protect himself from any incoming attacks.

Dogamy and Dogaressa were standing a few feet away from him, but their weapons weren't out. "You idiot! (Don't you know anything?)," they both said as they stared at him, eyebrows raised, as if is he was a complete and utter moron.

Momentarily taken back, Sans furrowed his brow bones in confusion, "what the hell are you two mutts going on about?"

The two dogs growled in aggravation. "I wish we could just kill him! (Me too!)"

"what do you mean 'wish'? what's stopping you?" he asked suspiciously, his posture still tense and ready to strike.

"Pfft. He really is an idiot. (Tell me about! This is just basic knowledge; even a pup should know this.)"

Sans growled impatiently, and he snapped his fingers in frustration. A circle of bones appeared around the canine couple, their sharpened points a mere inch away from the dogs' faces. "just tell me what the fuck you're yapping about!"

Dogamy along with his partner glared at the short skeleton before scoffing, "Fine. I'll tell you. (Even though it should be common sense.)," Dogaressa gave a long suffering sigh as Dogamy crossed his arms in annoyance, "Since you're wearing that red spiked collar, (you are officially the property of Papyrus)."

The 1 HP monster opened his mouth several times, but no sound came out as he sputtered with an ever growing blush on his face.

The dogs ignored his response and continued on, "The collar is basically saying that if anyone has any issues with you, they have to bring it up with Papyrus instead of directly facing you. (However, many uneducated morons like yourself don't know what it means, and if they ignore the collar and go for you instead, the collar insures that Papyrus will go after anyone who messes with you.)"

Sans unconsciously grabbed the collar around his neck, and his cheekbones were aglow with red magic. "is that why you two aren't attacking me? because you don't have the nerve to go up against papyrus?"

Dogaressa bared her teeth but still didn't make a move to attack Sans. "(We just have a sense of self-preservation that's all.) Yeah, it has nothing to do with your dumb-ass."

The skeleton scoffed, "tch. whatever. it's just one less thorn in my side." That said, he took down the bone walls and headed toward the town. However, his eye was still lit up with red magic, and his shoulders were tense incase the dogs were just making shit up.

He headed down the path until he was directly across the dogs' stations, and at a glance, he could see that they had returned to their stations. He couldn't help but raise his brow bones in surprise before he continued walking.

 _"what the hell is this nonsense?"_ Sans thought to himself in complete confusion as he trudged on. _"all this ownership shit is confusing the hell out of me. does papyrus know about this unspoken dog rule? is that why he put it on me? but no, that doesn't make any fucking sense. without protection from the mutt squad, i would just owe him more life debts, so why is he doing this?"_ The sentry resisted the urge to groan out loud. _"this is so fucking frustrating. i just want answers, damn it!"_

Maybe if Sans had actually had any courage, he would've simply asked Papyrus himself, but the thought of confronting his strong, merciless brother head-on had him itching to pick at his hands again. No. He wouldn't bother Papyrus with his idiotic questions. Most likely, the answer was right under his nose (metaphorically, of course), and he was just too dumb to see it.

The walk to the edge of the town gave him a lot of necessary time to think, and he used this time to think about the situation rationally. Sans listed the obvious meanings of the collar in his head before analyzing the more subtle ones, _"okay, the collar is obviously meant to display ownership over me, as embarrassing as that is, and i already know that my brother is extremely possessive of things he thinks are his. the incident with grillby probably made him feel like i was being snatched away from him, and papyrus needed to put this collar on me to show everybody that i was his."_ Sans gave a deep sigh, and he couldn't stop they faint blush that dusted his cheekbones. Nevertheless, he carried on his train of thought. _"but what i can't understand is the way this makes me feel. my anxiety skyrockets when i have to wear the leash and collar in public, but i just can't seem to take the damned thing off. i know that if i really wanted to, i could've unbuckled the collar and teleported away. hell, i was fully prepared to teleport when he corned me with the leash in his hand. yet...i hesitated. is it because it makes me feel like i have something that connects me to Papyrus besides just being his brother? or am i hoping that it leads to something more?"_

Sighing, he muttered dryly, "whatever the hell that might be."

Sans looked around and focused on his surroundings. It was a good thing he did too because he was standing right at the edge of town. Immediately, he halted to a stop, and he focused on the entrance to their living room. His magic collected around him, and in a "blip", he was gone.

 

* * *

 

The skeleton landed with a soft thud on the plush carpet, and he shook off the snow that had accumulated on his jacket before slipping his shoes off and putting them near the front door.

The moment he looked up, Sans was greeted with a sight he hadn't seen in years. There his brother was, casually lounging on their couch, arm slung over the back of the couch, remote in hand, while the TV played some MTT show. Papyrus never just sat down and wasted time watching TV, not when he could be doing so many other things. It was unsettling to say the least. Noticing his staring, piercing red eyes met his.

Sans instantly froze under the cold, calculating glare. Tense silence filled the house even though the TV was still blaring in the background, Mettaton's ridiculously dramatic voice doing nothing to ease the tension. His palms began to get clammy, and he anxiously looked around the room to avoid his brother's assessing stare.

All his instincts were yelling at him to run the fuck away from whatever the situation at hand was, and, always one to follow his gut, Sans ducked his head and silently headed for the stairs. Despite having only socks on, it seemed like his footsteps still rustled the carpet a bit too much for his liking, and he could only lower his head further and grit his teeth in worry as he tried to silently make his way towards the relative safety of his brother's room before Papyrus stopped him.

 _"a few more steps. a few more steps. i'm almost at the stairs,"_ Sans frantically thought as sweat started to gather on his skull. He rested his hand on the railing and cautiously placed his foot on the first step, and he had to restrain himself from sighing in relief. _"alright. now all i have to do is-"_

"Sans," a cold voice stated.

Said skeleton violently flinched as his nonexistent breath caught in his throat. "y-yes, boss?" he timidly replied.

"Where do you think you're going." It was more of a command than a question, really.

He struggled for an excuse to escape into the bedroom. "u-uh, you see, boss... um, i-i was j-just going to g-go i-into your room-"

Papyrus snorted condescendingly, gaze still focused on the television, "And do what exactly?"

Sans fidgeted nervously, and his grip on the stair railing tightened almost painfully as he attempted to reel his anxiety back in. "go t-to sleep...?" he said unsurely, the sentence trailing off into a question when his insecurities got the better of him.

Suddenly, his brother's gaze snapped to him, and Sans instantly started studying the texture of the railing in order to avoid eye contact. "You haven't had dinner yet," Papyrus said in that same clipped, distant tone.

"o-oh, well y-you know, i'm not th-that hungry, s-so..." He loosened his grip on the railing and awkwardly stuffed his hands in his pockets to hide his nervous shaking and to try to appear casual.

Papyrus sneered at his obvious lie, and he couldn't help but snap at him, "You're such a fucking liar. Do you ever tell me anything truthful anymore? Or is it all just a bunch of deceitful lies?"

Sans's eye sockets widened, and he curled his small hands into fists from inside his jacket as he tried to flinch as little as possible. He opened his mouth several times in confused fear, but no sound escaped him. What the hell was Papyrus going on about?

His brother scoffed and hardened his glare like Sans's silence was all the confirmation he needed. "Pathetic."

The oldest's eye lights shrunk into quivering pin pricks, and he gritted his sharpened teeth in order to silence the tiny whimper that threatened to escape. He jerked his skull away from his brother as he curled in on himself the best he could. He furrowed his brow bones, his mouth tilting downwards in a frown, and he hoped that his obvious hurt at the comment wasn't showing.

Papyrus rolled his eyes and leered at him before abruptly standing up and making his way over to Sans.

The other skeleton saw him walking over out of the corner of his eye socket, and a quick, fleeting feeling of hope somehow ignited itself in Sans's soul. He entertained the idea that maybe his brother had seen his upset expression and come over to console him. He immediately squashed the idea and almost laughed out loud at how ridiculous the very thought of that was. However, anxiety gripped his soul again once he realized how quickly Papyrus was approaching him, not looking exactly happy either, and he habitually scraped the palms of his hands with his sharp fingertips. He could practically feel the dust on his fingers.

By now, the intimidating skeleton was only a couple of steps away from him, and Sans finally snapped out of his paralyzed state. He hurriedly stumbled away from the stairs and away from Papyrus only to trip in his haste, and he was sent falling backwards, arms wrenched out of their respective pockets and flailing around uselessly, until his pelvic bone made painful contact with the ground. His olecranons followed suit only seconds after when he instinctually put his arms behind him to cushion his fall. Luckily for him, his back hadn't made contact with the carpet as harshly as his pelvic bone and olecranons had. That could've been the end of him.

Sans glanced up to see his younger brother simply watching him with that impassive, merciless gleam in his eyes, arms crossed in a way that screamed disappointment.

Despite his bones being rubbed raw from carpet burn, he still attempted to scramble backwards even if his bones ached in protest.

Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets, and a scowl marred his otherwise blank expression. "Stop that immediately, you ungrateful brat," he growled out.

Instantly stopping in his tracks, Sans stared up fearfully at the Royal Guardsman, thoughts racing through his skull. _"holy fuck. holy fuck. what's wrong with him?! why is he in such a bad mood?! did something happen to him at work? shit. what if it was my fault?! it was probably my fault. it's always my fault! shitshitshitshitshit. c'mon, think, you moron! what have i done to anger boss?! um, maybe it's still the grillby thing? but he seemed better about it this morning! he probably had time on patrol to fester in his thoughts or some shit, and he finally realized that he should've kicked me out a long time ago. fuck! what do i say? what do i say, damn it! i-"_

All of the sudden a clawed hand was grabbing his collar, and he was lifted so that his tiptoes were barely touching the ground. Sans scrambled for purchase, and he reached for his collar, using it to try to steady himself. However, he didn't dare to look up at Papyrus's expression because he knew that what greeted him would increase his anxiety levels tenfold.

Papyrus had other ideas. His hand roughly grabbed Sans's jaw, and he tilted it upwards and snarled, "Look at me."

White, trembling pupils snapped up to meet blood red ones. _"please don't kick me out. please don't kick me out."_

Sans's little mantra was interrupted when Papyrus spoke in a deadly, cold tone, "I'm really not in the mood for your shit right now, Sans. So just sit on the couch like a good boy while I get the spaghetti. Can you at least do that much?"

He hurriedly nodded, and he was lowered so that his feet were flat on the carpet floor. Giving Sans a rough shove towards the couch, Papyrus strided over to the kitchen and got out the left over pasta.

Sans, on the other hand, was left sitting, frozen in terror, on the couch. His soul was beating rapidly against his rib cage, and his palms were sweaty and shaking. Then, a series of loud bangs and sharp clangs came from the kitchen, indicating pots and other spaghetti-related utensils being roughly shoved around and yanked out from under the sink. Sans flinched each time the noises came from the other room, and he curled into a ball, reaching for his hood and pulling it over his head.

The atmosphere that had settled in the house was oppressive in a way that had Sans feeling like he was drowning in it. The aggressive sounds coming from the kitchen said what Papyrus hadn't, and Sans was fucking petrified. Despite his earlier, albeit panicky, assumptions, the short skeleton really had no idea what the hell had put Papyrus in such a dangerous mood. It could be work; although, Papyrus had never been this upset about something work related. Had his position as second-in-command been given to someone else? Was his rank simply lower, or had he been fired altogether? Sans didn't dare to ask.

As unappealing as the two possibilities were, it was still better to think that Papyrus's anger towards him was due to something out of his control rather than sonething Sans was the sole cause of. He could only sit and wait for whatever his brother would throw at him and hope it wasn't going to completely ruin his life.

After a few agonizingly long minutes, Papyrus finally arrived with two bowls of spaghetti in hand. He stopped in front of Sans, who was sitting in his usual spot on the far end of the couch, and he silently handed the pasta to Sans. The older brother took it with tembling hands, and he cradled to his body like his sanity depended on it. Papyrus stiffly sat down on the couch, not once sparing a glance to Sans.

Somehow, Papyrus's blank expression and cold indifference to him was worse than the glaring red eyes and rough, almost violent manhandling. At least then, he could try to guess what was on his brother's mind. He stared at the TV and mindlessly ate his pasta, but his mind was a million miles away. The mood switch was extremely unsettling, and it left him more anxious than ever before. First, Papyrus was furious and frustrated, but now, he was wearing a blank mask. Yet, that same icey cold presence around him never faded in the slightest.

Absentmidedly, Sans let the nearly-finished bowl of spaghetti rest on his lap while he restlessly picked at his hands again. It was slightly painful, but it was hardly anything to be concerned over. The quiet, almost silent sound of scratching went unnoticed with Mettaton's obnoxious voice filling the otherwise silent house. Or at least that's what Sans thought.

A quick, paranoid glance towards his brother's direction had him staring into the glowing red eyes of Papyrus. His hands froze up as did the rest of his body before he hastily looked away, and his scratching become more aggressive the more his anxiety took ahold of him.

"Stop that," was the sharp order that came from his boss.

Startled, his head whipped up to meet Papyrus's intense stare, and he met it with his own confused one. "stop what, boss?" he blurted out before blushing slightly.

Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets in irritation, "Stop scratching at your hands, you idiot." He glared at Sans's marred hands for extra emphasis.

However, Sans's expression only become more puzzled. "b-but, why?" His fading blush came back stronger than ever, and he nervously stammered reassurances. "n-not that i-i doubt you, o-or a-anything like that, b-but, uh, w-why do y-you care?"

His brother looked away and simply stated, "I just don't want my property getting damaged by anyone other than me."

Sans expected to feel the familiar heat of his magical blush, but instead, an unsettling feeling of...disappointment and maybe...betrayal(?) filled his soul. It was confusing and frustrating because he _knew_ he shouldn't be feeling like that. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but turn away from Papyrus and stare blankly at the TV screen. "oh."

Was he hoping for something more? Sans held back a sigh. Why couldn't he ever be happy with what he had? He'd always wanted to be Papyrus's, but maybe...maybe just not like this. He thought that belonging to Papyrus would mean that they were equals, and that Papyrus belonged to Sans as much as Sans belonged to him. _"i guess it just never occurred to me that i'd only be treated like an object-fuck. no. i'm being stupid again. why do these traitorous thoughts keep popping up in my head?"_ He gripped the bowl in his lap tighter, and he tried to force down the painful ache of disappointment with desperate reassurances. Anything to convince himself that he wasn't going absolutely insane. _"papyrus is the second-in-command for the royal guard. everyone fears and respects him. the amount of control he has over his magic is amazing, and he pays the bills. not to mention, he's also one hell of a healer (butler*). and what do i do? absolutely fucking nothing. i can't believe i tried to hold the fact that i became a sentry before him over his head. stars, i don't even watch over anything. i was just put there by undyne in an act to spite papyrus. it didn't have anything to do with my abilities; hell, not once have i ever had to stop anyone from trespassing._

_"i don't have any reason to be disappointed in my amazing brother. really, i shouldn't even have the right to call him my sibling, let alone be in his presence. somebody weak like me is best left forgotten."_

While Sans was caught up in his thoughts that were rapidly spiraling into despair, his pupils had dimmed until nothing but an empty shell was left in his place.

Once he was sure Sans wasn't looking, Papyrus let a frown fall over his face. This wasn't exactly the reaction he had been expecting. Usually his brother got all irritatingly flustered, and his stuttering increased dramatically. However, this reaction was...different. He couldn't quite place his finger on it, but he had heard something different in his tone. Although he was loath to admit it, the situation at hand had him at quit a loss, honestly. He had said almost the exact same thing to Sans earlier, but somehow his brother had treated it completely differently. It really didn't make any logical sense whatsoever, and it was extremely frustrating. The room suddenly felt too suffocating for his liking, and he decided to go up to his room to do some paperwork (possibly to get away from his brother too but he would never admit that).

Just as he was getting reasy to leave, he froze in his tracks. _"Wait a fuck. I can't just leave Sans here! He might try to hurt himself again! Fuck! Well, I do still need to get some paperwork done, so I guess Sans will just have to come with me. That way I can keep an eye socket on him while still doing my paperwork. Nyeh heh heh! Such a great idea from The Great Papyrus!"_

He turned towards Sans, fully intending to order him to eat faster and come up with him. Seeing his older sibling just staring at the TV like it wasn't really there, however, had him faltering just a bit before he shook off the weird feeling and continued on with renewed vigor.

"Sans," he snapped, trying to get said skeleton's attention. "Sans," he tried again. "Sans! Snap out of it, you idiot!" He then proceeded to smack (lightly, of course, severely harming him would just be counter-productive, obviously) Sans upside the head.

Sans jumped like a scared animal as he snapped back to reality, and his shaking increased dramatically, "i-i'm s-sorry, boss! i d-didn't- i-"

The Royal Guardsman rubbed his temples tiredly, and he held up a gloved hand for silence, which he received. "Never mind that. We're going up stairs because I need to do some paperwork," he declared, and he headed towards the kitchen to put his dishes in the sink.

Even though Sans was still extremely "rattled" from what had just happened, he was also very curious as to why Papyrus needed him up there with him, though he didn't risk voicing his question. He picked his bowl up from its position on the floor and cautiously followed Papyrus into the other room.

The 1 HP monster followed Papyrus out of the kitchen, and he carefully trailed his brother until they got to his room. Sans had fumbled a bit on his way up the stairs due to his constant shaking, much to his embarrassment, and he was relieved to finally make it upstairs.

When he entered the room, his brother was waiting for him rather impatiently if the tapping of his foot was any indicator, and Sans couldn't help but feel a stab of guilt for making his cool brother wait for someone like him. Behind him, the door shut and locked with a familiar click. The sentry looked around anxiously, unsure about what to do with himself as Papyrus sat in the chair by his desk in the far corner of the room, and he opened one of the drawers to rummage through his organized files.

As he always did, Sans felt completely uncomfortable in unfamiliar territory; though, he had no reason to be this nervous after all this time. However, his anxiety didn't exactly agree with his logic and fucked him up, anway.

He shifted in place uneasily. By no means had he forgotten the foul mood Papyrus had been in (and still was in). He wasn't sure whether he should take the initiative and sit on the bed or if he should wait for his brother's orders. But what if Papyrus got even more annoyed than he already was that Sans couldn't manage to sit on a bed properly? On the other hand, if he sat on Papyrus's plush bed without permission, Boss could get pissed at Sans's insolence. Fuck, what should he do? Any normal monster would've quickly been able to make such a simple decision, but Sans couldn't for the life of him.

Stars, he _really_ shouldn't be here. When was his room going to repaired again? And what about his fucked up jacket? He almost winced at how bratty he sounded, and he silently cursed himself for being too selfish. 

Back to the matter at hand, Papyrus had finally looked back from his paperwork to see his brother still standing there tensely. He took a deep breath to gather his rapidly thinning patience. "I thought you said you wanted to go to sleep."

Luckily Sans was smart enough not to reply, and he only gave a jerky nod before he scrambled into the bed. He pulled the covers over himself and turned away from his brother. However, he once he thought Papyrus was absorbed in his work, he peeked over his shoulder to see flaming pupils peering into his intensely. His brother had been doing a lot of that today. Sans felt his face flush, and he swiftly turned away. _"what the fuck is happening?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hmm, is that a reference to a certain demon butler????
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this and putting up with slow updates! I love you guys <3333


	14. DISCONTINUED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT A NEW CHAPTER.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. This is a link to some fan art I got from last chapter:
> 
> http://maxlad.deviantart.com/art/Request-Found-out-638885015
> 
> Thanks you so much for the fan art!

Hey guys, I'm really sorry if you thought this was a new chapter, but I tried to make it clear in the title and chapter summary that it wasn't. I understand that a lot of you are going to be upset, and I deeply apologize for disappointing all of you. But honestly I have no interest to finish this story. I tried to find the least bit of interest to continue this, but I just really don't want to. I've moved on and away from this ship and the Undertale fandom as a whole. Again, I'm really sorry but this story is now DISCONTINUED. Thank you all so much for the endless support. Not once have I regretted writing this story, and this community really is so welcoming. Thank you for all you time and patience <3

EDIT: I've gotten a couple requests from people if they can write a continuation of this story. If you want to continue it, just comment your fic's title, and I'll re-edit this chapter and add the fic down below. Thanks again!


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